Gymnastics - my son's bad experience - advice please?

[musicalfamily]

My DS (6) has been going to a gym for 6 months or so and the feedback I got for him is that they will not allow him to train for any competition and that basically he has not future at the club. I am heartbroken for him as he tells everyone he wants to be an Olympic gymnast!!!

On the flipside, a gymnastic coach who comes to the school to do an afterschool club, approach my DH (in parallel to all this happening!) and told him that he though DS had a talent for gymnastics and he would recommend him doing it out of school!

As I had such conflicting advice, I feel torn as to what to do. We could sign DS up with this guy who also runs a club (much smaller though), but I don't understand how we can get such radically different views?

The other club said that DS wasn't strong enough or flexible enough, but surely these are skills you develop? He is a very slight, super acrobatic type child....I don't know whether to just try another sport or pursue this different club, what would you do in my shoes?

If he enjoys it, I would send him to the other club which may be more supportive.

However, I would also start making him understand that not everyone can be an Olympic class gymnast and sometimes it's good to do these things just for the enjoyment. Obviously not in a way to crush his spirit :)

Given that your son enjoys gymnastics and is keen on it, I'd try the other club.

I think I'd sign him up for the other coach to be honest. Maybe he doesn't have a natural affinity for gymnastics, if that's the case then he'll probably lose interest in it when it starts getting too hard and stops being so much fun. Maybe the club isn't a good fit for him, but he is actually pretty good, in which case it would be a shame for him to stop doing something so active that he enjoys.

Go with the smaller club. basically, the other club don't want your son. He is 6 - at this stage surely it's not about training for competitions but about fitness and confidence and developing friendships and new skills.

TBH, even if there wasn't another gymnastics club, I wouldn't be sending him back to the first one. They sound vile.

Absolutely agree about the fun and enjoyment - for my son it is all about that but he also likes the idea of competing.

In a way as he is only 6 years old, he could be competing with his friends in the local club or at a very local level, it doesn't have to be a regional or national competition. I think I will give the other gym a go!

Different clubs exist for different purposes, find one that's right for your child, methinks.

Stupid pressure from such a young age is so offputting, though, isn't it? Reminds me of the tennis hype ("we need more kids playing" etc.) now that Murray has won. The infrastructure to support the top talents won't exist if the environment isn't friendly for the merely ordinary.

Could be the smaller gym club is a better environment and he becomes an Olympian.

I'm not suggesting you hoik around looking for someone to get him to Olympics, just that your boy will be better in a positive fun environment. Serendipity if it turns out he has talent for anything else.

There's a few things here:

1. Don't be "heartbroken" for him - at 6, he barely has a concept of what being an Olympic gymnast entails - I understand you want him to have hopes and dreams - but heartbroken sounds a bit over the top for a 6yo (more understandable for a 14yo who has been doing gymnastics since they were 6 and has been told they won't make it to the top!) At 6 I remember wielding a tennis racket and thinking if I didn't practice hitting balls against the wall I would never get to Wimbledon(!) Seriously. I didn't have any idea at all.

2. The gymnastic coach may well see potential in your DS however he is also looking to increase membership to his (much smaller) club. Of course he is going to be flattering to potential customers. That is maybe why you have received such conflicting advice (as you asked, sorry I know it's maybe not what you wanted to hear). The bigger current club has not as much to lose as they are established, the smaller club wants members to join up.

3. The only important thing to consider here is if your DS enjoys gymnastics. His first club have made it clear they aren't looking to progress him. The gymnastic coach says he sees potential. It's clear that he would be better off at the smaller club where he would be welcomed. If he enjoys it why would you look to try another sport? (unless it becomes obvious he is not and never will be competing material and he is either expected to compete, or he would want to, and feel miserable at being left behind).

4. I would still look into different sports that he might enjoy anyway. Trampolining maybe? (I don't know). Ice skating? Cricket?

thanks cloudkitten all good points. Thanks for taking the time.

I think I will keep an open mind, I will give this other club a go and see where it takes him. Even if he never gets to do competitions, at least he will be in a nurturing and fun environment, which is the whole point of doing sports I guess?

Someone told me that doing gymnastics will give him a good level of fitness which will serve him well for other sports anyway!!

I think some gymnastics clubs are all about high through put of any possible talent and aren't fun supportive places. I took DD (also 6) out of the local "future Olympians" club as they had written off her lack of natural ability. She's now in a small club at the LA gym which is all about fun and mastering the basics.

DDs club do both, they have serious DCs who practice several times a week and a recreational group who don't care if you can only do cartwheels and walkovers by age 12.

DD started too late ever to do competitive stuff, but she has a huge amount of fun. She practices endlessly on the trampoline so it keeps her fit.

yes that was our experience too. The sad thing is that they put young children off the sport, which is a shame because gymnastics is fun in itself even if not done at Olympic standard!!

turkeyboots good to know that your DD is now enjoying herself at the new club, my son's new club is also at the LA gym...fingers crossed for him!!

I would stay with the bigger club. At 6 he is very young for them to take such bombastic standpoint.

My son was invited to try for the squad gymnasts when he was 6 1/2 but was rejected. They said they would still keep an eye on his development.

A year later he took Gold medal for his age at the club championships (large London club) Aged 8, he is now in the "top set" in his club, and is taught in a small group of just 5 children, working on backflips etc.
He is not a squad gymnast, but he is learning fast, has fun and is developing and has great progress.

There are plenty of children of all abilities in the club, all having fun and receiving coaching appropriate to their level.

I hope you have not told your son about his "rejection" - my son never new he was trialing for the squad! If he enjoys gymnastics, and you think he has a future, keep him in the bigger better club.

But you could let him join the other club too, and see if he could gain more flexibility. My son is very strong, is proud of his "six pack", can walk on his hands, and has excellent stamina. He is out on his trampoline every day. He is also swimming once a week, which is excellent for developing long lean muscles.

I think any self respecting club would be cautious with such young children and not give parents big ideas.

Why dont you take the hint about his strength and flexibility and sign him up for additional clubs that will support his gymnastics, such as swimming, trampolining, etc?

Hi quintessential,
of course I haven't told him of his rejection, I just asked him if he'd rather go to the other coach's club as it might be more fun and he agreed (phew).

He already does swimming and tennis, I thought about getting him a trampoline at home as he'd love that anyway.

If they had said that for now he was going to stay where he was and then they would review him in the future I would have left him there; however as they said categorically in no uncertain terms that they will not be reviewing him as he will be too "old" and that they will not be providing him with opportunities to develop, I think it is a closed door.

I am hoping that a smaller club will provide him with closer opportunities to develop and then I might try later on when he has improved. I think they have pretty much closed the door on us!

If they really said that, then it is pants. I would really let him go to a different club.

It is different for my boy who still has pretty much invested in him, as do all the kids, even if all they do is roly-polys and star jumps!

All the kids are valued and special and absolutely love it.

My DDs do competitive gymnastics, and from my experience I'd say he would be unlikely to make it as an Olympic gymnast from the small club, but I'd also question whether that is something you really want? To be a top level gymnast, you pretty much need to sacrifice your childhood, and there's no guarantees and very little future in gymnastics. My youngest daughter (also 6 1/2) does competitive gymnastics, and she trains 7.5 hours a week. One of her friends has just moved to a very serious gym club, and at age 6, she will be doing 17 hours a week (this will increase as she gets older). She has been identified as having potential to make it (she's now going to one of the Olympians clubs) and fair play to her, but I'm not sure I'd make the same choices for my child, given the sacrifices that comes with it.

My eldest (9) trains 18 hours a week (split over 5 days, including Sat and Sunday) term time, and over the summer holidays its around 23 hours. Already, my daughter has to sacrifice so much - she misses birthday parties, sleep overs, play dates so much because she is always at the gym. But this is her choice, and she loves it. Yet, even on 18 hours a week at age 9, she is never going to 'make it' as a gymnast. Sure she can do some pretty good tricks - tuckbacks, straightbacks and the like and she competes at a regional level, and will hopefully take her national grades next year. But to even stand a chance at international level, she would have to do far more hours, miss time off school etc.

However, they don't need to be an Olympic gymnast to have a great time doing gymnastics. My DD trains, has a close knit circle of friends in her gym friends, enjoys competitions and learning new tricks. There's far more to gymnastics than being that elusive Olympian, which so few children achieve (and believe me, there are thousands upon thousands of gymnasts out there!)

Being honest, if the big club says he is unlikely to make it - then he probably won't make it as an Olympian, most clubs know exactly what it is they are looking for. And even out of those they think are going to make it, few will. But, get him to enjoy gymnastics for what it is (and it is a fantastic sport) and he will probably still be able to compete and enjoy himself at the smaller club. The Bigger club would probably offer more opportunities, but as that door is closed, then enjoy the smaller club. And if he gets on brilliantly, then in a few years maybe look at another bigger club if he shows promise and perhaps move him then. Different clubs do look for different things, and he may well make excellent progress and you can review things later.

Be very glad that your kid enjoys sport and is going to have a normal childhood. Most 6 year olds want to be train drivers or the like. He will get over the Olympic gymnast idea soon enough, especially if you don't allow yourself to be carried away by his childish ambitions.

I know.....if I compare it to football or dancing though (which my other children do). My DD1 at one point said she wanted to be a ballerina, but the nice thing about her ballet school is that it is very inclusive, everyone gets to do their RAD exams and gets to take part in a show or competitions if they want to. I realise it is different if she went to the Royal Ballet school though.

So although she will never be a ballerina, when she grows up she will have learned ballet, she will remember doing shows and she will have some certificates in her folder!! With football kind of similar, you get to play against the local teams, get little trophies and learn the basics of how to play. I was hoping for something similar for gymnastics and was taken aback when I had that "chat".

I guess all I was hoping for was for him to learn the basics, get the chance to do some competitions and get some badges/medals, but maybe gymnastics is a different ball game, at the big clubs that is. I am hoping the smaller club will deliver the above, if not it will be time to move on!

That's exactly what DD is able to do, she has fun, gets the odd badge and learns a few tricks to show off to her friends and irritate her PE mistress (DD2 we're doing long jump not cartwheels!)

Her recreational class is part of a big club with brilliant facilities and lots of coaches, our small club cannot offer foam pits and sprung floors etc. it's very basic and both DDs gave it up long ago as boring.

You need to talk to your big club and see if they offer a more relaxed pathway or if DS will be made to feel second best.

If he sticks with it he will improve his strength and flexibility, and will eventually get to compete at whatever level is right for him.Lower level competitions particularly have heaps of medals and when your DS wins his first one he will feel like an olympic gymnast!
I work for a large competitive gym and we would never say to parent of a 6 yo that a child has no future at this club, unless there was a reason why we wanted rid of them I hesitate to say this but does he behave well, listen and do as he is told? You can eventually make nearly any child who has the focus and dedication ,into a reasonably good gymnast able to competemtly compete at regional level if they work hard enough.

Xylem8, I get the impression they just want to get rid of him but I am not sure why - I observe his lessons (there is a large viewing area) and he is one of these quiet children that always do as they told, so not someone who doesn't listen.

Since posting on here I have spoken to a lady whose DD1 is doing very well in gymnastics, (she is 7) and does 11 hours training a week...she said that this particular club said the same about her DD and basically booted her out.....she wasn't convinced and persevered elsewhere and is now doing very well and loving it.

I would move him to a club where he can be in a group suited to his ability so that he can enjoy himself. I am a sprts coach in a different discipline and coaching groups are split according to ability.
The guy who came to your school and said he saw 'something' in your son would be comparing him with other children in the group he was observing. of course your son would stand out as he has already had some degree of coachining.
There is quite a hike in the difference between a school ability child and one who has been coached for the activity at a dedicted club.

I am shocked by this thread. Is the OP sure that there has been no misunderstanding.

My daughter goes to a large gymnastics club that cater from all levels ie. severe special needs to international level. My son went there and was utterly dire at gym and they really bent over backwards to help him. (my son nearly failed to get badge 6 as he was so poor at gym)

This particular gym club is one of the best in the country and produced a bronze medalist gymnast. They have special needs, recreational, intemediate, development and squad groups. I was under the impression that most major gym clubs offer the same. They need the recreational gymnasts to subsize the cost of the equipment and the high level squad.

Has your son completed all his badges? I know that my children's gym club has various level of classes for everyone. I also think you have to decide what you want to achieve for your children.

I feel enlightened by this thread. I take my 2 year old to a toddler gym class which is part of a bigger gym club. I was really shocked by how seriously some of the parents take it, but if kids get written off at 6 then I guess they have to take their nearly 4 year-old seriously. Mad. I'm still working on getting DS to stay in the room...

The gym also operates a recreational section. However they do not progress the children, they are lumped together between ages 4 and 8 and seem to continuously rotate coaching. The badge system is also random as my DS1 was given the same badge as DS2 who is 2 years younger and still very much a tot and not able to do most basic routines. The recreational section is also extremely overcrowded.

They also do not offer the chance to recreational kids to do more than once a week in that particular class and/or partake in any different discipline or competition. This is why I was pushing to get my DS1 out of there, as he wanted to do more than once a week and he wanted to do boys gymnastics rather than mixed recreational. And that's what led to that conversation I had.