ballet show Q would you say something?

[deendon]

My kid will be in a ballet show this Christmas. Routine is a professionally made costume from Weissmans or Paul Wright etc. Everyone has been given their costumes this week, we pay over 50 pounds for them and get to keep them.

My daughters peers have been given something that looks like this
www.weissmans.com/weissman_costume_collection/9495.aspx?position=12

and this
www.weissmans.com/weissman_costume_collection/12229.aspx?position=13

all costumes come complete with hairpieces, gloves etc

Today my kid was handed a polyester waistcoat and trousers that has been stitched by someone at home (don't think they are well made both of them are literally 2 pieces of fabric stitched together they have not been hemmed or have seams just a raw stitch edge)

I'm actually fuming and almost at the point where I want to say she can't go on stage dressed like that when everyone else will be so different.

Would you say anything if so how would you put it?

I'm trying to contain my inner dance Mum for the sake of my kid but quite frankly I'm struggling!

I don't think it's that unusual to have to pay for costumes especially with a large show or dance school. DDs dance school usually pay about £30 for branded costumes as part of their competition groups which you can keep or sell afterwards. The school are very transparent about the costs and try to get group discounts. However, if I were the OP I would be asking how her DDs costume was sourced and how much it actually cost.

Some of the students in my DDs dance school are performing several - sometimes up to up to 8 or 9 dances in a show. I can't imagine many parents wanting to shell out £30 a pop for a costume.

Sounds a lot of money. I’ve never heard of those costume makers at all. One of my DC danced - and still does - and we never had to buy a costume. The dance school provided costumes - they had a huge storeroom.

Is your DD upset? Maybe being a raggedy urchin is a really great part?

Thinking about the last show Dd did before going off to vocational school

Spanish Ballet £ Spanish dress & hairpiece £15
Supercalifragilistic Tap - Edwardian style children’s dress £18
Contemporary - floaty dress of your choice in earthy colours - charity shop £5
Modern - War of the Worlds - silver catsuit - £20
Other costumes came from eBay or Primark.

daisypond same here. A large costume room.
Each student is charged £5 per costume per show. That includes a contribution towards any new costumes that may be bought forthe show- the student may or may not ge a brand new costume- although probably not, and tohe cost of cleaning the costume.
Costumes remain the property of the dance school.
It seems a far more efficient and enviromentally sound way of doin things than evey student getting a brand new costume for every dance.
My DDs dance school has some beautiful costumes that are 15 years old, and still going strong. The school invests in good quality garments that will last.

I think it is a bit unfair to say that "good" dance schools will have a costume collection therefore implying that schools which don't are "bad". I know some dreadful dance schools with extensive costume collections.
It depends on a lot of things. Not every school does frequent shows so their pool of costumes might be quite small. A show with a particular theme might require costumes very specific to that show and therefore not be easily recycled. The school might not be in a financial position to be able to buy large number of costumes. Putting on a show can be extremely expensive. When my DD was at our local dance school I used to help out and I know that things like hiring the theatre, hiring backdops and scenery, paying the lighting and sound engineers etc cost thousands of pounds. There is no way the studio was making enough money to pay for the costumes as well. Or I expect they could have done - by putting up the cost of lessons. Ultimately dance teachers are running a business and the costs are recouped from their customers one way or another. If you aren't paying upfront for your costumes, a percentage of your lesson fees must be going that way. Then there is the fact that some parents prefer new costumes - and plenty more probably would if they realised how many other people have worn "library" costumes and how difficult it is to clean them. My DD trained as a professional dancer and she has worn all kinds of costumes provided by youth ballet companies, her vocational school and professional companies and I don't think I have ever heard her say "Wow, that was a beautiful hygienic and sparklingly clean costume that I had on tonight". Dancers sweat. A lot. And frequently don't wear underwear on stage. Plus most dance costumes are not easy to clean, as anyone who has ever tried to get lipstick off a tutu will tell you. They don't get thrown in the washing machine after each wear.There is a school in our locality that uses the same costumes repeatedly for competitions, carnivals and so on. From a distance they look ok, but get close up and it is a different story. I would rather pay for new costumes personally.
That said, I think you should pay for what you get. It is unfair for a parents whose children are wearing a single, inexpensive costume to subsidise those who are receiving multiple and more costly outfits.
When I was wardrobe mistress for my DD's old dance school shows I used to spend a vast amount of time either sourcing or making costumes for the lowest possible cost to the parents and only charged the costs, plus a share of delivery costs. So nobody paid for something they weren't getting. It sounds like the OP's school may be charging a set fee for costume regardless of what is being worn and I would definitely be complaining about that.
That said, it is a lot of work running a show and unless it is a huge school with a lot of staff, chances are there are parent volunteers doing a lot of it and it could just be a mistake, so best not to go in guns blazing, particularly if you don't want to be asked to volunteer to make things better next time. I thought I had escaped from all that, but my DD is now teaching and as she has a show coming up next year I have an awful feeling there will be some work coming my way. Time to dust off my glue gun...

but my DD is now teaching and as she has a show coming up next year I have an awful feeling there will be some work coming my way. Time to dust off my glue gun...

I thought my time was over too when dd went off to voc school. Then Ds started! And now dd has started doing some teaching too!

Yes, I was going to say, I don’t think it’s intrinsically wrong to have to pay for costumes. Different dance schools are going to have different set-ups. I wouldn’t be happy with paying 50 quid for a costume, though, that would only be worn once. And it sounds like the OP’s costume doesn’t get close to the 50 quid mark.

I don't know anyone who doesn't pay for their outfits, and we get to keep them too. Professional companies- different. Your average dance school this is pretty average- as is my kid at dancing.....💁‍♀️ so 5 kids out of however many have a part to play, and you don't like their part. The explanation leads me to yes- you're being unreasonable. It's the old donkey at the Christmas show scenario. Not every one in the dance they choreographed is a princess, several kids are waifs, and they aren't ha ring out princess outfits to everyone because they are not necessary. By all means if you disagree with the cost of the outfit, clarify, but accept the part your daughter was given and move on. In our upcoming show, may kid is back row, and barely competent as she doesn't attend as many classes, or do as many styles. That's the way these things work.

At DD's school there isn't much storage space, so no 'library' of costumes.

It is a flat fee per dance to hire the costume (£5). Within that dance some costumes may cost more than others, but together that covers the cost of hiring the costumes for the dance, split evenly between all the dancers.

When it is something easily sourced - e.g. oversized plain T-shirt in a bright colour - everyone finds their own.

£50 for a costume, even if you get to keep it, sounds crazy, unless it is something that you can use a number of times.

My DDs dance school sounds the same as yours speakout. We just pay a hire fee to cover cleaning and gradual replacement. Roughly £5/ costume. And yes many people are doing at least 3 dances, some as many as 9/10.

We buy and keep dd's costumes. Some people sell them on ebay afterwards. DD likes to keep them and tends to use them afterwards for medal tests etc. For the most recent show, I think I paid about £200 in total but that was for eight very different costumes. A couple of dd's costumes probably cost close to the £50 mark, whereas others were much simpler and would have cost significantly less. It all balances out though, and nobody ends up subsidising anyone else.

DD used to do a completely different type of dance alongside this one, at a different dance school. The dance school had its own costumes and we paid a £5 charge for cleaning for each costume. I never felt they were very clean. Also, it got so boring seeing the same costumes wheeled out every show. I certainly wouldn't say that it was a better dance school overall - quite the contrary, in fact.

It is expensive but, on balance, I prefer buying the costumes outright. I realise that this would be difficult for a lot of people, but frankly, the same thing could be said about weekly lesson fees, ballet/tap/jazz/character shoes, exam fees, ticket prices etc. It isn't a cheap hobby.

It seems very unfair to me, OP, that you have paid the same amount for one (cheap) costume when others have received multiple costumes for the same price. I think it would be perfectly reasonable to query this - just make sure they know that you're querying it from a value for money perspective, rather than objecting to the fact that your dd is a raggedy urchin and not a pretty princess!

That said, I think you should pay for what you get. It is unfair for a parents whose children are wearing a single, inexpensive costume to subsidise those who are receiving multiple and more costly outfits.

I agree with this. Unless you can see it as one of those situations that is likely to even itself out over the years I would politely query what your £50 had actually paid for. However, be prepared to be told that that's how it is and if you don't like it you have a choice...

I would suggest you don't raise the princess/urchin thing - it does sound a bit like the threads on here that are 'upset that my child is a cactus rather than Mary in the primary nativity'.

I think there are two things here that your post is conflating at times.

Your DD is taking part in a dance show and her allocated role is street urchin. You can't complain that she doesn't have a princess outfit even though she is a street urchin. Dancers dance the parts allocated to them by the choreographer and wear the costumes the design department chooses for them. They don't get a choice.

However, I think you do have a point in querying the cost. Are they trying to split the cost evenly between all DCs, so that a DC with 4 different princess outfits and a DC with 1 urchin dance both spend only 50 pounds each? I can see the logic in this, especially if your DD stays in the same dance school for years, but otherwise, as a one off, it is unfair.

I wouldn't be surprised at all if the dresses you posted were charged at £50 each (would be going rate for any of the dance schools local to us... we tend to have a mix of basic and more fancy costumes, mostly hired in).

Agree however that you shouldn't be subbing other peoples' children. I'd have a word with the teacher ASAP.

The way it worked ime was everyone pays a flat rate and it averages out. Some years you win, others you lose.
I can remember once dd having a head band and handsewn skirt (I know, I had sewed them all ) and then another year having both a white tutu with embellishments and a pink lyrical costume. I paid the same for each year.

I have kept their nicer costumes, and when they were little they used to wear them over and over for parties.

Agree with Booboostwo, bet the “urchin” costumes are far cheaper and you’re subsidising other costs.

Congratulations speakout you have found a better dance school than everyone else. I have honestly never heard of what you describe and I know kids who dance in lots of different schools. Sounds great but normal it isn't. That said I don't think £50 for a costume is normal either especially for some ragged trousers and an old school shirt.

Thanks guys I appreciate all your views and thoughts.

ATM I have decided I will email the teacher next week (ie after the show) and let her know my view it will then be up to her what she does. We have a couple of lessons coming up at the studio next week and I will wait until after they have finished.

Just to be clear my daughter has not been singled out for a special part they dance as a class her class were told they were going to be a particular 'princess' (along with everyone else) then switched at the last minute. They should have left them as the 'princess' or switched them to a different comparable character or not charged us so much for the costume. It's the local dance school show for little kids not Sadlers Wells

Someone asked me how my kid felt she knows her costume is rubbish bit hasn't said much about it, I expect it will be worse when the show actually happens and she has to spend 20 hours in a dressing room with 10's of girls in lovely outfits flouncing about and they're all rolling their eyes at the s&^t she's wearing.

Please don’t be that parent and don’t encourage your DD to take on these views. Dancers dance the role they are allocated and wear the costumes they are given. It really isn’t a fancy dress competition. If the other kids actually make disparaging comments about some outfits then it is really time to change dance schools. The cost is one thing, your desire to see your DD in a pretty dress is quite another - get her one of the princess outfits for fancy dress if that’s so important.

P.S. if anyone comes on top in dance it is the dancer who wins the audition, it has nothing to do with costumes. No one remembers the costume of a brilliant dancer.

I wouldn't leave it til next week. By then it will be too late for the school to do anything about it and your dd will have danced in the rags.

But the dancers in this case haven’t been “given” a costume. The parents have had to buy it. And 50 quid is way too much for what the OP’s child has. I think the dance school has handled this badly. In addition, if they were told they were all going to be princesses, that’s what they should be. Of course children are going to want a nice princess costume and it is mean to shortchange them - in both senses of the word. Are you sure your DD wasn’t told earlier that she would be an urchin?

I think you should let the dance school know before the show to get some clarification over both the role and the costume price.

I'm amazed ops dd isn't in meltdown over this, being told they would be a princess and then being given urchin rags.

The dancers have been given a costume in all instances, either by the dance school or by their parents. The children have not bought anything. It doesn't do children any favors to teach them that when they do a skilled activity they should not focus on the skill but they should throw a strop over whether they get to show off in pretty dresses or not. A child who is in meltdown because she has gotten a different dancing part from the one expected is a child that is either very indulged or has difficulty managing her emotions - both of which need addressing with greater urgency than the costume.

As I said before the OP should take up the unequal cost of costumes up directly with the school, although if she has been benefiting from this blanket equal distribution of costs in the past, it's a bit disingenuous to complain about it the year it goes against her.