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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Swimmer wanting to quit

44 replies

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 14:46

DS (just turned 13) has been swimming for a club and competing since he was 9. About 6 months before lockdown 1 he was promoted up a squad and the training load increased accordingly ( approx 8h per week plus land training). It was a hard transition but he was doing well and reaping the benefits in his times. Then lockdown happened and they were out of the pool until late august when they went back to a reduced timetable. Getting his fitness back was tough, despite trying to keep fit (running, HIIT etc) and he was just about hitting his stride when lockdown 2 happened. He’s now saying he doesn’t want to return, because it was so hard getting back the last time and he knows it will probably be even worse this time (they weren’t back to 100%).

I’m undecided as to what to do. I could say go back and see how you feel, but it’s going to be hard, there’s no way round it. He doesn’t really do other sports apart from what he does in school, so if he gives up there’s nothing to really replace it with. He had a some ability, not Olympic hopeful level but he was getting placed most races and performing on par for his age group. He was just starting to hit his stride and starting to see what he was capable of and he did enjoy it.

I’m unsure whether to encourage him to go back for a bit, knowing it’s going to be very tough or just to let him quit now. Like most kids he’s spent too much time playing minecraft etc and I’d rather see him get back into something other than stagnate in that.

WWYD? I thought about water polo but he tried it and hated it. He wasn’t bad at triathlon but unfortunately the club has stopped it’s junior section. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
FishyFriday · 06/04/2021 15:56

@itsgettingwierd

And getting back in gently?!

My ds is in for 2 hours every morning next week M-S and then starts usual training timetable from Sunday evening - that's another 3 hours.

The weirdo is extremely excited Grin

My weirdo is excited about it all too. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Cowbells · 06/04/2021 16:00

I think once they start training in earnest the joy goes out of swimming pretty quickly. It's a boring, thankless form of exercise.

Rowing would be so much more fun. Or triathlon - even if the local club has closed down, he could still go cycling, running and swimming with you at weekends - you could train informally and do a triathlon together. Or he could do one with his friends. If he enters some local mini triathlons that will motivate him to train.

fizzandchips · 06/04/2021 16:02

If he’s not excited and looking forward to going back, I’d let him stop. Definitely encourage other activities and keeping physically fit, but it doesn’t have to come at the expense of hours in a pool and endless weekend meets.

Xdecd · 06/04/2021 16:02

I had a school boyfriend who was a competitive swimmer, it is really tough and can also be quite boring compared to team sports or even running/cycling where at least the scenery changes! You also have to remember that the better your DS gets, the more training he will need to do, and he probably knows that. If he doesn't want to be doing even more in a year or two's time he's probably thinking he might as well quit now, it will only be even harder to quit when he's due to move up again. Like others have suggested my bf quit and went down the lifeguarding route, that was his uni summer job.

itsgettingwierd · 06/04/2021 16:05

It's nuts isn't it fishy - they really seem to enjoy the torture of a pounding up and down the pool 🤣🤷‍♀️

Clymene · 06/04/2021 16:12

Training as a lifeguard is a great idea. There are always jobs

moochingtothepub · 06/04/2021 16:12

At the age he is, he'll be aware training is getting very serious and he should have a feeling whether he wants, or even has the potential to swim competitively as an adult. If it's just a hobby, the pressure is far less and he might want to try other things

Londonmummy66 · 06/04/2021 16:16

I'd seriously look at the lifeguarding - it is a real skill for life as well as a potential money earner. If he works as a lifeguard in his summer holidays it is the sort of thing a future employer will be impressed by as it shows responsibility at an early age (and a potential candidate for firemarshal/office first aider).

If he he quite likes running then perhaps look at parkrun if there is one near you in normal times - he might quite like the "kick" of working on pbs from a different perspective as I imagine that was one of the things that motivated him with swimming.

MintLampShade · 06/04/2021 16:37

@moochingtothepub

At the age he is, he'll be aware training is getting very serious and he should have a feeling whether he wants, or even has the potential to swim competitively as an adult. If it's just a hobby, the pressure is far less and he might want to try other things
This!!

He's in a very important age training wise. If there is any chance he may want to pursue swimming seriously and long term / carry on competing, this will be a crucial time for his development and he should carry on with his training, however hard it may be. I've not had to deal with this as a parent, but I've been that 13-14 year old. It's lot worse having regrets later on than putting the work in when you can. Of course only if he WANTS to. I'd try and have a very serious conversation with him from this point of view. Good luck Thanks

Original poster
Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 17:04

If this has happened without the covid interruptions I think it would be a lot easier to make the decision. What I don’t want is for him to quit and then realise in 6 months that he regrets it. Then I’ll get the ‘why did you let me quit!’ speech and feel guilt I didn’t push him to continue. The thing is, if he was useless or not improving then it wouldn’t be so hard. He needs to have a good hard think about it.

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 06/04/2021 17:23

@Dentistlakes

If this has happened without the covid interruptions I think it would be a lot easier to make the decision. What I don’t want is for him to quit and then realise in 6 months that he regrets it. Then I’ll get the ‘why did you let me quit!’ speech and feel guilt I didn’t push him to continue. The thing is, if he was useless or not improving then it wouldn’t be so hard. He needs to have a good hard think about it.
That's why I'd encourage him to return before he makes a decision - because of covid.

They've already all missed so much but currently they'll all be returning from the same backfoot.

In 3/4/6 months he'll be further behind and may join again but then not enjoy it as he wants because of the catching up he then needs to do for those extra 6 months.

I'm totally on board with quitting if you don't enjoy it. But I'm also conscious of the timing at this moment and what the past year has done to our young people mentally.

Astridium · 06/04/2021 17:36

I wish there'd been a junior masters option when I gave up swimming. It was very all or nothing and my mum was more than happy not to try and persuade me to stay. I think it would have been good for me to keep it up a bit longer, even if 6 months later the decision was still the same, I think I made the decision in haste.

Returned to swim training in my 20s, can't wait for pools to open again.

itsgettingwierd · 06/04/2021 19:44

My sons club are amazing and so offer these different pathways. They have a swim fitness group who train just a few sessions and are usually those who went towards tri. And another squad that still has higher training but not at the compete performance level for those who want to cut back and have better fitness to drop back in if they decide to but would rather commit to 8/9 hours a week and not 13/15.

Eccle80 · 06/04/2021 20:37

I think it might be worth trying to persuade him to go back at least for a couple of months and then see how he feels. It is so hard as they have had so much time on and off since last March, and losing the social side of the changing rooms etc too which takes away some of the fun. My 12 year old is desperate to get back, my 9 year old has lost his enthusiasm, but I want him to try and get through until things can be closer to normal before making a decision

horseymum · 07/04/2021 08:30

Was going to say triathlon too, there might be another club with a junior section. Also second lifeguarding. I went from being a in swimmer into it about that age and loved it. Did really well at competitions, it's more about thinking than just ploughing up and down ( I'd got bored of that). Then got into being a lifeguard and coaching swimming part time.

Teatoweltable · 07/04/2021 15:29

I'd make him go back with a set time limit whereby if after x weeks he still isn't enjoying it he gets to quit no questions asked.

Teardrop2021 · 07/04/2021 15:38

I'm a swimming teacher, would he be better moving back down to the squad below or alternatively the coaches will likely build them back slowly to work on regaining their stagmia don't speak to them about your concerns. Alot of the children who moved up shortly before lockdown struggled and moved back in their previous class, its been such a long time our of the pool and I imagine many will be in the same boat. I would see how he goes before completely quitting.

Original poster
Dentistlakes · 07/04/2021 15:47

Thanks for all the posts, they have really helped!

So, it looks like he’s going to go back for at least a few months, then reassess. In the meantime he’s going to consider his options. They won’t be going back to a full program immediately, so hopefully it won’t be too bad. I’m going to speak to his coach for his perspective too. He quite liked the idea of lifeguard training so I’ll look at that anyway once the leisure centres reopen. There’s a sailing and kayaking club nearby and a rowing club, so lots of options.

OP posts:
secular39 · 18/04/2021 14:25

@Dentistlakes

If this has happened without the covid interruptions I think it would be a lot easier to make the decision. What I don’t want is for him to quit and then realise in 6 months that he regrets it. Then I’ll get the ‘why did you let me quit!’ speech and feel guilt I didn’t push him to continue. The thing is, if he was useless or not improving then it wouldn’t be so hard. He needs to have a good hard think about it.
I agree. That's why I would let him return- maybe for 2 months and then after he can decide what to do.
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