How to get my wife to get healthier.

[Chattyhubby77]

How can I go about getting my wife to exercise more and hopefully enjoy it? She's a little overweight (I find her incredibly sexy) and sometimes struggles when we go on brisk walks. Getting towards 50 now and just want her healthy and around for years to come.

Why are you going for walks with my husband?!

Some weird threads today

In the same way many posters, including me, engage with thread which ask 'how can get my husband become healthier' and offer ideas and strategies.

You can't help someone who's not ready.

My husband is overweight and has bought exercise equipment to tackle this but has yet to use any of it because there's always tomorrow, he is forever eating up all the crap before his diet just to buy more crap to replace it with and the cycle begins.
He wants to do it but isn't motivated, doesn't enjoy walks so I go alone or with the children.
His friends invite him to the gym but he's too self conscious to go and insists he'll go when he's lost some of the weight first.
He buys books on diets for diabetes and never gets round to reading them.
I cook him a healthy meal but he's hungry later so picks on unhealthy snacks.
You just have to look after yourself and hope that one day she'll find her motivation but unfortunately that needs to be her.

If you are already going on brisk walks together then you are doing all you can really. If she's coming on those with you then obviously she's getting some exercise. You could maybe try to make it more enjoyable by not marching ahead or getting upset if she's going slower than you.
It's nice you care about her and want her to be healthy.. but people can be healthy and slightly overweight, as long as they are getting decent amounts of exercise.. and a decent amount of exercise doesn't need to be anything extreme. A brisk 30 min walk a day is enough to keep you going into old age if you are doing a normal amount of steps on top of that.
Does she eat healthy homecooked meals the majority of the time? You could try doing the cooking more and cooking healthy recipes?
But all in all you can't force anyone to adhere to what you believe is healthy.

This is true.
My DH tears ahead of me when walking.. but I recently completed the Yorkshire 3 peaks challenge, 3 mountains over 28 miles in 12 hours. So I don't think my fitness is that bad.
He's just tall and a man.

I think you can help by creating an environment that makes being healthy easier.
If you cook or do the food shop, don't buy snacks, don't cook or serve excessive portions. Always make a salad or at least three veg with every meal so you both fill up on fibre. Always have big tumblers full of water with a meal. Don't drink too much booze and if you do drink, avoid beers - go for wine spritzers, G& sugar free T etc.

Why not suggest training together towards something like climbing one of the three peaks or doing the Camino? That would encourage activity. Or go dancing together - ballroom or ceroc or lindyhop or trad country dancing are all good fun and good exercise. Suggest dates that involve activity - bowling or a weekend trip on the river with kayaks or a scenic cycle or wild swim when the weather is finer.

If you buy her small presents as treats, buy flowers, books, soaps etc not chocolates or cakes. If she says she deserves a treat after a taxing day or week, offer to run her a bath or to line up a funny film she'd enjoy.

I am a bit overweight too but I am amazed at how many friends of my age wheeze and gasp - whether they are thin or heavier than me, when we go on a simple brisk walk. It's worrying. I don't think it is judgemental of you at all to care about your wife's health.

Personally, I’d tell my partner to mind his own business if he tried to “get” me to do anything related to my own body.

I’d expect the same response from him too.

My size, appearance and fitness level are all my own business, and any partner can either like it… or not!

I see being healthy for each other as an important part of a relationship, why wouldnt you want to be able to engage in activities together, enjoy time out and about together without getting knackered and cant walk more than 5 mins or something

Why would someone want to ignore any health issues which might mean you cant enjoy an active retirement together, or have to rely on mobility aids or expect a degree of care from a partner which wouldnt be necessary if you looked after your health.

Im using general you

What does she want?

If you are 6 foot 8 and she's 5 foot 5 then she's never going to keep up with you.

Oy. I keep up very well with my stubby little legs, thank you. He's the one who gets puffed.

(One of us is not quite as tall as that example.)

@VaddaABeetch 🤣🤣🤣

Put shortly - it’s not their body.

I don’t believe anyone should want to be healthy for their partner. They either want to be healthy for themselves, or they don’t - it’s not up to anyone else.

Walk slower and she'll want to walk with you more

What is she currently doing with her time? Caring, housework, an alternative hobby, work, sleep (!)? She is presumably prioritising her chores and free time like everyone else and atm exercise isn't making it on to her to do list.

If you both have loads of free time then suggest doing something fun together. If you don't then the first thing you need to do is step up.

Sorry if I came across as trying to make her do something, I wouldn't attempt to ever make my wife do anything she didn't want to do. Maybe phrased it wrong. Just want us both to be happy and healthy for a long time to come.

Thank you, I don't think caring about someone else's health is being selfish but some of the replies on here would imply it is 🤷