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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Girls and extra curricular sports

125 replies

randomsabreuse · 31/08/2021 14:24

Sat in a toddler sports thing where parental participation is not required but attendance is. 2 girls, 7 boys. Tennis attended by 6yo DD is 1 girl, 5 boys with 3 girls (2 sisters) and 9 boys in the older mini tennis class. Gymnastics is girl dominant for 6 yo but even for toddler.

Demographic is a largely middle class/affluent suburban area and after school drops off to tennis... Football is a big draw for boys (millions of youth teams)

Why do so few girls do sports? Does the socialisation start at 2?

Ideas please.

I have one of each, ideally they will do the same stuff for a while - older one has tennis, 2 yo is still too young, otherwise they have the same. Will get options to specialise at 8 or so, plus obviously try other sports as they get old enough...

OP posts:
Madcats · 31/08/2021 19:08

I started taking DD(14) to 'sports' when she started school at 4. She did "gym class" with a friend for a couple of years, dance in the local church hall (ballet initially, then modern and tap until she was about 11) and swimming lessons. I wanted her to have non-school friends and it was a strategy that has worked well for her ias she went through Junior school into her teens.

She joined a swim squad when she was about 9 (which rather overtook our weekends pre-lockdown).

At junior school they did hockey and netball as winter sports. DD volunteered to be goalie and was asked to join a local club until we had too many timetable clashes. She also tried (and loved) mixed football (a triumph of enthusiasm over achievement in her case) as an after school club. Also fencing and judo, but she didn't like getting hurt!

Because she is fairly fit, she also did a bit of cross-country running. Other friends joined athletics club and cricket. Tennis seems to take a heavy time commitment like swimming once children progress.

Little children don't really care about boy/girl mixing unless parents make a deal about it. I always asked that she tried something for a term before deciding whether to carry on.

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 31/08/2021 22:30

I'm not concerned about boy/girl mixing so much as the generally lower numbers of girls doing sporty stuff at a very young age.

I'd have thought that sex of child was not a selector for "time to take child to activities" so the balance should be near even.

The zero parental effort required option (Tennis - local after school club will drop off/pick up) is the most boy heavy!

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carolinesbaby · 31/08/2021 22:36

I've run a girls-only youth group (not sports) for many years. The girls mainly do swimming and horse riding, occasionally we get a netballer or rounders, or girls football. The vast majority do no sport, and many who join us at 10 doing sport have quit by age 12. Hardly any are still involved by age 14.
My DSD is a football coach and runs local girls teams for age 6-8 and 8-10. There's double the numbers in the 6-8 to 8-10 teams, and numbers are tiny compared to the local boys teams.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 31/08/2021 22:51

My DDs cricket group (8-11yos) was exactly 50-50. This was the beginners group... maybe boys started younger so were in the teams rather than the lessons.

I think girls often do dance rather than team sports. There is definitely less girls leagues.

Littlebluebird123 · 01/09/2021 07:26

I've found that girls are often less competitive so when they are older they don't have the same drive to play. There are also less opportunities for 'fun' sports so if they just want to do it for fitness then there aren't the possibilities.
Girls often enjoy solo sports like swimming, dancing, gymnastics and horse riding. I've not seen anything local for anything else for my teen girls. They won't do gymnastics or dancing as haven't done it since they were little and aren't at a good standard, horse riding is prohibitively expensive (for us as the travel costs as well) so they're left with swimming.

PileOfBooks · 01/09/2021 07:30

Its tricky to find sports for "fun" at 10-12 age as so many sports require you to specialise or be competitive.

We've found indoor climbing good. Sometimes its looking in different places. Plenty of girls do ballet/dance, gymnastics, trampolining, swiming etc.

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 01/09/2021 07:41

Why are girls in general less competitive? Should they be or is it early socialisation.

Most of my friends from my sport are fiercely competitive and we all have to work to channel it in socially acceptable ways (definitely for me, implied for the other girls) - eg canoe "races" at one of our hen parties - when we aren't actively competing in the sport.

Being seen to be competitive is often seen as a negative as a woman/girl while it's acceptable in men!

My DD keeps winning star of the week at her multi sports thing - and I'm instinctively embarrassed rather than super proud!

OP posts:
Moonlaserbearwolf · 01/09/2021 07:44

My girls play tennis and their tennis groups have always been an even mix of girls and boys - so I don’t recognise your experience.
Dancing is definitely girl heavy and rugby/football are boy heavy.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/09/2021 07:45

Society tells girls to be kind and to stay neat and tidy. They wear impractical uniforms to school. They are bombarded with mens sport on TV... rarely womens.

gogohm · 01/09/2021 07:47

When mine were small they did ballet, then we moved and they did after school multi sports then when we moved again (by this time 6&8) I asked my DD's what extra curricular they wanted to do - singing and music lessons was the answer so they joined choir and orchestra, couldn't afford anything else apart from swimming lessons

Marni83 · 01/09/2021 07:48

Not around here!

South east commuter town

Marni83 · 01/09/2021 07:49

Girls do LOADS

Football, hockey, netball, cricket, swimming
Exactly same as my son

Marni83 · 01/09/2021 07:49

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Society tells girls to be kind and to stay neat and tidy. They wear impractical uniforms to school. They are bombarded with mens sport on TV... rarely womens.
Shit school Not at my children’s school

They are all told to be smart

gogohm · 01/09/2021 07:50

Ps one of mine took up a team sport and plays for a top amateur team now but not something available for girls when she was young (clubs were boys only) she only got the chance at 6th form

Bootdilemma · 01/09/2021 07:51

I have three girls and a boy. The girls gravitated to individual sports, horse riding, swimming, running. The boy dabbled in all of these but settled on football which has been the most brilliant sport as its really social depsite him being in a totally non competitive team. Dd3 also lived football but was good at it, meaning that she ended up in a super competitive team where they tried to mess with their heads by only playing them on the pitch in a match if they'd worked hard enough been a suck up to the coach during training. She stopped wanting to play because of the psychological side of it.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/09/2021 07:53

@Marni83 the majority of schools have skirts as part of uniforms. The shoes sold in the 'girls section' are not as tough as the ones in the 'boys section'. My comment was on society, not individual schools.

LizziesTwin · 01/09/2021 07:54

All 3 children did tumble tots, then gym. Son stopped gym at 6 and started karate which he stopped at 8. Girls did gym until they were 11. All 3 swam until they were 11. Oldest did ballet to 18, youngest daughter played a sport at a high level, club in the week, school & club matches at the weekend & county/regional as needed. Son went to cricket & golf but was never that interested. Youngest daughter also played cricket at school & football. Still playing sport at uni. Oldest started running road races after uni & is good.

Bootdilemma · 01/09/2021 07:54

[quote Aroundtheworldin80moves]@Marni83 the majority of schools have skirts as part of uniforms. The shoes sold in the 'girls section' are not as tough as the ones in the 'boys section'. My comment was on society, not individual schools.[/quote]
The shoe thing is ridiculous. You only have to look at the current tescos school ranges. Stupid ballet flats with flowers on for girls and tough kicker rip offs for the boys.

SunshineLane · 01/09/2021 07:55

I have found that from maybe 11 years in wards sport changes focus. It’s no longer just fun and kids are chosen on ability. Football, dance, swimming. There’s not a lot of opportunities to just join a team or club at that age you have to go in with experience and skill. Where we are there’s not a lot of options for any kids who aren’t talented at sport. Girls also are dealing with their changing bodies needing sports bras and working out how to train/compete while on your period and using tampons ets.

GoWalkabout · 01/09/2021 07:57

Girls are dominating youth cricket at the younger ages in terms of numbers I hear. I think you are missing the huge cohort of dancers, and that's competitive in its own way and a huge passion and obsession for many of dds friends from 4 to now 18.

Bootdilemma · 01/09/2021 08:00

Yes cricket is popular with young girls. Not enough running around in it for my dds. Also weirdly tough on mental health in the adult competition stage which has always put me off

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 01/09/2021 08:07

In some ways the drop off after 11 (and after U17) is a problem sports are aware of. My sport is really not necessary to start before 8 and you can succeed starting later than that - so we tend to see the drop off with older girls.

What I had not realised was that girls seem to be doing less sport at early primary/toddler level - well before we'd be recruiting into our sport.

To an extent clubs with fewer girls will struggle even more with retention of girls as well.

At the tennis club there are actually more senior women's teams than men's - although I suspect that relates to the demographic and there are a number of women who played at school, were written off as "rubbish" and then took it up (again) as adults when their kids started. Running club is similar - loads of late starting mums!

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2reefsin30knots · 01/09/2021 08:11

Maybe the very early difference is because of the perception that boys need to be worn out whereas girls will be happy to sit with a craft kit.

My DS sails and at junior and youth level, girls and boys train and compete together which I really like. However, it is very boy heavy and I've never really been sure why.

DS's school is moving more and more towards mixed teams for the major sports which I think is really good for all of them. They are trying to lead a push locally for all the cricket fixtures to be mixed.

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 01/09/2021 08:15

My daughter definitely needs to be worn out! Have many barely touched craft kits, although she will draw for ages!

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 01/09/2021 08:39

I don't think less girls participate at a young age.

But lots of young girls will prefer to choose dance or gymnastics and now cheer is a big thing so they are doing different activities and the ratios at these are heavier girls to boys.

Swimming is often more dominated by girls at club age from 10-14/15 but male dominated past this age.

Tennis is quite a niche sport anyway and one that's definitely more geographical