DS resisting trumpet practice

[MumwithAspieTraits]

DS is in Year 10 and his teacher is working towards Grade 8. He got a distinction in Grade 6 in late 2020.

His practice has fallen off a lot and I feel partially responsible as he says he is too tired and I say "Aww poor you". I worry that he has pulled the wool over my eyes. Neither of us is musical so it is hard to know the right amount.

DS can be very lippy and has an answer for everything. He says it is too much hard work. He gave me a lot of opinion about how rock music is better than classical music. After a few honest chats with his teacher he is aware he might lose his place as 1st trumpet in the school's premier ensemble. Last year he was in the school pit band playing the West End score for a famous musical so he has let things slide a lot. He used to be the school's star trumpet player.

We are encouraging him to practice at home again - 20 mins to start with then building his stamina up. We put Classic FM on in the car in the school run. What he listens to the rest of the time is up to him.

DS's teacher feels he has the talent to get into a music conservatoire. The first step would be an audition for junior college but we have been advised this is not on the cards for at least a year - even a visit to an open day to look around is fraught with him being "found out" as he would be asked to join in with rehearsals.

Is this normal behaviour for a 15 year old? Will he become more motivated again? Do we continue to motivate him and he will thank us for it later? Anyone else been through this and out the other side?

Maybe he is feeling burnt out and needs to step back from it for a while. I was absolutely obsessed with dance as a kid, quit for a couple of years, then came back to it with renewed passion and dedication. It sounds like he is under a lot of pressure musically as well as having GCSEs to think about. If he dropped the grade 8 exam and carried on with the ensemble but maybe not in his current starring role, might he feel differently? If he enjoys the social side of the ensemble it would be a shame to lose that.

My DD was considering dropping her second instrument. She is very busy so I was happy either way, but talking it through with her it turned out it was worry about doing exams that was putting her off and she actually loves playing in her various ensembles. I'm very happy for her to not do exams, so now she is feeling much more positive about it.

We have eased off on the classic FM. None of us could stand it after a while, too many ads. Everyone is breathing a sigh of relief. DS is actually discovering classical music on his own, and developing his own taste, rather than the pap on Classic FM. Two things have changed his attitude. Firstly, one of his grade pieces came on the radio. Secondly, I told DS I loved him (I often tell him this :-) and didn't care whether he got Grade 8 or not, but I did think he was capable of getting it. And ended the discussion. He has immediately taken responsibility and has increased his practice, to the delight of his teacher.

I assume he plays in an ensemble? Regional orchestra? That's how most kids discover classical music - by playing it.

@MumwithAspieTraits that's great news!

He has to want to do it. It’s really his choice at 15, not yours.

Mad idea, but maybe ask him?