How many hours of extra curricular for 9yr old is too much?

[JinxSeven]

My DD is in Year 5, and has done dance for 6 years. It's like a 2nd family, and she loves it. She does 5 hours a week. She also does 2 hours of theatre group a week, 2 hours of gymnastics, and an hour tutoring. She's recently been invited to attend the competitive gymnastic classes which would mean going from 2 hours a week to 8 hours a week. So potentially, 28 hours of activities a week.

The dance group go to competitions 3 times a years and for each competition, the hours added in would clash with the gymnastics. My gut says it would be too much. She wants to do it all. We can drop the dance competitions side, and that would avoid clashing with the gymnastics, and also drop dancing down to 2.25 hours a week. But it's the group aspect of dancing she enjoys the most and dance won't let her do just that aspect, she has to do the core lessons, understandably. We are going round and round in circles - any advice/experiences, please? ( Sorry, just realised that this query reads like a maths question in an exam!) TIA

I think it's too much, but that's just me. If she enjoys it, isn't too tired and your happy to do it then great!

I think she has to chose 2 of gym, dance and theatre. (What is tutoring for?)

How is that 28 hours?

That is a lot. Re gymnastics. 8 is comparatively low in the competitive world. Personally I don't think it's enough to make an impact, so might be worth focusing on what she's already thriving in. Gymnastics gets very serious, very quickly and there's no halfway without a lot of disappointment. (I speak from experience, my daughter cut down to 8 hours a week and those hours just don't cut it in the competitive circuit).

At that age we juggled a lot, and it is really lovely to have some good friends outside of school. It certainly helps in the teen years but you have to be realistic about why you are putting in the hours.

Teachers love to have revenue. Some less so, if they are volunteers.

You have to find that balance.

We’ve been in a similar position with dance and gymnastics. When they reach that age it seems 1-2 hours a week isn’t enough if they want to do well at it. We were upto 6 hours of gym and 2 hours of dance and all of her friends in dance were doing a lot more so she started struggling to keep up and enjoying it less. After a lot of angst she decided to drop the dance. Such a shame after many years of loving it but no regrets 3 months on.

28 hours doesn't sound right.. from what you have described she is doing 10hrs now going up to 16 hours if she ups gym (plus competitions) . 16hrs is a lot and would be hard to fit in ..but if it really is 28 hours that doesn't even sound possible as its on average 4 hrs a day 7 days a week!

Sorry, yoshiblue, brain so frazzled, can't add up! Currently doing 10 hours of extra curricular activities, with more hours added in as they come up to festivals. Tutoring is for 11 plus in Sept, PuttingDownRoots
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Wow, I think it sounds like too much even before the extra thing is added. Kids need downtime too.

I agree with pp re gymnastics.

if she wants to be “properly” competitive, 4 piece, lots of comps and learning skills, then she will need more than 8 hours. Unfortunately the way the gymnastics world works as well (not something I agree with, but there you go) at 9 she’s probably too late for “serious” gymnastics.

so starting 8 hours at 9 years she will have fun, do some in house and rec comps, but will likely max out in skills relatively soon. Depends a lot on the club.

so in your position I think I’d stick to what she is doing, leave the gymnastics as fun and only do the hours if it works with everything else.

Wow way too much. Not good for the child. You don't want her to burn out and associate childhood with all crazy juggling.

Wow that's a lot. Is she tired? Does she get time to meet with friends outside of school? How is she doing in school? Does she have time for homework?
Also how serious are you are 11+ and is it a realistic prospect? 1 hour a week tutoring alone doesn't sound very much.

My dd is also y5, I think we're up to 8 hrs clubs and then also 30mins 11+ homework and 15mins instrument practice each daily.

It's a fine balance fitting it all in with good rest breaks in the day/week too.

It sounds like too much to me, and I rarely say that. I have one home body child who does one sport a week and one online club a week. my other child currently does -4.5 hours dance, 30 mins lamda, 30 mins swimming, 1 hour tutor and 2 hours theatre school. Pretty much all at her insistence (swimming is the one I insist on as we live by the sea, plus tutor we both agree is needed post pandemic as her school basically didn't teach them for a year).

So she does 8.5 hours a week (with more a few times a year for shows) and to me this feels on the edge of too much but she absolutely loves it all.

i think their bodies and minds do need to rest and unwind. But I do sympathise. It's hard having a child who has so much they want to do!

(she's also 9)

I think you have to choose between dancing and gymnastics. Both need a few hours a week to do ok in and both have weekend competitions that take all day. It’s hard because if you are good at one you tend to be good at the other. My daughter went for dance. I think that has a longer lifespan and lends itself to other things such as drama.

either recreational gymnast and competitive dancer or recreational dancer and competitive gymnast. Not fair to dance team / gym squad to miss one for the other- commit to one or the other and treat the other as a once a week hobby.

Dd (8) does 8 hours a week of activities in total and that, plus one day a week of breakfast and after school club feels like too much! In your situation, I would stick with dance, which complements the drama.

My girls are in year 5 and do a total of 7 hours activities a week each. It is already too much as if you factor in travelling to and from these activities they don’t get home until past 6pm 4 days a week. I am thinking of reducing their hours as they are exhausted.

I think it is rather too easy to let young children get sucked into extracurricular activities. Someone, preferably a sensible parent, needs to take a good, hard look of where it's all going - is the activity just for fun, or is it something that will lead to a serious, or even a professional level of involvement? Young people can devote a huge amount of time and effort to an activity which doesn't lead anywhere, or perhaps only to a minor level of success. They all need to experience lots of different outside activities as part of growing up, and enjoy themselves too.

Someone, preferably a sensible parent, needs to take a good, hard look of where it's all going - is the activity just for fun, or is it something that will lead to a serious, or even a professional level of involvement? Young people can devote a huge amount of time and effort to an activity which doesn't lead anywhere, or perhaps only to a minor level of success

does it matter? If a child enjoys an activity- and don’t forget it’s often not purely the activity itself, it’s the social group, the enjoyment of learning new skills, of setting personal goals, the discipline, fitness, the self confidence that being good at something brings- and devotes time and effort, does it really matter if they only have a “minor level of success”? Define “minor” success anyway, sport for example, is it never winning? Or only winning at a regional level. Or winning nationally, but never making the Olympics?

kids can learn a lot from extra curriculars, even if they don’t end up on the west end stage or at the Olympics.

one of mine dedicated huge hours. Throughout all of the sitting in cold cars while they trained, spending weekends at competitions, bottom line was always the minute they stop enjoying it is when we stop or look for another path. Not if they stop winning, if they stop having fun.

Thanks every, for such considerate thoughtful advice. I’m particularly appreciative as to the comments re the potential for gymnastics to get very demanding. We’ve taken all the comments on board and have decided to stay with the status quo ie focus on her dance and drama and do a bit of gymnastics on the side. It may well be that the gymnastics itch gets scratched, and she ends up dropping that. Hugely appreciated- Merry Christmas xx

"Does it matter?" Well, yes it does. My dad knew a competitive swimmer, who was very successful but not quite international level. What he memorably said, years later, was "What I really, really regret was spending my youth swimming up and down chloriney swimming pools in endless pursuit of better times, when I could have been out enjoying myself with my mates. There was no point to it."

That’s them though. They could have stopped if they didn’t enjoy it. And like I said, if you’re purely doing it for an end result, and don’t achieve that, it will feel like a waste. Which is why my kids do it because they like it. The achievements come as a part of working hard.

I was a swimmer and loved it. Not so much the chloriney up and down, but the camadarie, the friendship group outside of school, trips away to gala’s, when I got a PB, I was forced to give up at 15 as my parents knew I was only going to be a good club swimmer, and thought my time would be better spent elsewhere. I lost all my fitness, put on weight, lost a lot of friends and a social group.

kids activities should always be fun first.

The ones saying it is too much would be horrified at the hours musicians put in! 8 hours on a Saturday, 3+ hours on 2 other orchestras, 12+ hours personal practice, playing at church. ( That's not even a lot of practice compared to some)If they enjoy it and it fits your family time/ money/ energy resources, then do what you think is best

Some musicians. My daughter's orchestra is 3 hours on a saturday - and school orchestra is a couple of hours after school!

I think you're only talking about a small subset of musicians.