Driven nuts by D of E voluntary work requirement

[Davespecifico]

DD is starting Bronze D of E. It isn’t optional in her school, but she (I ) am responsible for finding her voluntary work. She is13 and exceptionally shy.
She helped at Rainbows but had to stop after a week as she was too shy to interact with staff and children and she wasn’t directed with tasks, as I’d suggested to the leader she should be. We have been approved to do charity dog walking but here’s no dog in our area yet.
I have rung and emailed multiple organisations, each time offering to work alongside her because of her age. Every time, I’m told we can’t take her: she’s too young. These include organisations who advertise their involvement with D of E.
I spoke to the school d of e coordinators and they looked at me as if I was a bit mad to imagine they might be able to help me find something.
So what am I going to do? What can a shy 13 year old do that an organisation has the insurance to allow? Thanks

Another one whose DS volunteered in the local library. They get given consent forms to be signed by parents etc. He loves it. Shelf stacking, sorting out bits or reading competitions/challenges, handing out medals to the winners, the whole shebang.

I bet a million pounds it isn't compulsory. It costs for a start.

Everyone does it at dds boarding school, the school pays for it and it STILL isn't compulsory!!

What would happen if she didn’t do anything?

If the school have it as a compulsory subject then surely they can help getting people through it.

Thank you for all the helpful suggestions. I will contact some charity shops and perhaps do an hour a week with her if we can. We have an active local village association so I could see if they have a gardening opportunity.
Unfortunately, school has no space left for school based activitie. They had some spaces for reading with younger children but at the time they offered it, she’d just started Rainbows. She can’t go back to Rainbows, she has Selective Mutism and the little children were laughing at her. I wouldn’t put her through it again. She was vaguely directed at one point to speak to the children but no specific instructions e.g. stack these chairs etc, so disappointing as it was across the road from our house.

Lots now start between 13 and 14 and it is hard to find volunteering for the younger ones in age group. However it can be massively beneficial for them if they can get it to work. Libraries, parkrun (junior parkrun would be v encouraging to a younger shy volunteer) are all good places. My students also volunteer in school eg school library. Missing maps and sky badger both online volunteering options. I get frustrated when those who could benefit so much give up at the first hurdle.

helpmum
Y9 is too young to make the most of DofE in my opinion, but it's increasingly common to run bronze in y9. Previously it was y10.

Having said that, the y9 cohorts I've taken through have done well and it's been great for them.

For the OP's child to have given up after 1 week in a rainbows session probably means that DofE would be something she'd gain lots from instead of opting out when things are difficult.

There were teenagers at parkrun today doing it for their DofE. They were there with parents too.

We were in a similar situation- we posted on ‘next door’ and had quite a good response. My dd ended up helping out at a local tennis club.

Are you completely sure its compulsory? Do they not know about the Mutism?

I'd also suggest parkrun or junior parkrun. Lots of different roles so can pick something suitable. My four year old has a couple of volunteer credits so far, so certainly suitable for an older child.

Junior park runs take DOFE volunteers. They get to do various roles including marshalling and timekeeping. So very directed, and doesn't involve the need for talking if she isn't able too.

Schools start DofE in Year 9, because the idea is that students complete Bronze in Y9, Silver in Y10 and Gold in Y12, thereby meaning that they are hopefully only "finishing off" in crucial exam years.

My DD is very shy and gets anxious in social settings.She did hers at the local library.She did a week of her work experience there(they organised a program for her)and then she went for d of e on Saturdays doing the art displayed for whatever was on .How much she mixed was up to her,she carried on past the time she needed.

Beyond it being compulsory how much do you/your DD actually want her to participate?

I'd be tempted to tell the school that, given they have made it compulsory, they need to find a suitable activity for her or she simply won't be participating.

That said, I do think it has the potential to be beneficial for her, but not if she's finding it distressing.

Granted it was.... Before 1999 I would have done mine, optional too luckily because it's not for everyone, but I volunteered at a GDBA kennels. Most of my interaction was with the dogs. I was left to my own devices and it's probably not like that now but I really enjoyed it and stayed for longer than just my DofE

Dd (also incredibly shy) and I weeded graves. We got the rectors permission and then weeded the very old and very obviously unloved graves.

Parkrun Parkrun Parkrun
Marshalling - No need to talk to anyone, though she could work up to a vague ‘well done’ every five minutes
Tail walking - same and you get some exercise
And you have to do it with her.

Do you know any elderly neighbours, could she do some shopping for them? You could go with her at first.

Lots of people have mentioned Parkrun, that's a good one and she could do that with you too. Ours regularly has DofE volunteers.

What sorts of things are run by volunteers in your area? Ours has a volunteer run cafe, a fair trade shop, a group who maintain the local park just as a few examples. Any of these would happily have extra volunteers to work alongside them.

Could the two of you organise some litter picking days? For your dd and 2 or 3 friends? It doesn't have to be organised by a separate organisation.

Before and after. Was massively satisfying. There was also some social interaction as people visiting graves would come over and say hello.

My daughter couldn't find anywhere due to her age so her teachers allowed her to volunteer and help out at after school clubs etc.

How about going back to the Rainbows and starting again?

She's not going to learn to find ways of coping with her shyness and build confidence if she walks away from something after a couple of hours. You could run through some strategies and teach her how, as an assistant, one just watches and waits to be called on.

It was only in later life I realised how useful my 'just get on with it' upbringing had been.

Had the same problem with DD who was also 13 and most organisations won't allow kids to volunteer until they are 14. My DD helped younger ones at her tennis club (was a bit of a favour to me!) not easy good luck think the park run is a fab idea

We did Bronze at 13 25 years ago, I can't recall anyone struggling to find a host but times have changed.

I did the library.

My school ran an after hours inclusive club for teenagers with learning disabilities and A LOT of people did that as their voluntary.

Is your childs school an inclusive mainstream and is there a buddy system or other voluntary initiative such as Anti Bullying Ambassador she could do ?

A boy I know with ASD and very shy handed out hymn books at church on Sunday morning. He wasn't a church goer and didn't usually stay for the service.
Or would there be something like a litter pick she could do? Depends on where you live but might be a community organisation or local councillor who would fill out the paperwork to say she's done it?

When I did mine many many moons ago I helped out at a local country park. Is something like that an option?