All your mental strength/resilience tips please 🙏

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I'm training for my first marathon, in April. Think/hope the training is coming along ok and I should be physically able, but I'm very prone to negative self talk. On big race days I get stuck in my own head, slightly hysterical internally 😅 and really struggle to keep not quit. So I'm trying to work on it in advance.
Any tips from anyone, esp long distance runners? So far I've got (I'm aware of how feeble these are!)
-concentrating on the best performing part, in turn. So when my knee hurts I concentrate on the fact that I'm breathing ok, and when I'm out of breath I concentrate on the fact that my legs feel strong etc
-zoning out, maybe listening to a podcast, for the first half of the run. I find the distraction awful after that, once I'm under pressure, but helpful to not be hypervigilant the entire run.
Don't know if this makes sense, but would appreciate any tips or tricks for keeping mentally strong, however big or small!

It's one of those things you have to practice in training ! Unfortunately, along with testing out kit, gels, shoes and so on. It's never troubled me to the extent that yours does but I try really hard to stay in the moment if I feel those catastrophising thoughts start

Steve Magness - X/insta has some good stuff on the mental side of things.

Buy the post race/run treat in advance

I do this for fell races when there is a good chance the sweeper will be catching me up and everyone else looks super speedy

Then I try not to think about the race at all and instead think about the cake I'm going to enjoy when I've finished

Counting helped me! I haaaaated running but counting my steps got me through, particularly when the 100k ultra got really tough mentally. "1km until I hit the next water station. If I'm going at a good pace, that's 1000 steps" then I'd count 10 groups of 100 steps whilst doing the mental arithmetic.

In hindsight I think I'd lost the plot about 10k 🤣

Enjoy the atmosphere though, as well as focusing on your run.

Good luck!

Steve Magness is a good shout, thank you! Had been listening to Do Hard Things on audible, didn't realise he had so many other books too 🙌

Absolutely love the treat idea, thank you! 💡

I count too ha ha. Definitely helps me in places, though the full 42000 might have the opposite effect 🤣
You did 100k! wowsers 🙌🙌🙌

I have to break it down into chunks. So I’m not thinking about anything beyond the next 5km (or whatever chunk you choose!) I quite like 5km as a marker because in my head it’s a parkrun so I can tell myself it’s just a parkrun to get through, then I’m allowed to think about the next parkrun. I also like to concentrate on breathing for a bit, and find if I can get that right I feel good so my head clears. I do tend to get to a point on a long run where I’m not thinking about anything at all, I can’t bear podcasts but love music and specific tracks can really give me a lift.

Have you got anyone who could strategically place themselves to cheer you on? I really looked forward to seeing my sister 3/4 of the way round and she ran about 20 steps with me to shout silly things of encouragement (mainly about massive glasses of wine) and pass me some jelly babies. I needed a bit of a lift at that point as I was getting tired. Good luck!

Tips I’ve used in the past
‘ focus on the mile you are in’ think only of this mile, no other miles to come, what can you see/hear in this mile

Have fun songs that’s you know will cheer you up if you listen to them and play them when the going gets tough

Embrace the pain. I’ll often talk to myself ( in my head) during a race. A bit like “ ok legs , you hurt, I get it. How can I make you feel better? Do we just need to sit with this pain a moment until you stop your hissy fit”

Have really tasty treats with you while you run, things you will enjoy eating that you look forward to eating.

When it gets really tough play “ Keep showing up “ by Fearless Motivation

The chunks is a good idea. On my most recent long training run, instead of doing a huge unknown loop, I did a usual smaller loop three times. It really helped to think "it's just one more loop, I've done it loads of times". Will take that on board, thank you!

Ok. Realising now that all my own strategies are about avoidance and denial and I need to embrace the present and the pain. Thank you 👍
Combined with treats 🍰

I need distraction. Sometimes other runners talk to you if you meet their eye. Or I make up stories about them or try to decide who in front of me has the nicest trainers.

I sing through entire musicals in my head! I also like to imagine I’m singing them on the Broadway stage 😁

I find an audible book also can help, something that’s not too complicated that you’re struggling to keep up with the plot, but something comforting, perhaps something you’ve listened to before. The literary equivalent of a comfy pair of slippers!

I'm not a fast runner - definitely in the completing no competing part of the pack. but I often find I fall into step with someone and have a brief chat. I ended up doing my only sub-2 half being paced by a guy who started running as recovery from a stroke. He got me through miles 8-12 faster than I'd have done it alone.
And also yes to chunking. Hills I count steps. I'm a trail runner so permit myself to walk 20 steps after 80 paces if I really need to. After walking 20 I have t start running and counting again. Often I find I've reached the top of the hill when I really thought I couldn't.

Thanks very much for the responses, some really good ideas 🙌

The Practice of Groudedness by Brad Stuhlberg is really good. His mantra is “this is what is happening right now, I’m doing the best that I can”.

I developed a few mantras for running, and screenshot a few Instagram posts that inspired me, like “I have trained for this”: “I deserve to be here”
On my second marathon, by the end the only one I could remember was “I am that bitch”, which somehow worked 🤣

Brad Stuhlberg is a guest on this week's Running Won't Save You pod. I haven't listened to it yet, but it sounds like it's going to be a goodie

I get that mental panic too. At the start you can tell yourself to give it time as it takes your body a little while to fully settle in. That often helps me. Definitely breaking it up into chunks. I award myself mini medals and make computer game sound effects in my head 😂. Another tip is to focus on your arms when your legs are aching.

Good luck!

Anyone who tells you the hardest part about marathon running is the running is wrong!! It is very much a mental game.
First time I met one of my now really good friends was post a half marathon where it all went to pot on me at 14km. I remember he told me I let my mind get to me. Absolutely every long run or long race now I try to find the positive to keep me going. I took unwell during my last marathon and I calculated that even if I walked the last 20
miles I would still be well under cut off and that even if I walked it I would still get the same medal. Never was an option to bin it in my head and that alone fired me up. I did cry a bit mind you, but between rain, snot and tears no one could tell🤣

I’ll give it a listen - is that with Allie Bailey? His book was in the recommendations in her book

I listen to music and when I'm struggling I tell myself just to get to the end of the song. I really concentrate on it and usually by the time the next one comes on, I can keep going a bit further.

Yes that's the one

Sounds worth a listen 👍

Glad to know it's not just me! Yes chunks are a good idea I think. Don't know about the video game sounds 🤣🤣🤣

Good idea with the songs, so simple!

Two things really help me:

There is a French saying that goes “jusqu’ici, tout va bien”, which I always translate to “here and now, I’m okay”. I notice how my legs, lungs, etc are feeling right now, and they’re always good enough, right now, to keep going. It’s thinking about the future that screws you up!

Second one, get a friend - chatting while you run, and just being together makes it all half as difficult.