Neighbour complaining about drum practice

[Cleanermaidcook]

First, I know that drums are loud and not everyone enjoys them but does my neighbour have a point here or do I ignore.

Ds 14 is a drummer. He practices on his acoustic kit 3 afternoons a week between 4 and 5pm for a maximum of 30 minutes.

He practices on a Sunday afternoon at 3pm for 30 minutes. Neighbour is not in at this time on a Sunday.

The kit is in the room furthest away from the neighbours house. He uses dampeners on his drums to reduce the noise but I accept that they are still loud. He closes all windows and doors before he starts.

He's grade 6 so not a kid banging tunelessly.

Neighbour has said any drum noise is unacceptable and he needs to practice out of the house. He does twice a week.

I tried to ask her to talk about it and could we arrange a set time when she is out walking her dog but she just facepalmed me and shouted at me that she's not discussing it.

We've always got on ok, I don't want to fall out but I don't want to stop him either. I can't afford to soundproof a room but am open to other suggestions

If she complains to the council will it be upheld?

(Donning hard hat for having a drummer)

It's miserable living next door to a drummer. It's all very well asking her when she'll be out of the house but why should she keep to your routine?

I HATE the sound of bagpipes with a passion but I would never complain as it's just one of those things you have to put up with.

I think you're being reasonable, OP. I've recently had a similar problem (it's ongoing) with DC and another loud instrument and the advice we've had from people working in Environmental Health is that this is not anti-social noise. We were advised to keep a record of when the practice is in case a complaint is raised. Our neighbour is also refusing to suggest times when it would be more convenient for them.

I used to share a house with a professional drummer. It was fine, except when his toddler nephew came round. 😂

I don't think anyones hobbies should ever impact someones mental health.

That's an iffy moral compass 😊

PLaying an instrument can and is extremely beneficial for many people's mental health.

There has to be give and take and so far the OP's son has done nothing wrong. Crack on OP

I would absolutely hate this! I have misphonia, so lots of noises drive me absolutely bonkers. However, I’d probably do what I currently do when the dog next door barks incessant;y, and that’s to wear my noise cancelling headphones.

I have lived with neighbours learning drums and enjoyed hearing them get better as time went on.
DIY noise is much worse, as are the people who sit chatting in their gardens all night long.

She might feel that any drum noise is completely unacceptable, but the council won't consider it to be anywhere antisocial at those times and durations. 2am? Maybe.

There are plenty of other neighbour noises that are just part of life, she needs to get her head around the fact that noise is a fact of life if you have neighbours. Sounds like you've tried to be reasonable with her, if she can't meet you there ignore her and carry on with the happy drumming!

DB's friend when a teenager lived in a detached house (but with other houses next door to it) and played the drums and people could still hear him! He also lived with grandmothers in bottom half of the house. It is really antisocial and luckily across from where he lived there were quite a few flats/shared houses but with transient people.

A NDN a few doors down plays flute or something and this really annoys one of my other NDNs (also a friend) but what can you do?

I know some people don't like noise at all, at any time of day. But living near other people means you have to accept some noise. If it's all at reasonable times and for short periods I don't think it should be a problem.

It works both ways. We've struggled because our neighbours like (and have demanded) absolute silence. It has caused me a lot of stress. I have two children, silence is impossible. At one stage I was scared to use the hoover!

Agree with everyone else - you're not being unreasonable at all and if she won't engage with you to try to find a solution she's happy with (eg when she'll definitely be out), then I'd ignore and let your son carry on.

As she was not willing to discuss this with you in person, I would write to her, highlighting the times he will be practicing, and that you have done this to ensure he does not cause a problem to your Neighbours, inviting her to discuss the matter with you if this does not suit and come to an arrangement as he will continue to practice at home 3 days a week, then send it to her in the post, recorded delivery, keeping a copy yourself.

That way you are showing your trying to work with her should she report it (You aren't doing anything wrong in my books, it is your home and your being very considerate)

3 x 1/2 hour sessions a week? Your neighbour is being unreasonable and I'd shut her down when she complains. You've offered solutions/compromises and she doesn't want to know.

Dynamicdinosaur ( or anyone else knowledgeable about electronic kits)
Please can you tell me what electric kit your ds has. I am willing to buy him a new electronic kit for the majority of his practice but the one he has atm is too basic for his needs
I've been looking at the RolandTD-1DMK V-drums electronic kit. It seems to have good reviews.
I really don't want to be at war with my neighbour but I don't want to stop him playing either, it's his passion. It's who he is.

www.gear4music.com/Drums-and-Percussion/Alesis-Strike-Pro-Special-Edition-Electronic-Drum-Kit/3751?origin=product-ads&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhpeViN7x-gIVTxoGAB1ODAegEAQYAiABEgJaI_D_BwE

she has this plus a couple of extra things, maybe a double kick???? It is pricey but she does tell me it will last forever. I think we had the Roland one or similar before.

Unfortunately I can't find over £2000 overnight to please the neighbour. The Roland is around £550, that with an extra crash is about all I can stretch to. Hopefully it will do.

We have a drummer over the road and I quite like it when I can hear the practise! I think you’ve been entirely reasonable and your neighbour will just have to learn to live with it or become a sensible adult and tell you when they’re out so you can practise then 😂

What sort of home do you have? If not detached then I’m afraid you are being unreasonable.

From a legal pov you’re obviously not doing anything wrong, your son is fully entitled to play the drums doing those hours. I’m with your neighbour though, listening to that would drive me bonkers.

I know it’s too late now as he already plays them, but did you live in a terrace when he asked if he could get a set of drums?

@olympicsrock No, if the neighbour wants quiet she can move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere or a retirement village.

Nobody is entitled to silence during the day. It's incredibly entitled of her to expect it.

You are being completely reasonable and responsible, just carry on. I can think of loads worse things a neighbour can do. If you want live music to continue, you need kids to learn music.

My sons friend has an ATV kit that’s about £1,700 ish. It’s the bees knees

Dd upgraded her rubber pad electronic kit to this mesh kit and she says it’s much closer in feel to the acoustic kit she plays at school and has rims, which her previous one didn’t. I can still hear the ‘thumping’ downstairs when she’s playing but it’s nowhere near what a proper drum kit would be like.

You are being perfectly reasonable. If the neighbour won't discuss other options, then tell her you will continue as is. It is only short periods and reasonable.