Should we let her give up?

[Meesh77]

DD2 is 9 years old. She’s been learning piano for two years and is working towards her grade 1.

Older sister also learns the piano. She had a few wobbles and wanted to give up when she was 10-11 but was persuaded to persevere and is glad she did.

My younger daughter is much less inclined to practice. She’s the same with homework - it’s like pulling teeth. They are basically very different children but with (I believe) similar ability. They differ in work ethic and perseverance.

DD2 wants to give up piano. She looks utterly fed up whenever she practices. Have discussed with the teacher, who feels she performs well in lessons and appears to enjoy them.

My inclination is to insist that she completes grade 1, which she has agreed to. She is a child who gives up when she feels challenged, unless it’s something she wants to do - in which case she is the most persistent child you can imagine.

I don’t want to teach her that it’s ok to give up when things get tough, but I also don’t want her to be miserable.

Ironically, the reason we ever considered piano lessons (which you will understand are not cheap, and have necessitated the purchase of a piano) is because DD2 was always very tuneful. She has always sung, and she sings beautifully. She has private lessons and the teacher agrees she has a lovely voice. She was very small when we first noticed this, hence we anticipated she might want music lessons and offered these to DD1 first when she got to the right age, just so that they were given the same opportunities.

It’s ironic really that DD1 has thrived whereas our ‘musical’ DD2 seems to hate it so much. I personally think it’s the discipline of it that she dislikes so much, however I think this is good for her (rather forgetful and chaotic) little mind and the teacher is a good role model.

Any thoughts?

How long has she been learning the piano for? What book does she use?

I’m hoping to do my grade one piano next year. What helped me was asking the teacher for advice on how to incorporate my personal learning style into the lessons.

Also I took a 4 week break from learning the piano over the summer holidays as well. That helped remind me why I wanted to do it in the first place.

Ask her if she prefers to have another teacher. Forget about taking piano exams. Just concentrate on getting the basic skills for now and then see what happens next. You might reconsider later on but for now you should offer her a chance to find a effective method.

Piano lessons need to be fun. Not a chore. One of my biggest weaknesses is lack of persistence. I dropped my writing lessons after several years because it was boring after a while. I was constantly working on the same thing over and over during the lesson.

It was hard work.

Thanks for your replies - really helpful and has given me plenty to consider. She has private singing lessons in a studio, which she adores - I’m old so I don’t know the artists she sings, but she’s working on ‘Titanium’ and a couple of other quite powerful songs. Spoke to her singing teacher tonight - he told her to get her grade 1. She came straight home and practiced because it seems to have clicked with her that the more she practices, the quicker she will get the grade. She was pleased at the idea of me framing a grade 1 certificate for her wall. There is hope yet, but she will certainly need a break won’t she ?

Yes, let her focus on her singing for now 1 she's only little and school and singing are plenty. If shem issues the piano you have one, she will know enough to play and you can give her the option of a teacher of her own rather than sisters later on

Agreed!!

A break may help, sometimes kids just start too young, have a couple of years off and then come back to it. Either way I would take a break from grades. Look for some of the 'very easy piano' books there are some good Disney ones. Be careful though some of the 'easy piano' are more suitable for grade 2+.

Theres a series of books/sheet music called 'big note' that she should find very approachable, too easy tbh but she probably needs that. She needs something that she can play very quickly and boost her confidence and enjoyment.

I hope this makes sense, I'm over tired and have had wine but am a piano teacher who seems to mop up many reluctant practicers, one of my early conversions is taking grade 8 next year.