July Music and Musicians Thread

[Wafflenose]

Welcome to wet July (well it's wet here) and a new thread. This is the place where we can talk about all things musical, like music lessons, exams, practice and new instruments. I am a music teacher (woodwind) and have two daughters. Goo is 10 and her first instrument is recorder, although on paper, flute has now caught up. She plays flute in NCO Under 11s, has just received the difficult bits she's meant to work on, so is finally cracking on with sorting out her piccolo. She started piano lessons at Easter and is going fast, currently playing Grade 3 pieces, and working through the Grade 2 sight reading and Dozen a Day books. Rara is 8 and far less keen - we are still currently trying to figure out what she really enjoys so that we can encourage her. But for now, she's learning the recorder and cello, and is between Grade 2 and 3 on both.

Goo did her flute exam on June 23rd, and now won't have any until at least March, or next June if I can push for that. Rara will probably do Grade 3 Recorder at Christmas. I have had a quiet exam term for my pupils - 7 altogether. 4 are already safely through (3 merits and a distinction), we are awaiting results for a Grade 6 Theory, and I have a couple of clarinettists still to go on Monday.

Huge fan of this group and has benefited a lot. DS( 10 Yrs ) started Piano exactly 2 years ago and did grade-1 theory in May and hopefully would be doing Grade-2 Piano Nov-Dec 2016. He has been learning Grade 2-3 songs for quite sometimes now and also learned Guitar for almost 6-8 months but I made him gave up Guitar as he had no time to practice. He plays Tennis, basketball and in Year-6 so studies are also more now. I want him to do Grade-5 Piano in next 2 years before studies takes over.
I just love hearing progress of Goo, Rara, Jr fleur, Jr greenleave and couple of others musically gifted children and their progress and it keeps on motivating me.

I like this group as we all know what our children and we, parents, are going through, tantrums, practicing refusals, exam nerves, sucesses ans what they cost, etc - we all speak the same language basically.
A bit of Saturday mourning... Had a RL conversation the other day...This lady's dc have school music lessons, and are taught in small groups. One is about to drop after one year. She said to me - just relax and let your dd practice when she feels like that. I said, yes...but.... all children have their moments but if they are doing music seriously (half of her life in our case) it is not that easy... they need support and encouragement and parents participation as it is not an easy journey but very rewarding too.... My dd really loves music as a leisure activity, she likes just playing her own tunes, improvising, playing by ear, etc, she even plays in aural test with her toys, but she would not be able to enjoy it if she was not given the appropriate skills to do it. The reply was- no, should not be like that, if she does not want to practice don't make her and if she wants to play she can always learn it later in life when she feels like that ... Yes, she has a point but it is so much easier to learn when you are a child, you have less problems and stress, more time to learn and to practice, you have all these opportunities like concerts and children's orchestras where you can meet other musical children and it is basically more fun! Grrrr.... Just immediately thought of this group and that we don't need to explain it all to each other!

oops, moaning not mourning of course

Only key thing was that the other DC dropped out after a year! Mine wouldn't have kept going so long without some gentle nudging and reminders and the threatened loss of computer time. I am always so glad of these threads!
And yes you can pick up again later but it's much harder.
Feel sorry for me. I have a sore throat and cold and about 5 hours of concerts to sit through today!

Thanks Alexandra! I may need those!
I'll probably be distracted by worrying that DS2's concert trousers are too short!

Well, it's a fine line between nagging as a pushy parent and encouraging.
I have 3dc and they are all different.
with dc1 I have stopped nagging, have no idea how much he practises (electric guitar but plays without amplifier, so with my deaf ears and closed doors, I can't really hear much). I only know he doesn't want to give up lessons despite me asking repeatedly. He must get some enjoyment out of it so I let him be.
dc2; needs nagging/threatening, but she does realise the benefits of my nagging
dc3: doesn't need nagging, but just encouragement.

I only nag when DD has made a commitment and isn't capable of fulfilling it without practice. No nagging re tonight's gultar show as I know she will be fine. Lots of nagging re the piano audition because agreeing to play Chopin at your first ever performance in front of anyone but your teacher and your mum is a big ask ... She could have said no if she didn't want to be nagged ;)

Ah, thank you ladies, you see, you immediately understood....
exampanic, I agree with you too, but what you described does not sound to me as being pushy, you just use whatever works the best to each of your dc. But children are children-they are not mini adults...But it feels like wherever child does not drop after an year non music parents immediately see it as pushy parents situation. I never ever discussed music lessons with non music parents it was literally first time I did it, silly me :). And the reason I am steaming off here is that in the conversations like that you either strongly disagree and upset the other person, or you pretend that you agree and get upset yourself. So, I was like-yes... I have to let her decide if and when she wants to practice and if she does not want practicing just drop never mind that she does not want to stop lessons but there is no way I pay all that money for the lessons if she does not practice. Grrrrr!

Mistigri I sometimes have a feeling that most of them (dc) feel they need that nagging! Dh sometimes gets cross with me when I nag him to do smth but when he is in a good mood he always says-good that you nagged me otherwise I would never did it .
But I truly don't see nagging as a pushing...I need a lot of nagging myself but unfortunately there is no one to do it :)

Loose: hope you feel better real soon. We had mozart concert the other night, it was lovely, only couple of hours, we know we should do more.
Only: I am a master of silent nagging. My trick is never shout. Let them win some short moments, its a long game and they can feel like they win all the times and it doesnt mean they get what they want.

My daughter failed her swimming test a couple of terms ago and from that term I insisted to take her to swimming(the same game in terms of nagging my husband hahaha). Now why she failed, because my husband used to bring her to every lesson late and she was more looking forward to the sausages and hot chocolate in the pool canteen after each lesson. We go swimming together on Sunday but she was more playing in the babies pool with her sister. I find its important to know to swim well and at early age. I bring her 20 mins early and in the pool with her. We stay 20mins later too. Sunday swimming, 3-5 laps each style before fun time. Couple of weeks before the test. We take couple swimming evenings too. She just passed her test this morning, and also last term. I dont think she will ever fall swimming again(there is only the last grade next term before she can move into anything serious).

With music, we are still in the very early days and with this super active child I set her a goal(and I know her even better than I know myself). We have guests today for picnic then bbq, when I left the house for some shopping this afternoon I just mentioned: all guests would like to hear a "complete sight read" fur Elise. Then after nearly an hour I git home then someone is still playing(now I have to make sure she is allowed to play later to keep her motivation). Yes, I think its important to nag, or more close support them. My game is to make them feel like I dont actually care and I dont nag.

Just another example regarding to reading. She didnt read well in reception, she didnt read too well in year 1. Then I realised she needs to read. Then our house fills with book. I set a budget each week. I buy the most recommended one, only the hard cover ones. Until she likes it and really into it. Now I get the second hand from library, charity shops, anything. She is now a book worm she reads everything and her reward is her reading time. I think its all because for a year I had encouraged her earlier.

Its a long long game. Coming is 11+ then gcse the A level. I cang say for sure how I could manage it, will have to learn from you all and everyone here. One thing for sure I will always be close and help her

Alexandra: wonderful results!!!

Great results Alexandra!

Thanks for the new thread, waffle, I'm just checking in.

Congratulations to everyone with great results! I'm going slightly mad still waiting for DD's G1 clarinet exam date - w/c 18th July is still all we know.

She's getting a bit tired of repeatedly practising the same three pieces, so I've backed off from nagging her to practice, must remember to get at it again in a week or so :o

Alexandra congratulations!
Re supporting:
Was reading bio of Spanish footballer yesterday. Broke his leg at 4, father forced him to keep kicking with the other and threw him balls to the healthy leg while the other was in plaster! He was 4 years old! So he became ambidextrous. Wanted to give up at 14, father didn't let him. Ended up winning a world cup..

drummersmum, ha-ha, I bet everybody would say that this father did an excellent job! But try to say - I do this with my dc - you will be labelled pushy parent immediately!

Alexandra fantastic result, well done!

I think I could be lablled as a pushy parent by some and too relaxed by others. I know a DC my DDs age who doesn't have an hour free in her schedule. On Saturday she goes to her mother's tongue school where she studied all the academic subjects in her mother's language, that is 9 till 3. Then she plays tennis, twice a week, she does another two sports and an instrument. On top of that she does extra maths given by her mother at home or on the go.

Now by that mother, and indeed the father told me so, I am too relaxed and expect nothing from my DC. And from my point of view she is what I would class a pushy parent.

Then I know quite a few parents at my Dd's school who would class me as pushy, they were amazed DD plays an instrument, now are amazed she is picking up a second besides two sports and not once I heard the phrase "oh no, I don't want my kids to do extra stuff, school is enough, I want them to enjoy their childhood". Like I am somehow a slave driver and my DD doesn't enjoy her childhood.

DD enjoys her music, when she plays I can see her becoming this "thing" that I don't recognise, strong and dedicated. She has her moments and yes in those moments I need to remind her why she needs to practice, to remind her the goal she sign up to, then we're back on track.

Alexandra lovely results. Well done to your DC

Back from concerts and realised I had missed Alexandra's fab news on results - big congratulations! Those are excellent results!

Oops, so did I! Congratulations to Alexandra's ds - fantastic results!

Alexandra - wow great results!

I also am a mix of nagging and laid back; this morning have listened to an hour of DD practicing unprompted as she must have woken up with something in her head she wants to solve; other days I feel like the worst shouty mom 😕

Sunshine returned today; 5 concerts/performances before the holidays!

I can only nag so much. I will have to chivvy DS2 today but he did play through his pieces yesterday and the glitches seem to have more or less gone from the last piece he learned!

Alexandra congratulations to your DS :)

We had our end of year guitar school concert last night. I must have played OK because both teens were still speaking to me afterwards . DD's group was far and away the tightest/ best technically, they sounded like pros. And I discovered that DD although she would call herself a rhythm guitarist is also a pretty good soloist.

I going to try to set myself some goals for the holidays - learn some more guitar scales for a start. I've borrowed DD's book of grade 4-6 piano music and I'm going to choose a couple of pieces to learn. There is a movement from one of the Viennese sonatinas which looks about the right level (grade 5 ish).

Received an email this morning for the first distinction in music. Thanks everyone for your support. We are on the way to Hamleys for a treat now!