Gymnastics - my son's bad experience - advice please?

[musicalfamily]

My DS (6) has been going to a gym for 6 months or so and the feedback I got for him is that they will not allow him to train for any competition and that basically he has not future at the club. I am heartbroken for him as he tells everyone he wants to be an Olympic gymnast!!!

On the flipside, a gymnastic coach who comes to the school to do an afterschool club, approach my DH (in parallel to all this happening!) and told him that he though DS had a talent for gymnastics and he would recommend him doing it out of school!

As I had such conflicting advice, I feel torn as to what to do. We could sign DS up with this guy who also runs a club (much smaller though), but I don't understand how we can get such radically different views?

The other club said that DS wasn't strong enough or flexible enough, but surely these are skills you develop? He is a very slight, super acrobatic type child....I don't know whether to just try another sport or pursue this different club, what would you do in my shoes?

musicalfamily what badge is your son on. I think its unreasonable to expect your child to be put in the squad if he has not completed all the gymnastics badges.

Our gym club has single sex gym from the age of five for all classes except special needs. The children are grouped according whatever badge they are working towards.

The fact that the recreational section is over crowed is probably why the club will only offer you one session a week. At the age of six it is better to do a range of sports and than concentrate on one. A child needs to build up muscle, stamina and suppleness to be good at sport. How about him trying karate, football, tennis or whatever other sports takes his fancy.

"This is why I was pushing to get my DS1 out of there, as he wanted to do more than once a week and he wanted to do boys gymnastics rather than mixed recreational. And that's what led to that conversation I had."

Is it YOU who wants him to do more serious gym or your six year old. Are you trying to live your dreams through your child? Is doing high level gym his ambition or yours?

Ah - your last post makes more sense of the conversation. It seems they were probably trying to tell you that he is in the right group for now (recreational) rather than the competitive group. I don't see why that is a problem? The small gym would be the equivalent of the recreational group.

I was surprised earlier on about the emphasis you placed on competitions for a 6 year old too. At that age, unless elite material, I would hope my daughter would be working through her badges. She will be joining a mixed group (they separate by stage though) and they progress through the badges as they are able.

(ReallyTired - your gym sounds the same as ours!...)

Ha ha ha about living my dreams through my child. Gymnastics has never been on my radar, in fact I can honestly say I have no interest in that sport whatsoever! It is my son who started saying he wants to go more than once a week and wants to compete. Partly because we took them to the Olympics, we happened to watch gymnastics only because we entered a draw and that's where his love for the sport began.

I don't see what the problem is in letting a boy do a sport he says he loves more than one session a week, letting him do proper artistic gymnastics rather than a load of repetitive stuff with mixed aged groups, it seems rather short sighted. They didn't say he could stay where he was for now, they said he absolutely had no chance to compete EVER, that they would not let him join any kind of boys' only squad and that he could not join their groups doing more hours a week as they didn't want to invest in him.

In the smaller group he is getting the right age group, the all boys and the ability to progress at his own pace, I should think that's a better set up for someone who wants to do a bit more!!

Finally, my son also does tennis and swimming, he loathes swimming but I make him do it until he's learned properly and he quite likes tennis but has never really expressed a huge interest. He also tried football but said he hated it and as we tried taking him a few times he was sat in tears and going hysterical. So I am quite happy he's found a sport he loves, to be honest, but I can't get my head round why a club wouldn't let a child do a bit more if they want to get better at a sport.

" but I can't get my head round why a club wouldn't let a child do a bit more if they want to get better at a sport."

The large club probably has a massive waiting list and wants to give as many children the opportunity to do gym as possible. Our club wants to teach the entire world gymnastics regardless of talent! What is so hard to understand that they would rather take a child off the waiting list than give a six year old two sessions a week.

"In the smaller group he is getting the right age group, the all boys and the ability to progress at his own pace, I should think that's a better set up for someone who wants to do a bit more!!"

Are there holiday classes at either club? I think you should move to the smaller club if you feel he will be happier there. A smaller club without a waiting list may well be happy for your son to do more sessions. Infact there is nothing to stop your son going to both clubs!

I feel you should be realistic about your son's sporting chances. An bronze olympic medalist gymnast visited my son's school and told my son that he did a range of sports when he was little. I don't think that our club has any children as young as six in the squad. Many olympicans have the ablity to turn their hand to any sport.

Is it really a good idea to over specialise at the age of six? Prehaps he should have the chance to learn music, draw or simply relax?

Reallytired offered some good insight to the way gym clubs operate.

Flexbility - all elite gymnasts will be hypermobile to start with, obviously your son isn't so I think the Olympics is an expectation that you need to manage.

You asked the question and the gym club gave a valid response, you don't like it but its probably the truth. Try another club or go to more than one club. Look at trampolining/teamgym/acrobatic gymnastic classes. Look at other sports - climbing, diving etc...

Apologies for the waffle/long post and if I repeat anything already said but I feel I can sympathise and offer some advice. If he really enjoys his gym there's no reason why he shouldn't carry on. I would maybe try classes at the other club and see how it go's. Where about's are you? Some area's have a fair few clubs and boys are usually better in an all boys class that's geared towards boys skills. It's often worth travelling a bit further afield to find somewhere that suits better.

My DS now 11, started recreational gymnastics at 5. I took him as it was a bit of fun and exercise. At 6 he moved to an all boys recreational class at a big artistic club as it was the only all boys class I could find, (most rec classes are aimed at girls). At this club, children are selected from the recreational classes for 'development training' between the ages of 5 and 7 and if they're over 7, they're 'too old'. My DS didn't have the natural strength and flexibility at this point to be selected by this club but he enjoyed the class so we carried on.
We then moved to a different area of the UK where he wanted to keep up the gym as he enjoyed it so, I found a class at an all boys gym club. They said straight away he could go into their development class and start training 4 hours (2x2hr classes) a week. We then moved back but his original club still said he wasn't good enough for them and, not wanting him to take a step back, I found a different club but this time doing Acrobatic gymnastics. He went straight in at 6 hours a week and now trains 12 hours and has done so for about 15 months. He did his first national competition this year and got a Gold medal, age 10. Many of the elite gymnasts at this club didn't even start training until they were 10 and are now European and World Champions.

What i'm trying to say in a roundabout way is some clubs are more 'elitist' than others and just because one club says no it doesn't mean its out completely, but also that there are other disciplines to consider, they don't have to do artistic. Yes, artistic is the only way if you want to be in the Olympics but the cost of getting there is high, most Olympic gymnasts have sacrificed a large part of their childhood and 'normal' life. At 6 they are expected to train at least 6 hours a week, rising to 25 plus by the time they are 11 or 12. The club my DS originally went to is attached to a school and children are offered places at that school so they can be taken out of lessons easily to train.
The UK does really well at Acrobatic gymnastics which has it's own national, european and world championships and is in the World Games (like the Olympics, every 4 years but lots of other sports). There's also TeamGym and Tumbling which also offer lots of competitions at various levels.

Pygmyangel, thanks for your post, as it sounds like our boys were in a very similar situation and you know exactly what I am trying to say!!

It is very reassuring to hear your experience and that I am not going down the wrong track. I am going to give the smaller club a go and see how he gets on. Like you say, there are other disciplines and when he is a little bit older he can also try tumbling or acro or freestyle or others. Then again he might decide gymnastics is not for him, but I want it to be his decision!

Hi Musical. Thought I'd share my experiences with you.

My DS is 8 and does 25 hours gymnastics per week at a men's artistic gymnastics club. He's in the elite squad. At 8, he is due to participate in the BG National Elite levels this Autumn, something you cannot do until this age and stage. He will do level one.

Beneath him is a small group of 4 / 5 / 6 year old boys who are being "groomed" (for want of a better word) to learn the skills necessary to move up to this level when they are old enough. The recreational gymnastic coaches know to look out for any boy in the Rec. classes who appears to show a good level of strength and flexibility, with an emphasis leg lefts, chin ups, rope climbing, and ability to easily do splits and fold pike. The young boys are then invited into the 'competition' side of gymnastics. Certainly, a huge element of sibling / family connections comes into play. Young brothers / sisters of already competing gymnasts are often always invited 'to the dark side' as their parents are already committed to the massive workload, plus genes can play a huge part.

My point is that there is lots that can be done between the age of 6 and 8, and it's all the good stuff that balances strength and precision between the levels of risk taking. My DS is tumbling (round off, back flip, back somersault), doing giant circles on the high bar, and double backs on the trampoline. It's bloody hard work for them though. If I was you I would contact your nearest, largest British Gymnastics Men's Artistic club (will no doubt be part of a women's club also) and take your son for an audition. Blag him in if needs be. They will give you an accurate assessment of his current ability and his potential. Our club auditions boys all the time.

You sound keen, and clubs like that. Whilst I understand that some of gymnastics is pure talent, most is learned and worked towards but starting early is the key and 6 is definitely not too late.

As an aside, my DS was in a comp last week, competing on the same rotation as Daniel Purvis, as it was a regional club comp. So exciting to see the younger gymnasts in the same event as Olympians!

Wow well done to your son, it is certainly a HUGE commitment at such a young age!! Unfortunately there aren't any other large clubs locally, as we are quite rural so only one very large club and lots of tiny ones. Maybe once he has developed some more strength and flexibility in the smaller club, I can look further afield and get a second opinion?

I wasn't aware of the family connections but I have seen this happen elsewhere so I guess there is a degree of incentive for the family of one children to take the other child/children along too..

I wish you all the best for your son, he sounds absolutely amazing and thank you for sharing your experience!!

Would just like to add that sometimes a little bit of 'homework' can be helpful in these situations. Things like practising splits on an evening after a warm bath and buying a pull up bar to build some upper body strength.

OP, I think you should try the other club.

DD has been doing gym at a very good club for nearly 8 years. The children progress as is appropriate for that child - some continue on with an hour or two a week whilst others move on to up to 10 hours a week. All of them are valued and encouraged and all can compete in club comps at the appropriate level.

Obviously some children show a particular flair (and are the right size/shape) from the start. They progress faster and move on to regional or national clubs pretty quickly. Sounds like your DS is one of them, HJ.

And yes, gymnastics is fantastic for all-round fitness - strength, stamina, balance, etc.