May/ June Music and Musicians Thread

[Wafflenose]

Welcome, everyone. I can't believe we need a new thread already, but I'm delighted that they now seem so popular!

I'm Waffle, I'm a music teacher and I have two daughters - Goo (10) who plays the recorder, flute, piccolo (a bit) and started the piano a month ago, and Rara (8) who isn't as musically inclined but plays the cello and recorder. She is plodding (very) slowly towards Grade 3 on both.

We're going on holiday this weekend, so will have to have a good read when I get back. For now, I'll wind the thread up and let it do its stuff.

teacher that's brilliant
cote love your playing, please post more!
drummersmum he'll be fine! Good plan to do the exams in year 10. I think he will love the challenge.
Think DS1 will do his grade 5 theory and grade 6 bass in year 10 but I am not encouraging any other exams! Would love for him to do grade 8 drum kit the year after but he has to actually want to do the exam.

Fleur DS2 skipped Grade1 and 2 and did Grade 3 after 1 year on trombone. DD skipped G1, much more interesting pieces more quickly. She'll be bored with G1 by November. Couldnt the teacher do a mock test with a Certificate? And spend exam money on new music?

Teacher thats great!

I posted upthread congratulating exam results, but it's not posted.very well done to all

Hope theory went well yesterday for those involved.

Thanks for the congratulations! DS is very, very chuffed

My diary may just explode, what with him and 12-hours-a-week dancing DD....

Very well done to him! Good luck coordinating everyone.

Goo had her South West Music School re-audition today, and was very pleased with how she did. There was a flautist on the panel (same as last year) who says she has improved, so that's good. She played 'Prawn Paella' by Alan Bullard on the recorder and 'Chanson de Matin' by Elgar on the flute - both Grade 6, as I find it pays to play something comfortable for things like this. We employed the official accompanist (in fact, I was asked to stay on and do some accompanying, but that's another story! - I politely declined) and she came out and asked when Goo's exam was. We told her this Thursday, and she said, "Well, I think that's going to go very, VERY well!" This kind of thing gives Goo so much confidence - her confidence is very fragile and she also looks and acts like a gawky adolescent right now, in the way she holds herself, bumps into things and goes all shy - she never used to be shy! So I think it has helped her to perform one of her exam pieces, and I have everything crossed for Thursday.

Wafflenose, oh, Goo such a lovely girl, beautiful, talented-no reason to be shy!

Good point Raspberry I'll have to wait and see where she is by November and talk to the teacher then, if she believes that she is grade 1 then take the exam, if she is over that level I'll suggest wait till the summer session next year and see where she is then, March/April session is planned for piano exam so I'd rather keep them separate.

Waffle Goo sounds like such a rounded musician, I am sure she's becoming a lovely teenager, the shyness is probably just being modest about her achievements which is a great skill to have.

Good luck Goo! Sounds like it went really well. Congratulations!

Small piece of advice required, anybody having competitive friends in RL? The type of "my DC is better than yours?" Or "oh yes, we're doing that also but so much better!". Comparing grades, results, minimising achievements. Don't know how to react anymore really...

Great to hear about Goo, all the best this Weds.
I had a FB status about my daughter on Sunday about her theory exam, then you can see mixed of responses. Many supporting, couple are bitter and comparing, its a fun game to watch. Dont take it by heart Fleur, look into the positive, fun side. I do learn alot from all very "competitive" parents that they work hard, they support and maximise their children well. I although keep distance to many friends who say their children are naturally gifted and dont share experience, especially my native country friends who I was hoping could share more so we all benefit from everything we know, some are actually lying. The reason I started looking at mumsnet around end of last year was due to worrying having no idea about 11+, how to prepare for it, how to support my daughter as all my friends dont share. There is a silent competition among us whose children are doing the best, its awful. I think I find all the info I need here. I also stopped using FB for months, even in the past I occasionally updated about the children so friends, family and relative living in a far distance would know them and know their life

Fleur - just smile and disengage :)

Waffle - DD swings between approaching things like Goo or being CE being completely calm and quiet; for DD she has to feel in control and meeting her own standards - when she feels rock solid (like her JD audition) she doesn't even engage us in the prep process; when she is less sure (but not necessarily less ready at all) we tiptoe as the melodrama is ....ummmm.....interesting (and v tiring!!). They are musiciansand they processing it all the time - and we mere mortals will rarely get it right :) 😕

Well don't to all who took theory and for all other results;

I've done my best to disengage for years now. The girls go to the same school and the other one has started piano earlier than my DD. I've had such comments like "oh my DD feels a bit down that your DD took grade 3 piano before her".

Their DD just started doing exams as they didn't want any before, she's doing grade 3 now (a session later than DD) and it seems that I should have waited for theirs to be grade 3 before allowing mine to take the exam.

Oh and also DD doesn't talk about music with their DD, or anybody else, some kids were surprised she plays when she did the school concert as she doesn't talk about it. So when I have been asked what level DD is at months ago I just said she's taking grade 3 in March so the parents must have told their DD about it, not my DD showing off.

They're having an activity in common at the weekend so I get to see them every weekend. The conversation is either music related when the above statement was made (their DD not being happy with mine taking the exam before them) or academics where their DD is indeed the best in their class (academically) therefore it gets mentioned in a "well anyway I told my DD not to forget she is top in her class" (so therefore superior to my Dd's piano playing).

Oh and apparently DD is not really grade 3 as she didn't achieve a distinction.

See what I mean? I feel like cancelling my Dd's activity as I can't go through another conversation like this. Which I won't, I think I will lock myself in the toilet next weekend until the said parent has left.

I was going to say the same - just don't engage! For various reasons I have felt unable to talk much about Goo since Reception, so most of the time nobody has a clue what she can do. In fact, this morning I was explaining to another parent that I have to take Goo out of a special science day later in the week to do a music exam, then she asked which exam, and was gobsmacked when I said Grade 6. We know so many exceptional children that it seems normal in our world (NCO etc) but it's not normal in our village!

Musicmom, yep, melodrama here all right! Fleur she is only 10, but just looks... gawky. Utterly awkward right now. She's all arms and legs and teeth right now (braces), is just coming into puberty and seems a lot less sure of herself than she used to.

Fleur cross post. There was a parent like that with a boy in Goo's class. At every party or curriculum night, she was on my case, going on about reading levels, test results etc. I did my best to not give anything away, but in the end she became very odd. A few months ago, she came over to me saying "Gooey (so not quite her real name!) did really well in the maths test, didn't she? She and my son were the only ones in the year to get full marks!" I knew nothing about this, so said, "Oh, what maths test?" and let her witter on. Then Goo came out of school, and I asked her on the way home if she'd had a test. Apparently not - it was all fabricated by the mother! Anyway, I knew for a fact that the two kids weren't even in the same group for most subjects - she was generally ahead of him, although he was and is good at maths. He has left the school now though, and nobody else seems to know or care how my kids are doing!

They seem to think that their DD has right of way due to being older (their DD is a winter kid while DD is summer born) and because she started piano at 4 compared with DD at 6. Academically yes their algorithm works, their DD is top of the class but my DD is not behind, she is still doing really well but not top of the class, she wouldn't be anyway as she is an introvert and rarely actively shows what she knows but yes, indeed their DD is top and I haven't got a problem with it, there is enough place under the sun for both of them.

I am trying to talk about the weather or anything else but it is becoming so annoying when somebody brags about their DC and considers yours inferior. I don't even want them to acknowledge Dd's achievements, just to back off, I am worried what their DD may say to my DD in private.

Waffle in your findings what are the best reeds for clarinet? DD has the 1.5 Rico ones but if there are better ones out there please let me know.

Fleur - if the friendship is real and important, I tackle it head on but nice,y of course; if it's a relationship I want to keep but not super close! Make a joke of it and move the topic on - every time if necessary and the behaviour stopped. Do t to drop the activity - if nothing e,she works, and you can't just humm your way through it, sit in the car :)

We are in a super competitive (parents) school/area and some of the behaviour is interesting....our last festival, one mom didn't pick up he certificate for her dd's second place, but did pick up her first place certificate.....

Fleur - vandoreen for DD, 2.5 now; try a few as you can buy sing,y or some shops let you try

1.5 perfect for now, and Rico fine. Vandoren are expensive, and I doubt she'd really notice the difference at this stage. (I use a very fancy sub-type of Vandoren, 3.5, nearly £30 a box!)

Thank you all, I realise it is just a rant here as it isn't probably much I can do, I wouldn't cry loosing the "friendship" but I don't want to spend the next two years not being able to say hello, plus the other parents would probably hear of the conflict... Hopefully the Dd's will part their ways at secondary, only two years left . If DD does achieve grade 5 piano next year God help us!

Thanks for the reeds advice, I'll order some vandoreen next time just to trial but I am sure DD will not see a difference just yet. Good to know Rico are just fine.

I encountered some real nastiness when Goo was little - to cut a long story short, someone sent me a bitchy text about myself and her - it was destined for a mutual friend but sent to me in error. There was never an apology, I kept bumping into the woman, who refused to speak to me, and at one point there was a huge army of her friends not speaking to me either. Our crime was letting Goo start school able to read, oh the scandal! (As things turned out, Rara was better at it!)

Gosh Waffle that is outrageous! Why do some people need to be so competitive? In the end Goo didn't learn how to read early with a detrimental effect to the other DC. It is like me stating now how dare the other DC be top of their class. It isn't my problem or theirs, I know she does a lot of extra maths at home, her parents tell me about it, I have chosen not to do much extra at home with DD nobody is right or wrong. They concentrate on academics, I decided DD has a musical inclination and supported her that way. My DD doesn't take anything away from their DD, same as their DD is not stopping mine to be top of her class if she wanted to put in the work.

Fleurdelise I have such (competitive) friends! Grrrrr! And I truly know what sort of level all our children, but it drives me mad!

I was shy to start with, but developed a social phobia and became terrified of going out. 5 years on, I'm at least 50% better, but still don't like people very much!

I have another problem with competitive mums... mine is truly ahead in many areas and when someone tells me proudly "my dc knew all multiplication table at 9yo" and I am thinking "should I tell her that mine knew it at 6 or should I just smile?". I learned to smile now....
And I read a good piece of advice here on MN. If someone says "oh, your dd is good at x" I try to answer "but they all have their strengths, don't they?" :)
However it is close friends who are the problem... They know that my dd is good at certain areas and they always try to prove that their dc are as good... But I don't need that competition! I know that certain things are achievable but there are things which she was born with. Ah, I learned to avoid such conversations but still get into it from time to time.....

I'm thankful that we are past the reading level business. DS2 somehow managed to sneakily teach himself to read, to the surprise of everybody. Nursey said well done to me and I said thank you to them at the same time. Luckily they were very supportive. I don't tell anyone else what else he could do ...

Though today if anyone asked me I would say that they are welcome to a pair of tiresome quarrelsome children ...