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Original poster

Neighbour complaining about drum practice

121 replies

Cleanermaidcook · 20/10/2022 21:06

First, I know that drums are loud and not everyone enjoys them but does my neighbour have a point here or do I ignore.

Ds 14 is a drummer. He practices on his acoustic kit 3 afternoons a week between 4 and 5pm for a maximum of 30 minutes.

He practices on a Sunday afternoon at 3pm for 30 minutes. Neighbour is not in at this time on a Sunday.

The kit is in the room furthest away from the neighbours house. He uses dampeners on his drums to reduce the noise but I accept that they are still loud. He closes all windows and doors before he starts.

He's grade 6 so not a kid banging tunelessly.

Neighbour has said any drum noise is unacceptable and he needs to practice out of the house. He does twice a week.

I tried to ask her to talk about it and could we arrange a set time when she is out walking her dog but she just facepalmed me and shouted at me that she's not discussing it.

We've always got on ok, I don't want to fall out but I don't want to stop him either. I can't afford to soundproof a room but am open to other suggestions

If she complains to the council will it be upheld?

(Donning hard hat for having a drummer)

OP posts:
Piffpaffpoff · 21/10/2022 18:25

Correction -it was this one. There’s an cheaper bundle that just has the drums, doesn’t include the stool, headphones and sticks.

olympicsrock · 21/10/2022 18:26

AlicentHightower · 21/10/2022 18:09

@olympicsrock No, if the neighbour wants quiet she can move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere or a retirement village.

Nobody is entitled to silence during the day. It's incredibly entitled of her to expect it.

I disagree I’m afraid. There is a middle ground between quiet and hugely noisy drum playing within the same 4 walls.
In my view playing the drums if you live in a semidetached/ terraced house on a regular basis is selfish and unreasonable.

This forum is not called Am I being illegal …

feellikeanalien · 21/10/2022 18:34

We used to live next door to a drummer. It was awful. He was really bad and always seemed to start up just when I was trying to get DD to bed (she was a baby at the time).

I was very patient but in the end had to go and complain. It made no difference. We moved in the end.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 21/10/2022 18:36

Can he be a bit clever with what he practices where? Things with brushes at home, complicated snare drum rhythm patterns definitely elsewhere?

deliverooyoutoo · 21/10/2022 18:39

On the face of it you're not being unreasonable.

But. I lived three houses from a drummer once. And the drumming drove me up the walls. There was something about the repetitive nature of it that I couldn't cope with.

Goldbar · 21/10/2022 19:02

If she won't give you some times when she's likely to be out of the house, then I don't see that there's much more that you can do. You've been very reasonable.

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 21/10/2022 19:05

Piffpaffpoff
Thanks, that's more my price range, I'll have a look.
I'm also looking at a Roland one similar price.

OP posts:
Alsoplayspiccolo · 21/10/2022 19:10

deliverooyoutoo · 21/10/2022 18:39

On the face of it you're not being unreasonable.

But. I lived three houses from a drummer once. And the drumming drove me up the walls. There was something about the repetitive nature of it that I couldn't cope with.

But there’s lots of domestic noises that are equally irritating - our old NDN used to do wood turning in a shed in the garden and we’d have hours, daily, of his lathe. Not loud but constant, but he was entitled to enjoy his hobby.

As a PP said, you can’t expect to live in absolute peace and quiet when you have neighbours, especially in a semi detached house.

DarkMatternix · 21/10/2022 19:15

Drumming for 30 minutes before 9pm, even daily, doesn’t constitute a nuisance.

It depends how loud it is in the neighbours house. The decibel level we recorded in our house when the neighbours teenagers were playing the drums was certainly considered a nuisance by our council.

DarkMatternix · 21/10/2022 19:21

That was in a semi, and the layout meant that every room apart from the bathroom shared a party wall.

Somanysocks · 21/10/2022 19:56

I'm willing to bet that most of you saying crack on have not lived next door to a drummer. It's awful.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/10/2022 20:39

My electric kit is an alesis and was about 300 from Facebook marketplace

BCBird · 21/10/2022 20:45

I have hot to be honest I absolutely hate noise. It winds me up when my neighbours are noisy but I do think dialogue is the best thing. I think you have been very reasonable. She obviously does not want any resolution if she is not prepared to give yiu a idea about when she is not in. Remain calm. I would document when you speak and yiur suggestions and her responses in case she does report you.

No10codswallop · 21/10/2022 20:46

My drum kit is a Roland and it's fabulous. I tried a Tourtech yesterday and it was very similar!! Probably much cheaper too x

No10codswallop · 21/10/2022 20:48

www.pmtonline.co.uk/tourtech-tt-22m-mesh-electronic-drum-kit-with-monitor I think this is the one I tried yesterday. It was amazing (but i was in a cathedral drumming to Foo Fighters so had lovely acoustics)

QuebecBagnet · 21/10/2022 20:49

I would hate it. Dd used to drum and I told her flat out she couldn’t have an acoustic kit because we live in a semi. Would not be fair on the neighbours. So we bought her an electric kit and headphones.

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 21/10/2022 20:52

Thanks No10codswallop
I'll have a look at those too. This is what i'm considering atm with an extra crash. www.scan.co.uk/products/roland-td-1dmk-v-drums-durable-electronic-drum-set-with-double-mesh-head-pads-10-coaching-functions?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=feed_clicks&utm_content=surfaces_across_google&msclkid=68ac3f66c8231c11f92d5c3414eaadff&utm_term=4574655568555954
I'm hoping if he uses an electric for most practice and the acoustic only when i know for certain she's not in that's as good a compromise as I can make.
DS is refusing to play at all now because he's so upset and doesn't want to upset the neighbour.

OP posts:
No10codswallop · 21/10/2022 20:55

I have that Roland one! I absolutely love it

I think the neighbour may harm his performance now as he'll be drumming with a lighter hand and worrying about noise regardless. I would get the electric one and some amazing headphones.

He'll definitely use it! X

itchingnonstop · 21/10/2022 21:02

I'm willing to bet that most of you saying crack on have not lived next door to a drummer. It's awful.

I was coming on to say exactly this. Living near a loud drummer with no attempt at noise insulation is the pits. I'm not surprised your neighbour is utterly fed up.

In my case I had to move to get away from drumming noise....for us it was during the daytime only too, but during that time it was SO LOUD it actually hurt your ears and your head. Half an hour it went on, it was appalling, you could hear it from at least 150m away in all directions, so this selfish family made their son practice while they were out at work so they couldn't hear it ....but all the neighbours could, so at least 40 houses were disturbed every time. We couldn't use our front rooms or gardens as you couldn't hear the tv or hear a normal conversation. It was just dire.

Family couldn't understand what the problem was because it was daytime hours. But this included bank holidays, sunny Sunday afternoons etc...all wrecked by this drummer.

So I'm with your neighbour. It is extremely selfish to have an acoustic drum kit at home where you know the neighbours are being upset and disturbed by its use.

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 21/10/2022 21:03

No10codswallop thanks.
I've honestly felt like crap all day. I actually don't want my neighbour to be unhappy even though she absolutely has gone about it the wrong way. I've always told her to tell me if he's disturbing her too much and she never has until this absolute outburst. I really wish she'd have come to me sooner or be willing to discuss times when she's not in but she wont. I've spent the day looking into soundproof booths but i just don't have that kind of money. A better electric kit seems the only solution because now ds is too worried to play his acoustic which is heartbreaking because he literally lives for his drums.
At least i know that this kit will do the job so thanks. x

OP posts:
HotPenguin · 21/10/2022 21:04

You've been very reasonable by fixing times, if you were randomly playing the drums at all different times I would think you were being unreasonable. Life does involve some noise,bwhether it's building work, kids playing outside or dogs barking. If it bothers your neighbour that much she can arrange to be out the house when he is practising.

Grumpybutfunny · 21/10/2022 21:12

I would just shrugs my shoulders at her, it could be much worse he could be my 9 year old learning guitar. We are detached and I can still hear it faintly outside

Dynamicdinosaur · 21/10/2022 21:52

Savingpeoplehuntingthings · 21/10/2022 17:50

Unfortunately I can't find over £2000 overnight to please the neighbour. The Roland is around £550, that with an extra crash is about all I can stretch to. Hopefully it will do.

I completely get it, she bought it with some inheritance. The Roland one has served her very well for years until she reached this point. We are a semi and my neighbour says she never hears it and she plays a good few hours a day

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 21/10/2022 21:59

That's good to know. We're in a semi too. The drums are at the back of the house two walls away from next door, their living room is at the front so hopefully they won't be able to hear it at all.

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 21/10/2022 22:14

We live a street away from someone with a drum kit. They play most afternoons. We don't especially care as we are often out, but the noise is bad enough that if we are out in the garden we go indoors or go out altogether.

However, if I were retired and had to avoid using my garden or going for a walk around the block at particular times of the day, I wouldn't be tolerant.