Ballet, shall I just let her quit?

[AWimbaWay]

My 7 year old daughter has been taking ballet, tap and modern dance classes for 3 years, she has always really enjoyed and looked forward to them.

In May this year she was chosen to take an extra ballet class with two others her age as the teacher felt she showed potential, she has just received distinction in her primary ballet exam, these pupils will get the opportunity to audition for the Royal Ballet Associates next year.

Before the summer she seemed to enjoy her classes and was excited at the prospect of next years audition. This morning out of the blue she has asked if she can stop the extra classes. She said she doesn't enjoy them.

I think she's tired, she does do too much, she does swimming, gymnastics and Brownies along with the dancing. She doesn't want to stop Brownies or Gymnastics, giving up swimming isn't an option as I see that as a necessity.

So, shall I just accept that she's just not that bothered about the dancing so it would be silly to push her. She would still be able to do her normal class. It just seems to be a shame to waste a natural talent, her teacher is always saying how gifted she is but I really don't want to be a pushy Mother!

Sparklymommy were you a dancer as a child? Where has it all come from?

I did a little dance. But not to the extent that my children do. I wasn't that good! I don't really know where it comes from. Dd1 started baby ballet when she was 2, did her first "solo" part at 3 and started festivals at 3. Ds1 was 20 months when he started (purely because he was there anyway). He also had his first cameo at 3 and first festival solo at 3. Ds2 is less into it (more concerned with being cool). He gave up for six months last year but started again after watching his brother and sisters in the annual show. He has also recently asked for a solo and dd2 is just amazing. She has copied her big sister since before she could walk and at four now she has already been placed 2nd at a few festivals.

They all appear to have been bitten by the bug at a relatively young age. And they know nothing else really. Dance is as natural to them as eating/sleeping and breathing.

I agree with the others who say that's she's young, don't push her too much, she can always pick up more later.

My DD (almost 10), has danced since she was 2. One hour a week of ballet and modern. She was asked when she was younger to do festival dancing. She wasn't interested. She's always got distinctions in all of her exams, but never wanted to do more than her hour a week. Until now. Suddenly, she's decided she wants to take her ballet a bit more seriously and do more. So she is. She did well in her last ballet exam and is now off to her first competition (the ISTD ballet awards) next month. She's never done more than an hour of dancing a week, and didn't even take the extra ballet lessons to get her ready for the exam (we couldn't fit them in). Instead, she had two little sessions with the teacher to get her ready.

Suddenly, she's now really into her ballet and wants to do more. I think if I had forced her to do more when she was younger, she would have given up completely. Also, with ballet, they don't really do much when they're younger, and so DD found it a bit too slow (compared to her first love, gymnastics). However, now she's older, she has calmed down somewhat and the ballet is more interesting, she is really developing a love for it.

Be guided by your daughter, so long as she keeps her hand in, I was always told that she could pick up more later, it's not like the gym where they have to do it early*

*I am no expert in this, but this is just what I was told!

Thank you lade and everyone, some good advice, I'll follow her lead.

What are festivals/festival dancing?

Think toddlers and tiaras with dancing!!
Only people who think they are important are the parents and teachers.
Dd did lots of them but when he auditioned for parts he was never asked about them.
It's good performance experience I guess but ghastly unless you keep your head and your child's feet firmly planted.

Have not seen toddlers and tiaras, so still feeling a bit clueless, but thanks anyway! :)

Dd has just started at a full time dance school (one of the big four but not RBS)

She never did JA's either (wrong body type she's more MT

She probably didn't do enough classes in the run up to going to school and we had to have done intensive privates to get her up to scratch

The difference between my dd us thank like sparklys performing arts is all she does. She doesn't do any sport etc just drama, singing & various firms of dance
There are plenty of children who dsnce(sometimes at a high level) for enjoyment.

JA's & the more serious programmes require a level of dedication & wanting to do nothing else that done children arnt interested in.

That's it exactly pictures. My dc live at the dance school (almost literally!)

We started doing festivals for performance oppurtunity and I would agree with the poster who says they aren't that important. Festivals are competitions where dancers wear costumes and dance against other children in their age group for medals/cups.

They are great for giving performance experience, and after all dance is a performance art. The also give dancers the "edge" in my experience. They learn stage presence, and most kids I know that dance at festivals are successful at panto/show auditions because they are generally more confident and comfortable performing.

They count for little in the grand scheme of things, but my children enjoy them as they meet up with friends from other dance schools, get to dance (solos, duets, groups) on a stage In full costume and (occasionally) win a trophy too.

I completely agree with all the comments about festivals and performance experience etc, but I believe that if it is ballet, JAs and RBS you are looking at, then a child is either right for it or not.

Having looked further in to the JAs I don't think it's a path I want my daughter to go down. The local classes would be in Leeds, this is fine, but they stop at age 10. If she was still interested and doing well at this point it would then mean travelling a very long way or (obviously would be extremely lucky to be accepted anyway) boarding somewhere. I know I could never send her away to boarding school so I'm starting to think it would just be silly to even head down that route.

Would doing JAs until 10 then just going to a local ballet school be any more beneficial than just sticking to the local school in the first place?

Do you mean after JAs travelling to the mid and/or senior associates would be too far?

I think there could still be some benefit to just JAs for 3 years, at least it might give you and your DD an idea as to whether ballet and RBS was what right for you.

I think it is important to follow their lead, as well as making sure that they are getting LOTS of sleep and proper nutrition BUT I think you also need to have a conversation with DD about the time she's invested in her hobby/sport thus far and that it can be difficult to catch up later. You should also remind her that we all have tough days/weeks/months...at school, at work, at play and that doesn't always mean that quitting is the best option. Building a life-skill is like a meandering curve of lows and highs and that you learn as much from the 'low' days as you do from the 'high' ones. Don't know if that makes any sense but I have lots of regrets about quitting things I was good at and I want The DCs to consider everything before they call it a day.

Yes ThoughtsPlease, that's what I meant. I have 2 other children to think about too and think I might be a little more lazy than some of the very dedicated parents on here. Travelling at least 2 hours there and back every Saturday is a definite no from me. If it was something Dd1 wanted to do above all else and showed a life long passion for maybe, but she really doesn't.

But as you say, doing JAs might just sway it one way or the other once and for all. I did ask her today which she liked most out of ballet, drums and gymnastics, (she enjoys them all) she said ballet.

I know exactly what you mean and certainly don't see it as lazy, I also have 3 children and will have to think carefully about what they all choose to do as activities.

I am also very conscious of what I see as almost over investing time on a single activity from a very early age to the detriment of other future opportunities.

I was a JA and both my sister and I were RBS and by early 20s we had both stopped dancing completely.

If I'm honest I wish that I had been to a more academic school, I passed the 11+ and would have gone to the good local grammar school, I consider myself bright but don't feel that I have achieved career wise what I would have liked.

Just to let you know by the way

JAs is for ages 8-11 (end of year 6)
Then MA s is year 7 onwards & finally SA's which I think goes from age 14

Controversial here, but to be honest I dot think MAs and SAs are really that worthwhile. JAs, for children with a real love of ballet who are maybe thinking of auditioning at 11 for the ballet schools may be beneficial, but unless Ballet is their life I really think they can get more out of a regular private lesson with their own ballet teacher. And even if they want to audition, they do not have to have done the JA programme.

As I have said previously, I haven't bothered auditioning my oldest for JAs because I feel it would have been a waste of time for her. She will never be a prima ballerina, and JAs would have bored her silly. However my son will audition because already, at 7, he is telling anyone who will listen that he wants to go to Elmhirst or the Royal Ballet at 11. And he is happy to do the repetitive, technique based exercises until the cows come home. He is a perfectionist. Dd1 is a performer.

Whilst I sort of agree with you sparkly they are useful for children at smaller dance schools like my dds was where there isn't the opportunity to have regular private lessons

Dd managed about 5 weeks if privates to get her ready for her current school but it wasn't easy finding a teacher with the time & space.

Saying that dd too never went for assiciates as she's more MT

She did however enjoy RaD and Midas associates.

"I am also very conscious of what I see as almost over investing time on a single activity from a very early age to the detriment of other future opportunities."

Yes, I agree totally! It's such a hard decision

Picturesinthefirelight, what does MT stand for? (I'm a bit clueless!)

MT stands for musical theatre op.

Yes, pictures I can see that in a small school they would have more of a role to play. I forget how lucky we are some times to be at a relatively large school.

My dd has, however, taken part in the ACE program with the RAD and loves attending summer schools and workshops at other organisations and schools.

Your children do seem very passionate Sparkly, that's what my Dd1 lacks, I think she'd be a bit miffed for a couple of days if I said no to the JAs audition and then would forget all about it.

I think actually that its the passionate children with supportive parents who succeed in the face world. A hold with all the talent in the world is going to get nowhere without a parent that's prepared to taxi them around.

I have watched, over the last 8 years, as many girls and boys have gone off to dance colleges and schools and some have come back (couldn't hack being away from home) or given up completely, who had so much talent you'd have been convinced they would have made it. Others, who never stood out, but had the drive and passion and the parents with a hand ever so gently, but firmly, wedged in the small of their backs have finished college and found work in the west end, on cruise ships or even in ballet companies.

going back to the original details - does your DD really need to do the swimming? If she CAN swim, dooes she really need to do "training" if sshe isn't likely to do serious club swimming? Sounds like too much on theplate for me and homework will raise its ugly head sooner or later