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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Swimmer wanting to quit

44 replies

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 14:46

DS (just turned 13) has been swimming for a club and competing since he was 9. About 6 months before lockdown 1 he was promoted up a squad and the training load increased accordingly ( approx 8h per week plus land training). It was a hard transition but he was doing well and reaping the benefits in his times. Then lockdown happened and they were out of the pool until late august when they went back to a reduced timetable. Getting his fitness back was tough, despite trying to keep fit (running, HIIT etc) and he was just about hitting his stride when lockdown 2 happened. He’s now saying he doesn’t want to return, because it was so hard getting back the last time and he knows it will probably be even worse this time (they weren’t back to 100%).

I’m undecided as to what to do. I could say go back and see how you feel, but it’s going to be hard, there’s no way round it. He doesn’t really do other sports apart from what he does in school, so if he gives up there’s nothing to really replace it with. He had a some ability, not Olympic hopeful level but he was getting placed most races and performing on par for his age group. He was just starting to hit his stride and starting to see what he was capable of and he did enjoy it.

I’m unsure whether to encourage him to go back for a bit, knowing it’s going to be very tough or just to let him quit now. Like most kids he’s spent too much time playing minecraft etc and I’d rather see him get back into something other than stagnate in that.

WWYD? I thought about water polo but he tried it and hated it. He wasn’t bad at triathlon but unfortunately the club has stopped it’s junior section. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:

scrappydappydoo · 06/04/2021 14:58

With any extracurricular I’ve always listened when my dc have said they want to stop but with the proviso that they replace it with something else to keep active. So give him the choice if he wants to stop swimming- how will be keep active? Whether it’s something organised or solo like running or gym.

scrappydappydoo · 06/04/2021 14:59

Or maybe he carries on swimming but in a different squad? More recreational than competitive

FishyFriday · 06/04/2021 14:59

Does his club have a recreational/fitness type squad he could go into instead?

Hellocatshome · 06/04/2021 15:03

Competitive swimming is a huge commitment, my 10 year old does 10 hours a week plus land training on top. I'm not suprised kids are thinking of giving up after they have realised how much more free time they get when they are not doing it. On top of that it is am expensive sport to make someone continue with if they are not that into it. Does the club not have a less competitive squad. We have a squad for children who can't commit to the hours of the performance squad they swim less hours and only compete in home galas so a lot less expensive. Or would he like to try water polo or lifesaving?

expectopelargonium · 06/04/2021 15:06

He might need reminding that he will not be the only one who isn't match fit. Everybody else will be in the same boat. Maybe suggest that he goes back for a half-term and then if he still wants to quit, he can.

In normal circumstances I'd say let him stop now, but things aren't normal are they?

Hellocatshome · 06/04/2021 15:13

Sorry I must have really skim read your post as missed lots of bits! Good that he has already tried water polo so at least you know not to bother with that again, thats a shame about triathlon as that was going to be another one of my suggestions. Would it be worth contacting his coaches before he starts again and explaining about his worries and asking what their road map back into swimming looks like. (Sorry for using road map I couldn't think of another way of describing it) I know our coaches have set out what they are going to be doing which I think has reassured the kids that they are not expected to get back in the pool firing on all cylinders straight away.

MinesAPintOfTea · 06/04/2021 15:16

How about kayaking? Sailing? Running? Or a martial art? If he doesn’t love it then there’s no point pushing him, especially if he’s not career level good at it.

Alternatively, can he drop back down a squad if he did enjoy that?

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:18

Thanks for the responses, they are really helpful!

The club does have a junior masters squad, but he seemed reluctant, not sure why. Going down a squad wouldn’t work; I think he’d rather quit! I will broach the subject again. I’m happy for him to quit, it’s like a second job getting him to training and meets, as well as officiating when I’m there. I just don’t want him to say he’ll replace it with running for example and then just not do it. With the swimming he has to make a commitment and keep to it. I just think he’s enjoyed loafing around for a year, sleeping in etc and got used to being a bit lazy. The structure of having to be somewhere at a certain time suits him.

Life saving might be of interest as he’s mentioned it before and I know they do courses at the local leisure centre. For me all that’s important is that he has a physical activity he likes and keeps him fit, ideally with other kids.

OP posts:

Hellocatshome · 06/04/2021 15:22

He is a great age for lifesaving as by the time he has worked through the RLSS syllabus he will probably be old enough to do the qualification which then will.open a lot of doors for part time/summer jobs. There are also lifesaving races you can do if he misses the competition side of swimming.

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:22

@MinesAPintOfTea

How about kayaking? Sailing? Running? Or a martial art? If he doesn’t love it then there’s no point pushing him, especially if he’s not career level good at it.

Alternatively, can he drop back down a squad if he did enjoy that?

Good suggestions, I’ll look into kayaking and sailing and also rowing as I know there’s a club nearby. He runs with me, but I don’t know if he’s interested enough to join a club.

OP posts:

CMOTDibbler · 06/04/2021 15:23

TBH, I don't blame him. If he enjoyed triathlon, then he can go to lane swimming at the pool, cycle and run without being in a club - you don't need to be in a club to enter competitions.
Or just get him signed up to a gym which does junior memberships and let him be active without pressure to compete

Shmithecat2 · 06/04/2021 15:23

Are there any Sea Scouts/Sea Cadets groups near you?

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:25

@Hellocatshome

I’ll definitely speak to his coach as i’m certain they will be amending the training plan considering how long they’ve been out.

OP posts:

Onesunnydayiniceland · 06/04/2021 15:28

we are in the same situation but DS is slightly older. I think they realise what a massive commitment it is, the hard training, the early mornings, the weekends competing and that there's more to life than swimming. He has decided to change to a less competitive squad and swim 3 hours per week and supplement this with running and cycling on his own. I am happy with this arrangement, this will be enough to keep him fit (and competitive swimming was also a massive commitment for me too).

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:30

Me neither! It’s a tough ask, especially for kids. The local leisure centre has quite a good junior membership and they can go to the gym on their own after having completed an induction course.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:31

@Shmithecat2

Are there any Sea Scouts/Sea Cadets groups near you?

Not sure, but will certainly look into it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:33

@Hellocatshome

That’s a good point. I think he’d like the fact he could use it as a way of getting some work when he’s older.

OP posts:

bruffin · 06/04/2021 15:33

My dc did normal lessons up until they were old enough for life saving and went on to do bronze medallion then NPLQ.
DS earnt extra money in uni lifesaving and after when he was looking for a career job
Dd used it for camp america.
They also loved their water sports and climbing etc

DorisLessingsCat · 06/04/2021 15:34

Life saving is good, he's not far off from starting his qualifications.

I also have a swimmer but not that competitive. She's dreading the post break training but loves it too much to consider giving up yet. Her friends swim so that's her motivation.

Original poster

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 15:36

Thanks for all the replies, it’s really helped me get some perspective. I’m going to speak to the club first and see what their plans are when they start back and also what the options are for junior masters etc. I’ll down with DS to look at the options and see if any of the other options appeal. As long as he’s engages in some activity and staying fit and healthy, that’s what matters.

OP posts:

ancientgran · 06/04/2021 15:42

I always thought extra curricular stuff was supposed to be enjoyable, if they stopped enjoying it I wouldn't push them to do it. When mine had enough of the competitive side they moved to life saving/life guarding club. Might be different as we are on the coast but one financed himself through uni doing lifeguarding, at a leisure centre in term and at a water park in the summer. He said it was a great job while he was at uni.

SavingsQuestions · 06/04/2021 15:46

I think swimming is something you have to really really want in order to be so committed to.

itsgettingwierd · 06/04/2021 15:50

I agree it's tough to know what's best.

Last February my ds was suddenly taking 0.2-5 off each race. He's hit the ground running.

Then lockdown happened. This also put back his para swimming application by a year and it's already a long process.

He returned August and found fitness returned quite quickly and stamina built well but also on a reduced timetable.

He decided he wanted to move to a more competitive squad in our town and we went for assessment.

He was offered a place in a higher squad than he thought he would and then 3 hours later lockdown 2 was announced! He got 3.5 weeks with them but saw improvements again. We went into Teir 4 on Boxing Day.

He's now due to go back next week to an even heavier timetable than before lockdown 3.

He knows it'll be hard. But he cannot wait. He loves swimming and would do more than the 13 hours a week swimming he will be doing if available.

And I think that's where it's hard to know. My ds absolutely is up for this and counting down the days.

Some are worried about it and worried about further lockdowns.

So,e just don't feel they have the love anymore they had everyday when they were going.

I think the only way for them to really know how they feel for the long term is to give it a go.

I'd say at least 2 months. If they find the love again and start to enjoy it more after getting back into it they'll be glad they persisted.
If they go back and each week feels like more and more if a chore they'll know it's the actual sport and they don't love it as much anymore but actually know it because they are doing it - rather than thinking they know iyswim?

I think my ds is expecting to get back in and PB within weeks (to be fair he did after lockdown 1 and 2) and is still aiming for Paris 2024 para Olympics!

itsgettingwierd · 06/04/2021 15:53

And getting back in gently?!

My ds is in for 2 hours every morning next week M-S and then starts usual training timetable from Sunday evening - that's another 3 hours.

The weirdo is extremely excited

ImaginaryCat · 06/04/2021 15:55

Had he chosen GCSE subjects yet? Mine has picked PE so that's helped the swim squad commitment for a couple more years. She'd been wavering, but now knows she'd have to switch to a different sport at competition level, and it's easier to just stick with swimming.

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