Are we overspending on extra- curricular?!

[Cheepcheep123]

Please can I have some comparatives.

We spend around £2100 per term on extra curricular for 2 kids ages 10 & 9. London based.
Clubs are : dd 9 ballet, language , tutoring ,swimming. She did do an instrument but we dropped it this term given the rising costs.
Dd10- Gymnastics, swim, language, tutoring ( costs peanuts compared to dd9 costs as no 11 plus prep going on with her) also did an instrument and dropped it recently due to costs.

I don't think we do a crazy lot more than what others in their cohort are doing and didn't see the instruments as excessive- dh did and says although we can afford clubs it's way to much to spending on extra curricular. So is he right. ?

How much do you spend totally per year and what clubs do you get for that?

It's less the spending which is obviously way more than many people could afford and probably way less than many others

and more the time - do the kids get any time to follow their own interests, to be bored , to play out and chill out ?

I think the costs sound extortionate, my daughter does swimming, 4x different types of dance and gymnastics. This costs circa £200 per month. Even if I had to pay for two children it would be half the cost you guys are paying.

I think it might feel like a lot in particular because you are merging two categories - "hobbies" and also "academic stretching" whereas these could be considered separately? Also, is the language a supplement to school or is it an additional cultural language class - if so, that is another category of activity again.

So if other people at the school gate say they only spend £3.50 a week on the Brownies if you ask them what extracurriculars they do, all the above will obviously feel like loads - but they are only covering your "hobbies" provision in that.
But someone who is providing an extra category that you don't have - like flights/hotels to compete in sport internationally/ski etc - would probably feel your total is pretty modest.

Is everyone else in the cohort doing all three of your categories as well, or are they just doing 'hobbies' or 'a hobby and some tutoring'?

I've just worked it out ad £1000 per year total for mine (DD13 and DD11) but doesn't include travel, equipment or camps... that could easily be the same again. Thats for a sport and Scouts each.

What is the aim f the tutoring for example... is it just for Primary, are will that continue through secondary? Same with language.

I think it depends what they do as well- my dc mainly do team sports which are pretty cheap- maybe a few hundred for the whole season plus kit and petrol to matches. The coaches are mainly volunteers- if you do things with paid coaches like swimming and gymnastics those tend to be more expensive.

So the language is a cultural one and is non negotiable for them. The tutoring dd9 was just for primary to catch her up but now adds in the 11 plus prep. So that will go next year.
Dd10 11 plus prep came to an end and her tutoring is just 1 hr of maths once a week now.
Sorry I forgot to mention the above list includes brownies too.

I've tried to figure out apart from language and tutoring if they'd like to drop anything but instead I get the opposite they want to do more ! So I'm curtailing it and without the music lessons I guess it's hobbies are ballet- brownies - swim for one kid and gymnasitcs- brownies- swim for the other

Dd10 will probably drop swim as soon as she's proficient swimmer .

Yes they do. I'm quite mindful of downtime and in the past I've pulled them from clubs if I've felt it's getting to much but they love them and are always asking for more and I feel like we're always trying to hold them back. But I look at my outgoing and am like I don't know if its reasonable to be doing more here or if they're verging on being over spoilt?!

Don't forget that they don't have to have all their childhood opportunities provided simultaneously - it is entirely valid for you to support them to do different activities at different ages, that is still you providing the option to try things, and also they can focus on each one more and won't burn out.

If you are worried about spoiling them...
The language and tutoring are irrelevant.

Then they have a swimming (a skill), brownies (social) then a sport of their choice.

Thats a balanced list, and pretty normal really.
(Edited to add... based on the children I meet through my work!)

I think this is it @BestZebbie . I feel like I need to let them explore all these things now and straight away when they show an interest but your completely right it would make more sense to take things up in stages over the years. They don't seem to want to give up things they've already got on though, I sit them down every academic year and we go through it all and they're adamant they enjoy each club still! But there's always a few more they want to try- anyway I guess from sounds of it we're doing ' normal' amounts for now.

@TickingAlongNicely the language is a cultural/ relgious one and not a nice to have but essential for us.

And I guess for me tutoring is essential because its benefits them greatly.

@Cheepcheep123 I meant the tutoring and language were irrelevant to them being "spoilt" as they were important to you. Rather than irrelevant to them. Its education, it is important. (Especially their own language)

We do 1 x music, 1 x sport, 1 x uniform (brownies/scouts) and language. The sport was swimming until they were competant, then they could change if they wanted. DS no longer has music lessons, but plays socially so that cost is about £20 a year. DD will probably have 1-2 years more lessons in her instrument. Language cost is minimal (£10 a month each, plus any exam fees). One uniformed org is free (as I am a volunteer with a different age group).

We didn't pay for tutoring except for one GCSE subject (as teacher left school midway through course and there was no replacement). This we split with a couple of other families in the same position and engaged the tutor for a short, specific period rather than an ongoing arrangement. Otherwise, we have filled gaps at home with free online resources.

I think you can spend all sorts of money if you want. But there are often ways to reduce the cost and still have a balanced extracuricular offering. State schools are often poor with sport and music, so I was keen to offer those at home.

As an accountant, I have a very granular personal finance budget and split them out! I have DD7 and DD6.
Extracurricular is sign language and Spanish in two after school clubs (but this replaces after-school care those days and is cheaper!) plus music during the school day for DD7. I also include any tutoring/kumon maths in the extracurricular as see them as value-added rather than a hobby-hobby.
The big one for us is their ponies but pony care/maintenance is in a separate line and then I count their lessons/Pony Club membership/competition costs as the hobby element.
They both swim and then DD6 does dance and DD7 does the odd triathlon with pony club or junior parkrun on a Sunday. They both did gymnastics for a couple of years but I come from a gymnastics family and they can't really excel with one hour a week so switched to sign language that evening as they're active enough.

I have just added ours up and I actually didn't realise how much we spend. £4,500 a year for Year 2 and Year 1. Almost £400 a month. Lots of these things will get more expensive too!

Gymnastics (x1)
Dancing (x2)
Netball (x2)
Pottery (x1)
Swimming (x1)
Brownies
LAMDA (at school)

Netball (x1)
Ballet (x1)
Theatre (x1)
Rainbows
LAMDA (at school)

That’s a lot, but if it’s important to you and you can afford it that’s not necessarily a problem?

DD does swimming lessons which are £30 a month (and run through school holidays) so £360 a year, then she does performing arts, ballet and tap all through the same school which is about £250 a term. So together about £1000 a year. Although we do have to buy costumes and tickets for shows on top, which is another couple of hundred probably.

It is a high spend IMO, especially if it is just the base cost and doesn't include the extras such as equipment, competitions and training camps, but it isn't outrageously so if you can afford it.

FWIW, I've just added up our annual spend and it has come in at around £4.5k for 2 upper Primary-aged DCs. This includes all the equipment and extras, one of which is a week away for the whole family at a training camp. DD1 swims competitively (trains 4 times a week plus meets), does Cubs and Karate, and sees a tutor for 45mins a week (term time only). DD2 swims competitively (trains twice a week plus lower level meets) and does Cubs and Karate.
They sometimes choose to do lunchtime clubs at school too, but these are very cheap at £1/week or free. The tutor is the highest cost, at nearly 20% of the entire annual spend but otherwise the activities individually are fairly inexpensive per hour as we have chosen activities either largely/entirely run by volunteers (and we volunteer ourselves), or are small businesses. For example, DD1's swim training works out at ~£2.50/hr, DD2's is ~£3.75/hr.

DD is much older now and I can't really comment on the ££, but I just thought I would chip in to say how useful we found it to have plenty of interests outside of school when she was younger.

Friendships can start to get messy when girls hit years 5-7, and we found it really helped to have a circle of friends from different schools.

That said, some of her friends are absolute homebodies, who would have hated to be so busy.

As the years progress, timetable clashes will start to dictate what hobbies need to be dropped, especially if they get involved in school productions/music/sport.

I've just had a look at what I spend:

DS (14)

• football team subs £200/year
• football coaching £150/month

DD (11)

• riding lessons £175/month
• pony club £80/month
• gym membership £29/month

Camps are roughly £2500 a year, football/riding boots and clothing say another £500, so that's a total of £701 a month on hobbies.

Throw in tuition:

• DS English £80/month
• DD English and maths £104/month
• DD drums £63/month

Total: £247/month on tuition.

Hobbies and tuition combined: £948/month.

I'm also the kind of parent who plans curriculum enrichment activities on a spreadsheet 2 years ahead. These are things like trips/shows/museums/holidays to complement what the DC are learning in school. That's coming to nearly £21k for this academic year, or £1750 a month.

Add all that together and it's £2698/month on hobbies, tuition and augmenting the curriculum. Still a bargain compared to private education IMO.

When I added mine up I was horrified but I wouldn’t change anything. My children have benefited massively from extra circular and I would do all I could to keep most of them going even if our financial situation worsened. It is music that is the expensive one for us and brownies ver cheap.

That includes private tutoring in London, which is notoriously an expensive thing to do. It doesn't surprise me you're coming to a big total. Is the language small group tutoring too? If so same goes for that.

Ignoring the academic bits, ballet-swim-brownies or gym-swim-brownies sounds like a lovely level of activity for their ages, two active and one social. Assuming all fairly introductory classes. If they get to the multiple sessions a week level in ballet, gym or swim, you'd probably want to cut down other things - and need to, there are only so many days in a week. But it doesn't get any cheaper.

At the end of the day, if you can't afford it all, tutoring would be lower priority for me - they're already being taught lots of academics at school, help them with their homework yourselves if necessary.

If you can afford this level of spending, fun experiences, making friends and learning skills is something I'm absolutely willing to spend money on for my kids. Much better than giving them lots of material crap and expensive devices.

I would have stuck to the instrument and dropped the tutoring, frankly.

Do they enjoy the activities?

I spend more than that one child. London prices. The usual suspects of languages, sports, music lessons (musicianship and orchestras), drama. Cubs is the best. So cheap and they take them away for the weekend!

We spend around £200 a month.
DD8 - gymnastics, French, just starting 2x instruments (whether she should do both is a separate issue!) £120ish per month
DS5 - gymnastics, football £60ish per month

A huge amount - one DD (15)

4 instruments, composition classes, music theory tutor, drama class, intensives plus professional fees, union memberships, headshots etc

It's around £1,200 a month.

But, what were hobbies are now her career path and as of next autumn it will be curricular rather than extra-curricular. Although I rather suspect the expense will continue.

It all depends on whether you can afford it, whether they are well rounded children, enjoy it and still have spare time. Tutoring is separate (in my opinion)

ive just added up my annual costs very roughly. About £5200 on hobbies fees Excluding all kit & competition entry fees. 3 kids. Like someone said up thread - a bargain when not paying school fees.