October Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Welcome to the thread for October, which is open to ANYONE who wants to discuss music lessons, practice, exams, auditions, instrument hire/ purchase or whatever related issues you'd like to. Newbies are especially welcome, and we have some each month, often with beginners. All of our kids were beginners once.

I have two DDs. Goo is 12 and plays the flute and piano. She can also play recorders and the piccolo, but doesn't. We've just moved her to another piano teacher because the first one retired, so it's nice to hear her practising again. She has been learning for about 2.5 years and hasn't done any exams... nor is she intending to. On the flute we have extended range scales, the Chaminade Concertino and Bizet's Carmen Fantasy at the moment. She plays in 7 school ensembles and does NCO and South West Music School, although she's likely to be leaving both at various points during this academic year.

Rara is 10 and plays the cello and clarinet regularly, and recorder sometimes. She's vaguely working towards Grade 5 on both, but it might end up being 4 on the cello because of various aspects she's behind in... we'll see. I am still teaching her the clarinet and am currently super fed up because however kind, patient and helpful I am, she behaves in such a horrible way. We can't afford lessons. Ho hum. Rara also does NCO and SWMS. Under 11s will be beyond her, but she'll carry on with SWMS for now.

I am a teacher of woodwind!

floot im flabbergasted at that level of expectation! And good luck to nosebleed boy

I just want to say how absolutely blown away I am by the messages of support, both on here and in private, and how much better they've made me feel. Just to know I'm not feeling completely irrational about the level of stress we (and especially our DCs) are under is a relief.
I couldn't see the wood for the trees last night, but now I can see it's just not possible to do everything all the time. I'd forgotten my mantra too, which is that in life, so much of what our children have to do is non-negotiable BUT music isn't one of those things - it should always be a pleasurable choice.

Like so many here, the pressure some schools put on their pupils worries me, and I am really sad that learning has become all about exams and grades. DD is at a selective independent (in the UK) where you'd hope the head would be only too aware of what ridiculous expectations can do to teenage girls. Given her specific learning difficultie s, DD could work every hour of the day and still not be an A* or even an A student.

I took some time out today to get perspective and then wrote a quick schedule of homework, practice etc for both DCs that has made this evening much less fraught so far, and whatever doesn't get done will just have to wait.

hey, look at druid slipping in the award and being famous. You can't leave us there, spill or else

Good luck to nosebleed boy, have did it go, is he confident?

Floot I'm not saying you should follow my lead at all, but for some perspective I've told dd just to try to keep up with the school work, complete prep and make the odd revision notes, if she has time.
They need downtime and I agree with the sentiment of marathon not sprint.
At the end of the day they will do as well as they can irrespective of how school push them.
Mine went to see Macbeth last night, the full production. A couple of weeks ago she saw a production of actors taking on the roles and discussing the characters. Apart from Eng lit she seems to put no extra effort in and Maths/Science she's already told her teachers she won't pass by much.

It's in just under 3 weeks, Romany. I'll tell you when it happens....not sure what to expect, really, which is why I'm glad there's one 'early' one for him to cut his teeth on.

Can'tkeepaway

Sorry, didn't read properly. He hasn't done it yet
Good luck

Oh Floot: a hug here from me and I am sorry hearing your sister is ill, I think that is really the bit you cant do anything about and only could hope for the best. My husband is ill and I was sad for a very long time, I just couldnt feel things either frustrated or appreciated things in life. For other bits, completely agree with Ealing that you are allowed to have bad days. There are bad days which will be over once we are in bed. We could be angry then apologise later especially to family, for others especially work then just walk away (I work in a investment and on trading floor in Quant area supportting trading only meaning that there are days multiple times I have to step out from my desk just not to do or say anything I would regret later because the pressure from the Business). We could almost always do something about it the next day. On the day I am extremely lost I would normally write down things and put them in priority order and what I can do(or make/pay someone to do). And always, some shopping can make me feel better especially some really pretty freshly cut flowers. I hope you will have a better day tomorrow.

I am still on the train to home now meaning hopefully I could catch a glimpse of the girls later for 10 mins(4yrs old), 30 mins(10 yrs old). Just enough to hear what happened at the school, what they had for lunch, dinner. I am completely hopeless in terms of supervising them anything during the week. It has become less of a matter since my husband illness because as long as everyone is well and they have been happy with their day during the week then I am good. I could check and control couple of things I need over the weekend.

Big hugs to everyone feeling overwhelmed and also dealing with ill relatives.

Goo has sprained and badly bruised her left hand index finger playing basketball. What a surprise... not. But she is the 3rd in a group of 6 friends to do the exact same thing so far this term!

Waffle
Your children amaze me with how good they are musically when they have had so many misadventures
They never cease to amaze me, how do they manage?

Ok can anyone tell me the name of the opera where a woman (usually matriarchal) looking, on a boat, a viking?
Yes, I am that dense, oh, and the name of the aria, song, whatever it is. Thank you.

LOL it's just Goo. Rara is very coordinated, and Goo, like her parents, is very clumsy. I think this is her 4th sprained or broken finger, and she had the badly sprained wrist just before the NCO audition one year. How does she manage? By winging it, usually. She has a science test tomorrow, and has spent the evening drawing and watching Netflix instead of revising. I hope she flunks it and finally learns a lesson, but she won't. Sigh.

@Greenleave, THIS! There are bad days which will be over once we are in bed. I am making this my mantra!!!

@Wafflenose nooooo!!! Honestly!? What is she like!?

Greenleave, I love your perspective. ☺ Illness is certainly a good leveller, that's for sure. I met up with an old music college friend yesterday. We hadn't seen each other in over 20 years. She was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, ended her treatment last December and then found out in August that it had come back in her brain and is terminal. She has 2 children the same age as mine, no partner, no siblings. She's a lesson in how to appreciate every day and concentrating on what matters.
I hope you had a nice catch up with your girls and husband when you got home.x

floot so sorry to hear about your sister. It's always hard when you feel you can't do something to make them better. As others say, too, you are allowed to vent from time to time - better that than it build up and affect your mental health.

Green you are doing what you need to do to keep everything going for your family and seeing as much of your dc as you can, which they will appreciate. I admire what you do!

Personally, this has been a hard term so far for everyone. DD1 is in her GCSE year, but not expected to be doing the amount of work that was mentioned up-thread despite being at a very selective school. She is having to ramp up her output in terms of her art portfolio too - having finally sorted out the plan for her final piece. Her pace of work leaves a little to be desired! Lots of other pressures too. DD2 is trying to juggle all the music and sports demands of her new school, never mind the homework and is regularly over-tired and grumpy.

I have been struggling to get a work: life balance for a while, regularly working long hours to try and stay on top of work and meaning I am tired and less resilient at home. I am part of the generation that are stuck between kids and aging parents, feeling that I am dropping the juggling balls . I decided that I needed to do something about it, so have requested to take a year's sabbatical and just heard today that it has been agreed

Great news on the sabbatical Double. Whether forced due to circumstances or not, I hope you really enjoy the time out and get that balance back.

Great news double hope things get easier
Green you are doing an amazing job
Good luck to Nosebleed boy !!

Hello all, sorry I haven't been on these threads for a while but I hope it is ok to join in again.

I have dd 12 who plays clarinet and bassoon.

A year ago we had the trauma of grade 4/grade 1 and school exams all in the same term and thought the latter two were ok the grade 4 clarinet was particularly stressful.

We attempted to rebuild the relationship with the clarinet teacher but failed with dd vowing that she wanted to give up. With reluctance she agreed to try a new teacher and five weeks in she is in love with the clarinet again. The teacher totally gets her and is in complete agreement about no exams for now. She got invited to play solo in the scholars concert even though she is not a scholar in her new school and performed beautifully. She is working on music she loves and sometimes practices for hours. She also is really enjoying the council wind band she plays in.

Bassoon is also going well, grade 2 done and 3 will likely come around before any more clarinet exams. She is also playing it in the Junior Orchestra at school which is good as she's had to give up the Junior wind band.

Our next exam is likely to be grade 5 theory, hopefully next term, if I can get her to concentrate on it. Unfortunately I have no knowledge myself so not able to help much.

Hi Woolley! It's great to hear how well your DD is getting on now.

Hi Woolley, welcome back bassoon-mum buddy!

Thanks, it makes up for the other areas of a new school which aren't going as well.

Hi Doubleup,

Forgot we have a new investment, new bassoon case, it's amazing, but had to be a birthday present due to expense!

Doubleup, a year's sabbatical sounds just what the doctor ordered. When does it start, and do you have plans to do something for yourself (I hope so!)do

Sorry you haven't had the easiest start to the new schook, Wooley, but the music side of things sounds very positive. Can your daughter have theory lessons at school?

Woolley bassoon cases can be a revelation can’t they? What type did you go for? We have a Tom & Will gig bag which is pretty light, but DD2 insists on using the much heavier back pack bag that came with her bassoon as she’s paranoid about getting scratched etc on the bassoon.

Sabbatical due to start in the new year to give time to recruit someone on an assignment. Jobs do not come up in our team very often and someone will be pleased to get the opportunity!

Am aghast by amount of work expected of your DD, floot. Seems exceptionally harsh. I know new GCSES are hard, but they ought to be teaching working smarter, not longer, if they can. The poor thing, and the pressure on you must be extreme. DD1 has her first science test today, on the periodic table and choosing the right element for the job. She informed me this morning that helium would be a good thing to make drink cans from, so I'm not holding out much hope.

Thanks to all of your help, DD2 is more confident about wind band tomorrow. She's also learned to shift position on the cello this week, which seems much, much less traumatic than it was with her sister and the violin. My own music mishap was taking her cello into school with me, and then somehow leaving my handbag with it in the cello cupboard, wandering home and wondering why I had no keys, phone or anything else with me. What an idiot!

Good luck to all with auditions!

We went for the Tom & Will bag too. DD's case was horrific, I conceded just how bad it was when I carried to and from London for Big Double Reed day last year. Until September she wasn't really carrying it around much but now its going backwards and forwards to school its definitely worth it. The bassoon is not even ours! Its a hire instrument but really nice so we will hang onto it for as long as we can.