Ballet, shall I just let her quit?

[AWimbaWay]

My 7 year old daughter has been taking ballet, tap and modern dance classes for 3 years, she has always really enjoyed and looked forward to them.

In May this year she was chosen to take an extra ballet class with two others her age as the teacher felt she showed potential, she has just received distinction in her primary ballet exam, these pupils will get the opportunity to audition for the Royal Ballet Associates next year.

Before the summer she seemed to enjoy her classes and was excited at the prospect of next years audition. This morning out of the blue she has asked if she can stop the extra classes. She said she doesn't enjoy them.

I think she's tired, she does do too much, she does swimming, gymnastics and Brownies along with the dancing. She doesn't want to stop Brownies or Gymnastics, giving up swimming isn't an option as I see that as a necessity.

So, shall I just accept that she's just not that bothered about the dancing so it would be silly to push her. She would still be able to do her normal class. It just seems to be a shame to waste a natural talent, her teacher is always saying how gifted she is but I really don't want to be a pushy Mother!

I suppose my thinking is to get anywhere in dance you have to be really passionate and committed don't you? So if she's not it would be silly to force it, I just worry she'll regret it in a couple of years.

I think that at 7, ballet, tap, modern dance, gymnastics, swimming and Brownies is far too much!

But I wouldn't drop the ballet just yet if she is really talented.

I agree Bonsoir, it's trying to persuade her to drop one of the others.

I'm paid up for the extra class until half term now anyway, so I think I'll say she has to continue until then and we'll see how she feels before they start up again.

As an ex Royal Ballet School pupil myself many many years ago, I think that even if she is really talented there is no need for her to do 2 ballet classes a week when she is 7 and in grade 1.

My eldest daughter is 7, she took her grade 1 and got distinction in July, she has been asked if she would like to do 2 grade 2 ballet classes a week, she doesn't want to, and I don't see it as a problem right now. She is also a member of a swim club and swims 50 lengths twice a week, and does an hour of gymnastics. I said if she wanted to do 2 ballet she should stop gymnastics, she chose not to.

Thank you ThoughtsPlease, that's good to know, I'd hate it if she decided down the line she did want to pursue it further but it be too late.

I have a 7 year old son. He is very talented, and just to give you an idea, he does two grade 1 ballet classes a week, plus street jazz, modern, greek, song and dance, tap and body conditioning.

Our school insists on two ballet classes a week in the run up to an exam. He is taking grade 1 in December. He got distinction in primary this time last year. He has just successfully auditioned for his first panto, and will be auditioning for the JA program when he is old enough (next school year, he was only 7 last week).

His older sister, 10, does 5 ballet classes a week, plus modern, tap, jazz, street jazz, Classical Greek, tap, song and dance, body con and anything else that comes up! We didn't audition her for JAs as she isn't the right child child for that. It would bore her going back to basics. She is currently studying at Interfoundation level and is taking her grade 5 exam in November. (For ballet). She got distinction in her last exam.

My younger daughter is 4. She also does two ballet classes a week plus Greek, modern and song and performance.

If your daughter doesn't want to do the extra class then I would say she is not that into her dancing and maybe shouldn't be pushed into JAs. she may change her mind, but for my children dance has always been at the forefront of their lives. Everything else goes by the wayside.

I knew a girl at The Royal Ballet School, who gave up ballet for a while, I think when she was about 7 or 8, then she went back to it, later after years at The Royal Ballet School, she joined The Royal Ballet Company.

I disagree that a child is not really into it just because at 7 they may not want to do 2 ballet classes a week. Perhaps in the run up to an exam 2 classes, although my just turned 7 year old got distinction for her grade 1 only doing 1 class a week.

I think if she doesn't want to do 2 it really doesn't matter now, her other activities will help with strength and co-ordination etc.

Sparkly- Just out of curiosity, why greek?

Classical Greek is beautiful! And very creative and free. My kids love It and we happen to be at a dance school that has a teacher who is very high up in the Classical Greek faculty.

It's not plate smashing. It's a bit like ballet, telling stories (usually from Greek mythology). And "being" the elements. It's just something my children adore, and helps with ballet, even though it doesn't use the turnout needed for ballet.

thoughtsplease I agree with you that at seven they may give up and come back to it. In my experience though, children need to start young in the dance industry, and most who succeed are quite intensely trained.

Well, she's just come out of ballet tonight saying she does want to continue after all . This was with no pushing from me, I'd told her it was up to her, so I guess we'll wait and see. I think I'll be more reluctant for her to audition for the JA next year now though, it's a lot of commitment both in time and financially if she really isn't that interested.

You may find that with doing two classes a week she becomes more enthusiastic. My oldest often has a wobbly and tells me she is doing too much. But when we say cut down she invariably ends up doing more because she couldn't possibly give any up and she realises there is a class she hasn't tried yet!!!! Just play it by ear and see how she feels in a few months.

Thanks Sparkly. It's funny you should mention yet more classes, I didn't say earlier that my daughter also plays the drums, this is during school hours so not such an issue, but she came home today asking if she could join the percussion band, I have said no!

My ds went to the royal ballet school too.
He did two ballet a week before he went and all other dancing disciplines but he loved it and never asked to stop.
He did no other hobbies so wAsnt too bad.
Dd isn't as talented but is good and I've said no to two classes so she can do other stuff.
It's. great hobby which can lead to other stuff bit if say keep it in perspective, if they are good they will do well regardless.

sparkly, how on earth do you fit it all in? Genuine question, what's the timetable for all of the, look like?
My DC is a toddler and does lots of classes but that's easy as I only have him, and he has no school.

*for all of them...

It's not easy! Lol.
Dh finishes work at 3pm during the week to help.

Monday - DD1 has street 4pm-4:30pm
DS1 & DS2 have street 4:30pm-5pm. Then we take the boys home and DD1 stays at the studios for body con and ballet (Inter foundation). Dh picks her up at 8pm. She has tea at the studios.

Tuesday - only DD1 dances. She starts at 4:45pm and has modern grade 4, jazz and a student class that is about fulfilling potential and learning a variety of different things. This finishes at 8pm. Dh drops off and picks up.

Wednesday - all children at dance. Three youngest start with Classical Greek 4pm-4:30pm. Ds2 and Dd2 then have ballet (primary) 4:30pm-5pm. Ds2 has ballet 5-5:45 and the little ones eat tea between classes. Dd1 has ballet 5:45pm-7:45 (grade 5 and Interfoundation class). She also eats at the studios. I work in the office this night too!!!! Dh takes three little ones home at 5:45 and then collects dd1 when she is finished.

Thursdays - currently no dancing but dd1 has been having 11+ tuition 4-5pm (stopping next week) followed by singing 6-6:30pm. After the 11+ she is looking at adding an Intermediate ballet class on this evening after her singing lesson til 8pm.

Fridays - Dd2 and Ds1 have modern 4-4:30pm. Then dd1 has Greek 4:30-5:15pm. Ds1 then has tap 5-5:30pm and all three do song and dance 5:30-6pm. Then we bring the little ones home and dd1 stays on for a group rehearsal and tap, finishing at 7:30pm when dh picks her up.

Saturday - I work in the office and dd1 comes with me at 9am, when she starts with an Interfoundation class. My Stepfather brings three little ones at 10am when dd2and ds2 do ballet (primary) and then he takes them home. Ds1 stays with me and has ballet (grade 1) and body conditioning. Dd1 has grade 5 and body conditioning as well as then in the afternoon they rehearse festival groups until 4 most weekends, five or six some weekends!

Sundays - usually pretty clear unless there are other rehearsals or new dances to learn. Then I hire the village hall for an hour so that they can all run through their festival solos. (Dd1 has 9!)

On top of this dd1 has a part in a local variety show approx two nights a month feb- oct. and then we have panto!!!

It's crazy but we do manage. And I read a bedtime story to the little ones every night, they are bathed nightly and dd1 showers every morning before school. I am lucky in that we live with my mother and her partner so we manage quite well with childcare. They have never known any different and would be bored without it!

Homework is usually done on the evening it is set too. Dd1 takes hers to do between classes or does it on a Sunday morning. Ds1 is very contientious and wants it done ASAP. They all read to me nightly, before bathtime, and I read to them after bathtime (except dd1).

My daughter did ballet until she was 8, and we moved abrad. Couldnt find a suitable class there, so she switched to Irish dancing for a while. When we came back 3 years later, she took up ballet again (aged 11-12). Ok she was catching up a bit - but she did, aced all her exams, and is now going into her second year at London Contemporary Dance School.

So for your girl, I'd say 7 is still quite young, and she can pick it up again later.

BUT

only if she's really passionate about it.

Do they get to see friends and go to parties and all that?

Sounds like they love it, though. They're lucky to have you sorting it all out for them :-)

Yes, parties have to be factored in too. Next weekend we have three to attend!

Sparkly, I am in awe! I think it's great! DS is three and currently does nine classes, but like I said, no school to contend with, and just him, so it's easy! I did loads as a child and I think it did me the world of good.
I am impressed with how you juggle it all. As long as they are happy.

Having done what sparkly does with ds who danced pro for a bit but is now a chef I am taking it much easier with dd1 we do festivals but just groups no solos and I keep it very much on perspective.
Dd2 started today though and she's 2.5 bless her, so I may have years ahead. My problem is fitting it all in as well as work but I need to work to pay the fees!!

Oh yes and we just found out she got into panto so that Xmas spent taking her to the theatre.
But she loves it.

I have two In panto this year. Different pantos.

I. Must. Be. Bloody. Crazy!!!!