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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

October Music Thread

995 replies

Wafflenose · 01/10/2018 22:17

Welcome to the thread for October, which is open to ANYONE who wants to discuss music lessons, practice, exams, auditions, instrument hire/ purchase or whatever related issues you'd like to. Newbies are especially welcome, and we have some each month, often with beginners. All of our kids were beginners once.

I have two DDs. Goo is 12 and plays the flute and piano. She can also play recorders and the piccolo, but doesn't. We've just moved her to another piano teacher because the first one retired, so it's nice to hear her practising again. She has been learning for about 2.5 years and hasn't done any exams... nor is she intending to. On the flute we have extended range scales, the Chaminade Concertino and Bizet's Carmen Fantasy at the moment. She plays in 7 school ensembles and does NCO and South West Music School, although she's likely to be leaving both at various points during this academic year.

Rara is 10 and plays the cello and clarinet regularly, and recorder sometimes. She's vaguely working towards Grade 5 on both, but it might end up being 4 on the cello because of various aspects she's behind in... we'll see. I am still teaching her the clarinet and am currently super fed up because however kind, patient and helpful I am, she behaves in such a horrible way. We can't afford lessons. Ho hum. Rara also does NCO and SWMS. Under 11s will be beyond her, but she'll carry on with SWMS for now.

I am a teacher of woodwind!

OP posts:

hertsandessex · 16/10/2018 17:34

Actually best not show DH. If he watches that film and thinks it may be close to reality may want to take DS out of his school :)

PatricksViolin · 16/10/2018 17:44

I ordered via amazon prime so I've got it now already! It'll be an interesting movie date for us....

PatricksViolin · 16/10/2018 17:46

Well done to miniDouble2! I am sure her calm manner of sorting a problem during performance should be taken positively.

Doubleup · 16/10/2018 18:27

Not sure it should have happened in the first place Patrick. Possibly not put on tight enough. Ah well, we'll just have to wait for the next two months....

Greenleave · 16/10/2018 19:23

Can I envy you Patrick because he is supportive and to certain extend he understands when you explained. From my point of view he might be good keeping things balanced(some good sport at weekends along with all week boarding music school sound fantastic to me). My husband really needs me to tell him what is happening in the family(literally, every single thing). For example he knows which instrument the girls play but has no idea what is abrsm or what exam our 10 yrs old has done. We are in the middle of 11+ now and I gave him the school registration task and really many times I wish I didnt because it takes so much longer with every single question on everything as he really doesnt know, he doesnt know any school and really has no opnion, he doesnt understand the 11 selection process in UK. However, he is an extremely caring and fun dad(and a loving husband) he can spend hours for any activities they do(playing in the park, playing cards, read to them etc) and even I do moan but I do also think that works for us because I could then make any decision and I like it(maybe because he knows I like it so he has been like that ever since we met hmmm).

Trumpetboysmum · 16/10/2018 19:35

Nicely sorted mini double 😀 I can’t wait till half term . Ds went on a trip at 1.30 this morning . A class of 3 year olds on very little sleep is no fun !! I need an early night !!

PatricksViolin · 16/10/2018 19:45

Green, my DH has no idea what ABRM is and which grade exams DS has done neither. In fact he doesn't know many of things DS has done and achieved in his life. We had a little gathering with family friends last Saturday. DH asked me about DS's school and what DS was learning, etc, before going. He always does this quick checkup before this kind of gathering so that he could (knowingly) answer questions people may ask him about DS!

It's true DH's personality is somehow needed in our family dynamics. It would be quite boring and too predictable without his eccentricity and passion in certain areas.

PatricksViolin · 16/10/2018 19:47

Double, I am sure DD2 did well. She must be glad it's over now?

Trumpet, you mean 1.30 am? Wow. Hope he has lovely time (I'm sure he will)!

Trumpetboysmum · 16/10/2018 20:17

Yes 1.30 am his school seem to love early starts . They have gone to Belgium to look at the battlefields a really important trip I think . Ds played the last post in a commemorative concert last week . Very moving. He will be back tomorrow exhausted but with lots to think about .

druidsong · 16/10/2018 21:11

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Crazygirlmama · 17/10/2018 06:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floottoot · 17/10/2018 07:31

To be fair, Crazygirlmama, I think Patrick was saying that her husband unusual in the small group of families that she knows with musical children. I can imagine it's easy to feel out of step in that situation, when your child goes to a small, intense school and you're surrounded by parents who are both equally keen and involved.

I know I'm guilty of saying things about my personal situation that might be interpreted as hurtful by the person I'm talking to - for example, my friend who has terminal cancer was asking about my DD and I found myself telling her how hard it is to deal with a child with ADH D sometimes. Now, obviously, my friend just wants to be around to bring up her children, and my struggles are nothing, when compared to what she's going through, but she could still empathise ( I did kick myself afterwards).did

What I love about this group is that we are all in very different situations, all have very different families and problems, but we all have musical children in common, and hopefully understand the highs and lows we all go through.

for you, Crazygirl. Xx

disorganisedmummy · 17/10/2018 07:37

Morning all, I thought I'd come on here and update you all as mini disorganised had his Junior Guildhall audition on Saturday. Unfortunately he didn't get in but we received some amazing feedback from the head of strings who phoned me yesterday to discuss what he needs to work on. He was very encouraging and enthusiastic about him and said he really wants to see him in Feb for an assessment with a view to auditioning again in June. However,he was quite insistent that he had to by doing about 2 hours practice a day!!😵. Ds took the news well but I think he's more upset than he's letting on. Initially he said that there was no way he could do that amount of practice and we said that was fine but that would mean he wouldn't be able to audition again and we would have to re think. He answered that he really wanted to try again but perhaps he could manage an hour and a half. He really needs to give some of his ensembles/Orchestras up but he won't. We've said that we will support him whichever way he decides to go but he needs to be more independent with his practice. I guess we'll see. He's got a lesson tomorrow and I've emailed the report to his teacher so hopefully they will come up with a plan. It's so hard isn't it. Those who are at JD,do you really, honestly do 2 hours plus a day???

Floottoot · 17/10/2018 07:46

How old is your ds, Disorganised?
2 hours a day is a lot to expect from any child of secondary age. I certainly wasn't doing that as a Junior!! In fact, when I was at music college full time, a very respected teacher/ performer told one of his pupils that 1.5 hours was ok as a minimum ( obviously more was better - but we're talking age 18+ and studying music full time, so...!)

Also, it's quality of practise, not quantity to a certain degree. I'm sure what one child might achieve in 1 hour might take another child 2 if they're unfocused, distracted, not working carefully etc.

I guess you have to ask yourself and your DS whether that sort of expectation is something you could/ would want to keep up with once he got into JD - it's presumably something that would only increase over time.

He's done well to get such positive feedback. It sounds like JD applications are much more demanding than when I auditioned many moons ago!

Trumpetboysmum · 17/10/2018 07:48

Well done for the positive feedback hope he isn’t too disappointed

Ds is at at AYM not a London jd ( but a CAT scheme) but yes they are expected to do a lot.
Brass is a bit different he does about an hour and a half - more spread out at weekends etc if he has something coming up / has taken too much on( this happens a lot!!)

the only day he doesn’t practice is Friday because he has orchestra and we have to leave the house early . On brass band day and piano lesson day he still does trumpet ( though sometimes only an hour). Maybe you could work out a way of doing both on some days ?

His teacher doesn’t like that when he’s at AYM - so the whole of next week - he’s not practising his own stuff ( and that could become more of an issue I think - we’ll see)

disorganisedmummy · 17/10/2018 07:51

Floottoot Ds is 12,and a Young 12 too (June).

Trumpetboysmum · 17/10/2018 07:53

Oh I should add though - no one at AYM has ever said how much , but that he should think about the benefits of certain ensembles vs practice also because they wanted to make sure he had a life
The hour and a half has kind of emerged as just what he does to fit all the different bits in / I do think it has to come from them it shouldn’t be a chore as they are so young ( and could be playing computer games instead )

stringchild · 17/10/2018 07:58

Disorganised - sounds like they like him and are giving great advice so he will join them at some point. Am a bit surprised that they are so absolute re two hours per day though! I would say dd is done in every sense after 60 😉

Floottoot · 17/10/2018 08:00

My DS is 12 too and there's no way he could fit in 2 hours ' a day - he struggles to practise every day as it is. That said, I'm not sure her choose to, even if he had the time.
Maybe disregard the actual 2 hour thing, because it's probably what the head of strings wants students to aspire to, rather than an absolute requisite, but do consider whether DS wants to be part of something that expects that level of commitment ( maybe that's the whole point of saying he needs to do 2 hours - to make sure he's serious and dedicated enough?)

Crazygirlmama · 17/10/2018 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stringchild · 17/10/2018 08:00

Crazy - I get it 🙃

folkmamma · 17/10/2018 08:07

Absolutely Floot! But sometimes we all need that reminder to be a little more mindful of others' situations, in every facet of our lives, not just here. Sometimes I can get myself so far down a hole and to have a good friend say 'hang on a minute.....' can shake me out of a tricky place. The thing that's so great about this group is that it's a safe and supportive place to air all of these things.

Disorganised it's been a tough week for you, I know! Noo doesn't do that much practice (an hour of violin, maybe another 45 between viola and piano on a good day) but it's very focused. We haven't had any complaints so far...:

Floottoot · 17/10/2018 08:14

Absolutely, Folk! It applies in both directions. ☺
Sometimes the small things are HUGE, but sometimes they're just...small, in the grand scheme of things. Empathy and understanding and a healthy dose of perspective usually does the trick. 😉

Trumpetboysmum · 17/10/2018 08:48

I totally relate to the “get myself so far down a hole “ !! at the moment, and sometimes need to give myself a reality check that I can probably sort stuff out and that any decision I make isn’t going to be so catastrophically disadvantage ds that it won’t all work out in the end . But why oh why does it all have to be so complicated

littleladsdad · 17/10/2018 09:05

crazy I know how hard it is doing it on your own. My first wife became ill after the birth of our daughter and I cared for her and brought up daughter on my own for 11 years. I also trained to be a teacher towards the end of this time - I have no idea now how I managed! I've now married again and have lovely ds. Life is most certainly easier with two, although my DW complains that I do everything, cooking, cleaning, organising etc. This is clearly as a result of my previous experience. It also explains why I feel happier on Mumsnet rather than Piston Heads or similar!

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