How many hours of extra curricular for 9yr old is too much?

[JinxSeven]

My DD is in Year 5, and has done dance for 6 years. It's like a 2nd family, and she loves it. She does 5 hours a week. She also does 2 hours of theatre group a week, 2 hours of gymnastics, and an hour tutoring. She's recently been invited to attend the competitive gymnastic classes which would mean going from 2 hours a week to 8 hours a week. So potentially, 28 hours of activities a week.

The dance group go to competitions 3 times a years and for each competition, the hours added in would clash with the gymnastics. My gut says it would be too much. She wants to do it all. We can drop the dance competitions side, and that would avoid clashing with the gymnastics, and also drop dancing down to 2.25 hours a week. But it's the group aspect of dancing she enjoys the most and dance won't let her do just that aspect, she has to do the core lessons, understandably. We are going round and round in circles - any advice/experiences, please? ( Sorry, just realised that this query reads like a maths question in an exam!) TIA

My DD is in year 6. She does 2, 3 hour gymnastic classes (competition) and she plays football twice a week. She asked to take up rugby and I said no as from my own perspective it is too much to take them to it all. I have a DS who also plays football so it’s lots of journeys to fit in!

I think it would be hard to do two things (dance and gymnastics in your case) at a high level. Partly because, as you've already said, they will start clashing!

I suspect at some point she will have to choose one or the other. It might be that that point is now. Or she just chooses to keep one more as a hobby?

Do you have other children? If you do, it's also worth considering how much the time you spend ferrying your DD about affects them.

That's the sort of commitment that a top level musician would be spending. And it's unlikely that even a talented 9 year old is at that point. (My niece spends similar time on her music but she is 17 and it's only been in the last couple of years it's been more than playing in 1 orchestra and personal practice).

The 12 hours personal practice is generally 30 minutes here and there at home (or school) though. It's different to taking a child to (say) 6 2 hour sessions somewhere else, where you also have to factor in the getting them there time as well, plus making sure that a parent is available, plus always keeping that time slot free. Practising first thing and before dinner for 30 minutes each just slots into the day.

Mine had a similar issue. She loves gymnastics but the squad training was too intense and wanted them to prioritise it above all else. She dropped gym and now does cheerleading instead (4 hours a week) as the social side is much better and she still gets to do loads of tumbling.

"Does it matter?" Well, yes it does. My dad knew a competitive swimmer, who was very successful but not quite international level. What he memorably said, years later, was "What I really, really regret was spending my youth swimming up and down chloriney swimming pools in endless pursuit of better times, when I could have been out enjoying myself with my mates. There was no point to it."

This is just ‘grass is greener’ syndrome. The reality is he’d have been stuck at home bored with less mates.

Teens don’t do casual when it comes to activities, as they need a set of mates there. It’s why most by secondary seemingly do nothing which isn’t healthy either. Maybe he took it TOO seriously - but as a parent you need to manage expectations and encourage balance.

In answer to the OP this sounds like too much and she needs to choose what she wants to do. Ultimately extra curriculars are about pushing out of comfort zone, making friends and having purpose outside school, reducing screen time very few make the Olympics in anything and that shouldn’t be the aim.

My ten year old does 6 hours of out of school activities and also signs up to all the school-provided sports club he can do which are available 8-9 or 3.30-4.30. - so 10 hours a week is not unusual.

At the moment we can facilitate (and afford) these, but we’re already having conversations that when he moves into secondary school, expectations will need to be altered.

It sounds like too much especially if you add in the additional gymnastics. It sounds like she loves her dance and has lots of opportunities related to that. As she gets older, those opportunities and the hours of training are likely to increase and might push out some of the other hobbies unless she decides to scale back the dance. My DD dances and has never done gymnastics but my understanding is that the two are not particularly compatible especially as you get more advanced.

Opps I see you have made a decision! Sounds like a good one!