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Frustrated With Personal Trainers - Not Feeling Heard at All!

10 replies

TheRealGossipGirl · 06/05/2026 12:29

I’m honestly at breaking point with this and just need to vent.

At the end of last year, I signed up to a gym and got a personal trainer. To give credit where it’s due, it did help my confidence - I learned how to use machines properly, got comfortable with weights, and picked up some useful tips. That part I’ll always appreciate.

But the actual experience with the trainer? Exhausting.

She clearly knew her stuff, but it felt like just a job to her - not someone genuinely invested in her clients. She had too many people to juggle and was constantly trying to fit sessions around her own schedule, not mine. I finish work at 5:30pm, yet she kept asking me to come in at 3 or 4pm. I’d say no, she’d say “that’s fine”, then ask again the next week.

I was constantly rushing after work, and on my days off she wanted 7am sessions - twice a week. I was shattered. On top of that, there was zero structure. No plan, no goals, no tracking progress - just “today we’ll use this machine”. When I suggested dropping to one session a week, she said it wouldn’t be enough to see progress, which didn’t sit right with me at all.
I went away for two weeks, came back, told her things were hectic and I wouldn’t be booking sessions for now… and she didn’t reply. That honestly said everything to me.

After that, I found another PT at a small private gym. I see her once a week alongside training on my own. She’s lovely as a person and more reasonably priced, but I’m starting to get really frustrated again.

She just doesn’t seem to listen.

I’m 5’2, quite petite, and when she gets me doing lunges, she keeps telling me to step further out to the point where I lose balance. I’m literally wobbling side to side and she says things like “I feel like you’re afraid”. I’ve told her clearly - I’m not afraid, I just physically don’t have the leg length for that stance. I’ve shown her what works for me and she agrees… but then goes back to pushing the same thing again.

Same with squats - she keeps telling me to go lower and lower, to the point it feels excessive. I’ve asked why I need to go that low and the answer is just “that’s how squats are done”, which doesn’t really explain anything and just makes me dread doing them with her.

The final straw was goblet squats. She handed me a weight that was far too heavy. I was struggling just to hold it, let alone squat. After the first set I told her it was too heavy and hurting my back. She laughed it off and said it wasn’t heavy. I refused to continue, asked what the weight actually was, and she said she didn’t know. That really annoyed me - I don’t appreciate being pushed like that and dismissed when I say something feels wrong. My back has been hurting since.

I completely understand that training isn’t meant to be easy, but there’s a difference between being challenged and not being listened to.

After two back-to-back experiences like this, I honestly don’t think I want to work with a personal trainer again. I don’t know if I’ve just been unlucky, or if this is common, but it’s really frustrating paying someone and still feeling unheard.

OP posts:
Amberkitten7654321 · 06/05/2026 12:45

That sounds like you’ve been really unlucky. I wonder if using a PT attached to a gym means they don’t care as much as it’s not their personal reputation so much as the gyms on the line? I’ve been seeing a PT for just over 18 months who I LOVE. She works out of a small gym in her garage at home which she converted. We work in 8 weeks blocks where we do the same exercises each week gradually building weights and reducing reps. She writes every single thing down so we always know exactly where we were the last time. I have seen such insane results just from the consistency and planning.
I’ve had a few PTs before and it’s been more like your experience, but now I realise the value of a good one.
can you try and find someone independent?

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 06/05/2026 12:55

Doesn’t really sound worth the money if you ask me. I’ve never done for a PT as I don’t really like being told what to do. Can’t even follow a marathon training plan and just do what I want when I want instead.

now you have a foundation maybe just go it alone for a while and see how you get on. You can always look for another PT down the line if that’s what you want to do.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/05/2026 13:03

the gym takes a huge cut, perhaps up to 50%, from the session. So that’s the trainer’s motivation half gone too. Then, gyms often get PTs who are not that experiences (not always, I know) because, back to point one, an experienced one wouldn’t agree to such terms.

like PP suggested, get someone truly self-employed.

there is a gym I do 1 and a half shift per week just as a gym instructor and I didn’t take them up on offer to train people there. It’s just not cost effective. Just see my own clients in their places or use a small PT studio where they let you hire the space by the hour.

SquirrelSoShiny · 06/05/2026 13:23

Some PTs are as thick as mince. Others are fantastic. Shop around to find the one who is a good fit.

MayRibbons · 06/05/2026 13:27

I have been going to my PT for over five years now. She is AMAZING (and charges less than the ones at the gym). I have also had PT through the gym and experienced what you describe.

I found my PT by accident: she was covering for a pilates instructor for a class I was going to, and then I found out that she was a PT and works out of her own little studio, and the rest is history. I have a dodgy knee and a dodgy shoulder and she always listens to how I am at the start of a session and adjusts as i do it if I tell her something is too much / not right.

Have faith but maybe ask for local recommendations?

gamerchick · 06/05/2026 13:41

It's nothing like the experience I've had with my PT. I think I lucked out reading that.

Find an independent gym, not a chain. You'll get your needs met better I think. Don't give up though. They're not all the same.

LordEmsworth · 06/05/2026 13:49

If you do want to find a new PT then just interview them beforehand. Ask about their approach, about their existing clients, their views and opinions - and check that they ask you what our goals are, what you like / dislike, what your expectations are... I've been with the same PT for about 15 years and he entirely adapts and changes when I ask him, or suggests changes that he thinks I might benefit from.

Also ask their qualifications and insurance. Boring but necessary!

ParmaVioletTea · 08/05/2026 20:04

Well, your second trainer is absolutely correct on squats - they're not much good unless you get he hip crease below the knee. And she's probably correct about lunges - maybe you need to have your legs wider apart on stepping out - foot to the outside of your hip. And use your core - it might be that your PT was trying to help you strengthen a weak core if you can't balance in a lunge.

It's the job of a PT to push you. And it is not comfortable! There's a difference between discomfort & pain.

Maybe that kind of training is just not for you. You probably know enough to do your own thing, but you might want to think about what your goals are. That would help anyone working with you. And help you be assertive about what you want.

LordEmsworth · 08/05/2026 20:10

ParmaVioletTea · 08/05/2026 20:04

Well, your second trainer is absolutely correct on squats - they're not much good unless you get he hip crease below the knee. And she's probably correct about lunges - maybe you need to have your legs wider apart on stepping out - foot to the outside of your hip. And use your core - it might be that your PT was trying to help you strengthen a weak core if you can't balance in a lunge.

It's the job of a PT to push you. And it is not comfortable! There's a difference between discomfort & pain.

Maybe that kind of training is just not for you. You probably know enough to do your own thing, but you might want to think about what your goals are. That would help anyone working with you. And help you be assertive about what you want.

Bollocks. You don't get better by being told to do the impossible. Stuggling to get low enough on squats? The answer is not "just go lower", it's use adaptations to improve - like a heel lift, or even use a lighter weight to get the technique. It's not to ramp up the weight and go yeah just try a bit harder 😵‍💫

IwanttoWFH · 08/05/2026 20:36

I had a terrible PT who, despite knowing I had back problems, had me doing Russian Deadlifts which, you guessed it, put my back out. I was in agony for weeks and couldn’t walk. When I told her, she was very dismissive. She also hurt someone else I knew.

On the other hand, I’ve had two really good PT’s. I’d ask for recommendations on a local Facebook page.

They should push you and make you slightly uncomfortable, but respect your limitations and work around any injuries you have.

You definitely need a plan. They should have a workout planned for you and make notes so you know if you’re progressing or not.

Personally, I prefer male PT’s. I find them less harsh than females!

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