September 2018 Music Thread

[folkmamma]

Hi all! Our lovely host Waffle is away at the moment and has asked me to start this months thread.

Here is a place for us to share stories, ask for advice, and generally support one another through our DCs (and in some cases our own!) musical journeys. All are very welcome, from the early beginners to the very advanced. Some people have been regular contributors for years, but we also have a lot of newcomers and love welcoming new contributors to the MN Music Thread team. I became aware of this group about 9 months ago via the NCO 2018 thread and I now spend more time here than on Facebook... .

Over here, I have Noo, just turned 11, violinist, violist and pianist. She is playing at aroud G7 standard on violin (first study) and is starting JD this month, eek!. Noo is also an associate member of NCO and this year joined the Pro Corda ensemble training programme, which she loves above all else! She is also very into musical theatre and regularly performs in professional and semi-professional shows - it is a challenge to juggle it all, but somehow we do. This month is a biggie for Noo as she starts secondary school as well as JD.

DD2 is Moll. 8yrs old and plays cello and piano. She is a very different kettle of fish to big sister - every bit as able, but some self esteem issues, together with a slightly quirky personality, mean her journey is not often quite so smooth (and mine completely turbulent!). Working towards G3 cello this term (although she doesn’t know it yet) and will go for a consultation at Noo’s JD sometime this term also.

I’m sure Waffle will drop in to update us on Goo, Rara and her own musical self once she gets back from holibobs.

Good luck to everyone with back to school, changes in school, new routines and audition prep! I predict September will be a busy month on the thread!

Over to you....

Patricks

I'm still trying to get the balance right now, and of course it changes as they change.
In the first couple of years we expected daily contact, even just 5 mins before bedtime.
Then it slackened off a bit and we had to start insisting again, now it's mostly daily and she usually calls.
If my 6th sense is aroused I'll call her if she hasn't done it by lights out.

Has he said he is tired? We got a message from girls house to say how tired they were and had to take so much in this first week, whether new or experienced boarder.
Mine reckons she's going to be fit for sleeping this weekend and not much more

As I said earlier, I can see your point, herts. But the word of 'child led' can be quite tricky. My parents didn't know I needed them. And I didn't know I needed them neither. I wasn't aware what I was missing. I could feel it but couldn't explain to myself nor others. I didn't know how to deal with my problems inside and didn't think of talking about it. For many people I was happy, outgoing, healthy child and the distance between my parents and me would be considered as 'child led'. But I would have been relieved if my parents knocked the door to see if I was really alright.

I think it depends on the child. Some want to be left alone but some appreciate more contacts. Ideally parents can 'sense' it (like Romany's sixth sense ) so can give them appropriate support as needed. I am trying to 'sense' it at least!!

Much easier day with smallest person today. We actually managed a constructive and enjoyable practice!! Change of focus really helped - she enjoyed playing her Popper study and it really boosted her confidence. We didn't worry too much about the technical stuff - I just need to get her playing again and enjoying it. Although because she was more relaxed the technique stuff was naturally better anyway. Just ordering some nice new books and hopefully she will enjoy choosing some new pieces from them and we will be away again. Although it could all change again tomorrow, so must not get too carried away...

Said goodbye to Noo's fabulous violin teacher last night. Tears were shed by both Noo and I. He has done great things with her. Still, her new adventure awaits and we go violin shopping on Saturday!! Excited!!

I totally agree with patricks

Sometimes it's fine to be completely child led in something, GCSE's are an example. You'd only step in if asked or they were making a huge mistake.
Whereas even at 14 and an experienced boarder I am in charge when it comes to contacting home, I let her speak freely and encourage her to talk if I sense something is wrong.
I'm not sure if this is right but she knows if we ever aren't satisfied with her explanation of why she doesn't sound/look right, we'll be at school in less than an hour.
We would too, as you need transparency from the kids when they board, it's safer too.

herts - absolutely there needs to be a balance, and I do appreciate that it is very difficult to supervise mobile access. In many ways, the old pay phone system was more practical! And I don’t envy boarding house parents having to deal with anxious parents.

On the other hand, children should be taught that refusing to return phone calls or respond to messages for days on end is inconsiderate, and should be dealt with like any other sort of minor rudeness. Teachers would not be impressed if a child declined to come to the staff room because they were too involved with some fun activity with their friends. It is not unreasonable to expect some form of communication between family members every couple of days. I expect DH to respond to my messages within a day or so, when he travels for business (within practical limits), and vice versa. And it was the same with DS2 at NCO.

According to DS's timetable, he has had his first 1-1 violin lesson today. Hope he survived!

folk, how exciting you are starting the hunting! Are you getting a bow together or just a violin first?

folk that’s wonderful! Tbh in the early/intermediate stages, string players get most of the technical practice they need from the repertoire. Well done for persisting!!

patrick for your difficult times.

Shhh...just mumbling it because the e-mail came through, and although I have texted him and he knows, he's not yet home, due to playing for a do at school tonight nosebleed boy got in to junior conservatoire jazz course

Can't

Congratulations, I bet he's over the moon.

Wonderful news, cant!

OK, got a few texts from DS. His first text said 'I'm a good boy'. So I wrote, 'I know you are, but why...? (expected he would say because he worked hard today or something)'. He replied 'because I wants to be'. ...alright. Then he finished off his text with 'I'm playing PS4 now '. WHAT?? Very confused...

Anyway, day 2 seems to have been done without any drama.... Phew.

Romany He might be a little cheerful......

Aw bless him, he'll have been working hard.
They are always doing something and PS4 is a very important part of it all.
The downtime is taken so seriously at dd school, I presume they will be similar in many respects.
They work exceptionally hard and when you get to know more you'll be surprised. Still have to be in Maths in the morning, whether you had the best concert ever the night before, or not. keeps them on their toes so they don't miss us. it's just us that worry so much

can't

This is the start now you know. There's no turning back.
Do you know even going into her fourth year I still find it difficult being so uninvolved (that's not a word) in her music.
It still seems strange not being much of a part of it anymore, I rarely have to make a decision about music, nor does dh really.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

patrick that type of message from DS (the good boy one) usually suggests that someone else is messing with his phone

for nosebleed boy

Thanks Romany.

This makes it all a bit more real. I suppose underneath it all, I've always been convinced that he'll audition for the BMus Jazz courses, get rejected from them all - because it just doesn't seem possible to me that he is good enough - and then settle down and do an academic degree in another subject.

He may still get rejected from all the courses, BUT he went to a completely serious audition at a serious conservatoire for the junior conservatoire, on recommendation of a tutor when he did a consultation lesson, and he got in.

So I will have to come to terms with the fact it MIGHT happen..mental adjustment required.

[Can you get imposter syndrome by proxy??]

That’s fantastic Can’t- well done to your ds! Amazing!!

Yes, being 'uninvolved' is a sad part of this whole wonderful thing (school). I liked taking DS to lesson and watch how he was learning. I think the world he was in was so new and fascinating to my unmusical brain (meaning no experience of learning instruments like him).

Very strange no one has touched our piano last few days. We have no violin in our home and his music stand has nothing on it. Feel so empty!

Then I got a text from DS asking me to get some music his teacher asked him to bring next time. So it's not that my involvement is completely dried up, luckily!

I was the same, cant. I was so convinced DS would be rejected when he tried jds. It looked so impossible and a way above where he was. Because of his age, his success with jd auditions didn't make me think of conservatoire or anything so I didn't need mental adjustment like you. But this time, I did need some sort of adjustment mentally!

Congratulations!

Lol can’t. I suffer from imposter syndrome with the choir! I think, in my case, it is to do with sounding like a broken washing machine when I attempt to sing (screeching and uncontrolled, in case you are wondering)

patrick. Looks like you aren’t going to be off the music mum hook for quite some years!

Lovely sympathetic WhatsApp messages from the other choir mums had cheered me up about the tour. DS2 and his y6 chorister friends are literally counting down the seconds (they worked it out!). So no problem from their end!

What's a simile! A broken washing machine?? Your imagination is superb, Taggie!

Ah excellent Can't! Well done to your DS.

to you Patricksviolin, you seem to be navigating this new journey really well. I bet minipatrick is loving it all. Children adapt so very quickly, wish it was so easy for us Mums

DD has decided to challenge my every word during practice today. My prediction of smooth sailing practices now that she has the new violin, were short lived. I'm going to give her the reigns abit more, I'll chip in where necessary but today's battle of wills is not to be repeated!

On a positive note, piano trial went well, so she is very excited to start lessons.

What a wonderful news Cant, many congratulations to your DS!