Hi all, this is a long one... Mainly it is about what is a good second instrument to take when violin is the main, and would cello not be suitable? And also, I am now having some second thoughts about this whole music thing with my daughter...
DD is turning 12 in Sept this year. She is now learning her Gr6 violin pieces. She started learning 4 years ago. Due to finances we cannot afford to have her learn a 2nd instrument. Due to finances also we chose not to have her do exams for each grade. She sat her G3 practical 2 yrs ago and got a distinction. She played Abrsm G4 songs at music festivals last year and got distinctions for them. She played Abrsm G5 songs at this years festival and again distinction. Then last month her teacher said she is ready to do G6 songs... Her previous teacher mentioned 2 years ago she could try for conservatoire when she’s old, but I’ve been speaking to other teachers who also say conservatoires these days are really tough to enter, so I’m not banking on it and neither is she though she seems keen. I think she’s good but don’t think she’s genius, iyswim. Or maybe that’s a way to console myself indirectly so I don’t feel too bad about not being able to give her what she needs to get the best musical education.. I looked at NCO but was put off by the price of the fees. No way we could afford it even if we had half of it subsidised. We don’t qualify for any benefits though and rent and don’t own assets. Trying to save for a house really. Been trying for the past 3years. We also have 2 other DCs whom we try and contribute towards their extracurricular activities so they don’t feel left out. I think maybe, just maybe, my daughter might have a chance at conservatoire. She’s not particularly academic, but she really loves the practical playing side. I heard they expect applicants to play 2 instruments. We do have a piano which my eldest plays. My daughter could play her Grade 2 songs by ear without any piano training, but when I ask her if she’d like to play piano as the 2nd instrument, she refuses and says she doesn’t really like it. She asked to learn cello instead. I’m not sure cello can be suitable for a 2nd instrument since she already has violin as her main. They’re both string instruments. And also I dread the idea of cost of buying the cello and the lessons. For piano we have a great experienced friend/teacher who teaches for a low price and she has been kindly teaching my eldest piano practical and teaching both daughters Theory G5 for the exams, at a very very low price. I couldn’t ask for more... just wish my daughter wasn’t so fussy, and yes she is in general a fussy kid. Fussy about food, fussy about clothes, fabrics, sounds... people... she refused to join the local children’s orchestra (which is cheap to join unlike the NCO) after a brief stint there, as she said many of the other kids play badly and it was torture for her to listen to it. I wish, so wish she wasn’t so difficult.
Would like to hear some words of advice or wisdom. Should I just throw in the towel with her and forget about trying to give her too much of what I’ve got? Say, let her continue with her once weekly 30 min violin lessons for the indefinite future - her violin teacher is also really a great friend/teacher who teaches for a really low price. Anyway I asked my daughter before if she’d rather have 1 hour lessons like her friends do, and anyway her violin teacher often overshoots the 30 mins and goes for 40 mins, but my daughter still says no, “1 hour is too long”. I really do wonder at times how serious (or not) she is at this. If not for the fact her violin teacher and my eldest daughter’s piano teacher have been really generous with time and money for these kids of mine, I really would think twice about supporting my kids through music education as it’s so expensive and yet from what I’ve seen, musicians don’t often get paid well. I myself was trained classically in piano (my parents were far more well off than me and my husband are) and although I love music myself, I would think twice about steering my kids towards that unless their passion for it overrules everything.
As of now, my daughter (the violin playing one) is apparently also passionate about all animals (joined the local free zoology club mailing list and coos and caws over ALL animals and MOST insects and says she wouldn’t even mind being a dog walker in future 😂 ) and once weekly ballet lessons (thankfully they are cheap too and no, she refused to do twice weekly ballet lessons as she said she “won’t have time for anything else she likes”)... as well as the violin and a million other things.
I am getting feedback from family and some mum friends who say I should stop her other stuff and get her to focus on the music aspect as that’s where the “money” would be at for her. So hard to know what to do as she isn’t some child you can force into anything. She is quite headstrong with me (but is shy, quiet and gentle with everyone else). I see the real her at home. I could fend off or avoid the people I don’t agree with but this music thing is eating at me. What if it’s my fault if she didn’t get a good music education?
So... what would you recommend I do? Just keep going as at present? And how about the 2nd instrument bit? Don’t force it to be piano? But then say no to cello also? I guess I would secretly like someone to say yes... because then I won’t be stressed out about the financial side of things if I don’t go ahead with this. Part of me believes in her having a free childhood to explore whatever is her interest, to the extent that she prefers. Ugh but in the music world, especially classical, it seems very competitive. I keep feeling like I’m not doing enough. My mum friends ask me would my daughter like to join their kids in these extra saturday classes run by Guildhall or these orchestra workshops that cost £70 for 5 days and I keep having to turn them down citing lack of money or time. I feel like I’m not able to do enough, and not sure if whatever I’m doing for my kids is enough. Now her violin teacher is telling me it would be good for her to play in orchestras for the experience. I am already stressing about when her teacher asks me to buy her a full size violin and spending the most money I could. I was shocked my friends were all paying £500 to £1000 for their kids first full size violin. And yet here my daughter is just playing a 2nd hand Stentor student violin that cost us £80 😩 My husband says buy it on credit card and slowly pay it off... last thing I want is debt..