Driven nuts by D of E voluntary work requirement

[Davespecifico]

DD is starting Bronze D of E. It isn’t optional in her school, but she (I ) am responsible for finding her voluntary work. She is13 and exceptionally shy.
She helped at Rainbows but had to stop after a week as she was too shy to interact with staff and children and she wasn’t directed with tasks, as I’d suggested to the leader she should be. We have been approved to do charity dog walking but here’s no dog in our area yet.
I have rung and emailed multiple organisations, each time offering to work alongside her because of her age. Every time, I’m told we can’t take her: she’s too young. These include organisations who advertise their involvement with D of E.
I spoke to the school d of e coordinators and they looked at me as if I was a bit mad to imagine they might be able to help me find something.
So what am I going to do? What can a shy 13 year old do that an organisation has the insurance to allow? Thanks

Does she do any clubs or out of school sports? Our swimming club often have older ones helping little ones for D of E.
My 13 yr old dd is dreadfully shy but after losing her beloved pony I took her to local stables to ride. First lesson she was literally sick with nerves and crying but persevered and offered to help tack up ponies for lessons after school just so she could be around horses again. She couldn't even talk to anyone but honestly it's been amazing. Three months on she can confidently talk to children and parents and has a new found social circle of like minded friends.
I hope you can find something suitable as it could be a really useful experience for her.

My 13 year old is helping out on other plots at my allotment site- he goes down when I do and then heads off with other plot holders for 1-2 hours so I'm supervising him from a distance. It helps that some of them are involved with schools and scouting so have a fair idea of DofE.
Might be worth looking for community garden schemes or allotments near you

Have you looked at the D of E website for suggestions?

www.dofe.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/programme_ideas_-_volunteering.pdf

Charity fundraising is something that she could do without needing to interact with strangers eg she could volunteer to raise money for a local charity by arranging events with friends at school eg a class bake sale or sponsored walk etc

My friend's son volunteers at the local park run.

Litter picking in a county park or canal? Look for “friends of...” groups
Park run marshalling (lots of roles don’t involve speaking)
Tree planting? (Woodland trust)

I think she’d find a charity shop painful unless they have sorting jobs back of house.

@ScribblyGum great job on the graves, well done...

I just saw your update that your dd has selective mutism and I really think the school should help more with finding her placement as its bound to be quite difficult for her.

OP, if you'd mentioned selective mutism instead of just describing her as shy I wouldn't have suggested trying the Rainbows again and I would have been more circumspect about suggesting building resilience. I wish you both luck. there are some good suggestions here.

Lots of children only do 3 months of volunteering for the bronze.

So, even if the school based activity opportunities are full now - surely there will be places opening up in 3 months time, if that's what she wants to do?

I would not have organised the volunteering for any of mine
It is surely part of the whole thing that they organise it
Likewise I am in a position to offer volunteering and work experience and any requests from parents go straight in the bin

@user1487194234 OP's daughter suffers from selective mutism, a severe anxiety disorder. Your policy would likely exclude her, and many other young people with additional support needs, from participating in DofE at all.

Their website makes clear: "we aim to give any young person the opportunity to do their DofE programme, regardless of their personal circumstances. The personal and non-competitive nature of a DofE programme means that participants from different and diverse starting points can equally proud of achieving a certificate based on their personal challenge and journey."

This is a remote opportunity www.dofe.org/opportunity-finder/article/british-red-cross-missing-maps-volunteering-opportunity/

To be honest I'd stuff the compulsory nature of it and just ignore it. I have two children with SEN and for ds in particular he was a lot older before he could have handled something like this.

Try your local library. It sounds like she might not have the confidence to help with the summer reading challenge, but sometimes they'll take them on to help with things like reshelving books, etc.

The school has got this SO wrong

1. Dof E isn't supposed to start until you are 14 DofE Ages
2. DofE can't be "compulsory" - again, it goes completely against the whole point of it.

Even forgetting DofE - how can 'volunteering' be 'compulsory' ? Complete contradiction in terms

1. Go back to the school and ask them about the reasonable adjustments they are making to account for her selective mutism.

They can start Bronze before the age of 14 - it’s the school year in which they turn 14

Definitely go back to the school and request ‘reasonable adjustments‘

I’ve never heard of DofE being compulsory. How can school dictate that when there’s costs to be paid?

How about helping at Parkrun (or junior if Sundays are better)
Litter picking / beach cleaning / helping in local nature groups (loads on FB)
Helping at after school clubs in her old Primary school.
Dog walking / car washing / odd jobs for neighbours/friends.

It’s not supposed to be a walk in the park but I can see that this is more challenging for your dad than for others. If it has to be done, she’s going to need your support but not helicoptering.

What backforgood said. Is it worth you contacting the dofe direct to see if it's in agreement that the school make it compulsory. I know a few dcs who didn't want to do it and the schools round here offer it as an option but definitely not compulsory. Feel sorry for your dd in that situation. She shouldn't be put through it.

My ds did bronze last year in yr9. He volunteered in the local small library - finding books, shelving etc little interaction with the public.
One of his friends did litter picking I think he asked the parish council what they needed doing. You have to have someone to sign it off.