Struggling to restart exercise after baby and return to work

[Quickdraw23]

Does anyone have any advice or encouragement?

I have always exercised one way or another since at school. Was into PE/team sports through school and uni and post uni.
into rock climbing and running (5k, and 10k type distances, nothing mega!)

i’m now 36 and had a baby last year, he's about to turn 1. I cycled to work until 36 weeks, did weekly yoga til 39 weeks and swam and did weights a couple of times a week until about 32 weeks when I just couldn’t be arsed anymore.

Post-pregnancy it has taken me way way longer to get back into any kind of routine with exercise. I intended not to put pressure on myself in the early stages, and tried to be realistic. I am extremely lucky to have a supportive DP who definitely takes an equal share of the parenting load. And yet…Im still struggling.

breastfeeding made me feel so exhausted all the time, I struggled to find the energy to exercise regularly until I stopped this at 10 months.

i went back to work when the baby was 9 months old in a clinical role doing 9 hour shifts 4 days a week. One day a week I have the baby all day. Me and my partner have agreed a couple of evenings each a week for workouts. I managed to give myself Achilles tendinopathy when attending a weights class. Then nursery started and we’ve had back to back colds and bugs.

and I’m tired. Tired from work, tired from parenting and the domestic load.

I feel really disappointed in myself to be struggling this much to get back into any kind of exercise routine. Am I just being unrealistic? Am I trying to do too much too soon? Will I get back into the swing of it at some point if I keep trying?

thank you for reading.

Yup, it's a challenge. I'm managing to get back into it starting at about 9 months, but only by carefully structuring what I do. It all goes to shit if we get ill or work gets stressful. The 2h team training at bedtime half an hour away gets skipped more often than not, but the 1h training 5 minutes away at 8pm is much more doable. The running stroller has been brilliant too. I take him out on a Sunday morning for a running nap to give DH a lie in and we often stop for a coffee or at the playground. I also leave work a bit early 1 day per week and run to nursery with the stroller to pick DS up.

That is a lot of change in a short space of time. Your job is demanding, you’re a parent and you want to exercise.
Start slow and tell yourself you will do 20 mins. Chances are you will end up doing more

Make sure your diet is spot on to maximize energy. Drink water. No snacking on crap when on shift.

And perhaps worth getting a blood screening to make sure all readings are good after your pregnancy.

you will get there OP.

I have a suspicion that breast feeding makes you more injury prone too. I broke my toes at 8 months walking into a door, which is something I did very regularly without damage before! It was very frustrating and stopped me doing a lot of sport for quite a while.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, so do give yourself some grace on this. It also sounds like exercise is important to you, and you have some time you could spend on it one or two nights a week.

What motivated you before baby, and what is putting you off now? Is it you feel you need more rest, your injury has knocked your confidence, the things you enjoy have changed?

Related, post-kids I only really do things that tick more than one box - so a class I’ve committed to attending with someone else. Time is precious and if I have time out I want to maximise the wellbeing.

Thanks for your kind words.

in terms of what’s putting me off I think it’s partly just tiredness; I dash from work to nursery and then get in with DS and the thought of heading out again just feels so hard.

the climbing wall in my town closed and moved a 25 min drive away; it used to be a 6 min cycle from my house. my climbing partner lives 50 mins away in the other direction - we used to alternate climbing in his town and then my town each week, but now the wall has moved we can only do a weekend day if he’s coming over here, or it would be me driving an hour to climb for two hours and then an hour home on a week night which is crazy. I’ve accepted that at the moment climbing regularly just isn’t achievable, it’s too time consuming.

the other thing I liked before pregnancy was running, especially trails. I wasn’t especially good at it but I did enjoy it. That feels more achievable, but I need to get rid of the Achilles tendinopathy first 🙄, so yes I think this is where the injury comes in.
and I know that at my age (or any age!) to avoid injury when running I need to be doing some resistance a couple of times a week. That’s when it starts feeling a bit insurmountable.

Thank you! And yes bloods might be a good idea actually.

The reason I mentioned that is I used to be a competitive swimmer and I found it incredibly hard to train a while post bereavement (not the same as post partum but one might say equally draining on the body for some). As in I would sit on the edge of the pool and actually cry because I didn't want to get it and it felt like I was swimming with my labrador on my back.
I had blood tests done and it turned out I was iron deficient and a couple of other markers were out too. Once I had sorted then, my motivation to actually do exercise became much better.
Having a baby batters your body so it wouldn't be surprising if you had similar. At least rule it out.

So not only has a lot changed in your life over the past year, but it’s also not as easy for you to exercise due to the climbing wall issues and the injury.

Climbing isn’t realistic for a weeknight with the distance, but you sound passionate about it - could you commit to meeting up one weekend every 4/6 weeks to climb with your partner? Sometimes even having the date in the diary makes you feel positive and have something to look forward to.

I’m not sure what your budget is, but you could kill two birds with one stone and meet with a personal trainer once a week to do the specific resistance work you need to build your strength again. I suggest a trainer because it takes a lot of mental load off - you don’t have to plan your exercise, you just have to turn up at eg 7pm once a week and the details are taken care of by someone else, and there might be a bit of an additional incentive because you’re getting the most out of your hour by having 1-2-1.

It’s really hard when you’re exhausted. Making it as easy as possible may help. And if you still don’t fancy it, that’s ok! It might in a few months, or a year.

It sucks that regular climbing doesn't seem practical anymore. The baby will get more independent though, and eventually it will be big enough to join baby climbing club! For me, I was surprised to find I hadn't actually lost much fitness, despite 18 months out. I don't work out as much, but chasing after the crawler and doing pram naps means I'm much less sedentary, and hefting around my darling 9kg lump has done wonders for my upper body.

Some great advice thank you. A trainer might be a good idea, or at least someone who can leave me with a plan to follow after their input!

What about getting an exercise bike or cross trainer machine at home?

Nursery bugs threw a spanner in my workouts, too! However, the random times when me and little one are not ill, I try to go running with him in the pram on the days he’s not in nursery. I’m also often too exhausted to exercise after a full day of work and getting him to/from nursery (plus not great nights!), so I’m trying to combine my days with him with some exercise.

Sometimes 10 mins a day of Lucy Wyndham Read exercises from YouTube is ok. It’s basic sure, but keep it simple to start with.

There is a lot on your plate and perfect is the energy of good. It took me years to get back into exercising after I had my first, please don’t beat yourself up.

This period of time post partum is such a big pinch point. You are being pulled multiple different ways and it’s really normal that you are so tired and unmotivated. It took me until my little boy was nearer 2 years old before I got a genuinely regular routine (I exercise 4 x a week now!).
A few things that myself or others did that may help:

1. some gyms have a crèche- can you do this on your day off? Someone I know puts their LO in crèche for an hour so they can exercise, then takes them swimming after
2. Run on your allocated evenings. Would seeing a physio be possible to get the injury sorted? Also could you just go for a walk for now whilst you heal the injury?
3. Strength- this is so hard to fit in! You could do body weight exercises at home just once a week for 20 mins to get started, do it in front of the TV. Something is better than nothing. Also see point 2- physio exercises could be done at home too.

Thanks so much everyone who has taken the time to write suggestions and kind words on this thread, I’ve read them all and am very grateful! It’s definitely given me some ideas to try and build manageable stuff into my routine!