Mental block with getting back into exercise after illness

[Shudacudawuda]

Hi,
I used to exercise regularly, mostly running and pilates, I considered myself to be reasonably fit.
In the last couple of years I was diagnosed with an auto immune condition (graves disease) which put me out of action for the last 18 months. I'm now feeling much better, meds are working well and have the go ahead from the doctor to be exercising again. However I feel like I've developed a bit of an "I can't do it" mind set. When I was ill I was so weak I could barely walk up the stairs. I now feel almost too scared to exercise again.... as soon as I start to find it hard (my fitness has obviously decreased massively after 18 months off) I start telling myself I mustn't push it etc., I feel worried about over doing things and ultimately I feel like I end up not really doing anything effective and I'm not making progress.
Can anyone relate? I'm also 47 and am developing a fear that this is the beginning of a decline into an inactive old age - I HAVE to get back to being able to walk the dog a few miles without being exhausted. But I am so unfit, where do I start?
Can anyone recommend a plan or something I could follow to ease myself back in? Graves disease causes muscle wastage so a focus on strength might be particularly useful.

Your poor thing, that doesn't sound much fun!

If you are struggling to walk the dog at the moment, then why not start there? See if you can gradually build up walking more/further to a point where you can comfortably walk 5k. Then start couch to 5k. You can start weight training at the same time. Just take it easy and be kind to yourself!

"as soon as I start to find it hard (my fitness has obviously decreased massively after 18 months off) I start telling myself I mustn't push it etc., I feel worried about over doing things"

It sounds worth exploring this fear further. What would happen if you pushed it? Is it realistic based on your medical condition? If there's an actual medical risk, it's important to understand that when designing a training program. If not, then this is just an anxiety that you need to learn to push past. It's understandable to become anxious about your body after a serious illness, it takes time to build back confidence.

In your position I'd try to establish a baseline of what I could comfortably do, with a few different activities, including aerobic and strength. I'd exercise at the baseline for a week or two, and then gradually increase the distance/speed/weight every couple of weeks.

That sounds like a good idea.

We found Apple Watches very motivating for doing regular walking etc - some sort of fitness tracker with achievable targets can help some people stay on track.

As you did Pilates before, that sounds like another sensible thing to start with, if you can find a good instructor. Mine is very good at adapting to each persons abilities. Mine is planning on doing more load bearing with my group this year, and uses resistance bands quite a bit so it's not just core.

I'd start by walking, gradually introducing hills.

And generally being more active in ways that aren't necessarily classed as "exercise". Is there a community garden near you where you could volunteer for a couple of hours a week?

Gentle yoga might be something to try as well. But don't try to do everything at once! When you're starting back up, you need to start small and make sure you include rest as you slowly build back up - perhaps consider learning meditation techniques.

I can relate to this as a "runner" and also having an autoimmune disease.

My head will tell me that I'm not up to it but in reality I can do it.

At my lowest, I find couch 2 5k takes the decision to walk away from me and I walk when the app tells me too. I know I can run 5k without stopping but my brain says otherwise. Once I've done that for a while I might do 4min/1min run/walk.

I've also found parkrun invaluable for following an unsuspecting runner and trying to stick with them.

Keep trying!

I had Grave’s Disease and it is horrible. Really knocks you about and the mental health effect is not to be underestimated. I was a semi professional swimmer too at the time.
Just as some encouragement OP, I came back, and was stronger than ever eventually and even won further medals.
Just take each day.

Almost 10 years ago I had major surgery and was told at the time that my fitness levels would drop massively. I kinda laughed and said "well that wont affect me as I am not exactly into fitness, gym, running etc".

A couple of weeks after my op I just went for a walk around the block and felt like I had just attempted to run a marathon as I was completely out of breath and sweating. I continued to do this (generally once dark out) as I was mortified to be so out of breath after a simple walk. I did keep it up and just made it a bit longer every week or so. I did this for 4 months and by the time I was back in work I just kept walking (my walk to work is about 3 miles) and am still doing that years later.

Give it a shot and best of luck. It is tough.

I had a pulmonary embolism last summer and very much relate to this (though I was never all that fit). Huge loss in confidence as well as loss of ability.

I have been slowly increasing my steps, sometimes overdoing it and going back a bit. My confidence and strength on short walks is now much better, but I'm not at all confident on any form of "exercise", just do the occasional gentle yoga video.

I have found the local council gym chain have a "healthwise" programme to help people in exactly this position. You have to be referred by your GP and then get personalised 12 weeks of support. As yet I do not feel confident enough to drive to the venue let alone start properly exercising but I will work on it as a goal. Definitely worth exploring what is available in your area.

Try and do some strength trading before launching yourself into running. You might hurt yourself if you start cold. I find classes are great for getting through the mental barrier just turn up and do what I’m told for an hour.

I suffer from that “I can’t do it” mentality too. And i Haven’t been poorly (glad you’re feeling better!)

Do you go to a gym? Could you afford a PT (an experienced one, not some 19yo lad who can’t understand why you can’t do burpees on week one) who can put a special programme together to get you going? I have one who gears everything around my creaky knees.

Good luck. I really hope you can get your mojo back.

Be kind to yourself.. start slowly and try to build up but any movement is great

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, I feel better already just for having posted 😁, really appreciate it.
Yes I do think a lot of this is based in anxiety. I'm told there's no reason physically not to be getting back to exercise, but there's just a fear inside me when I start to push myself and start to struggle, that I might be setting my recovery back in some way. I am terrified of going back to where I was at the start of the illness, it makes me realise (as a PP said) that there is quite a mental toll to losing good health that you previously took for granted. I'm in an 'invalid' mind set and I need to shake it off.
I think I may look into a PT actually, that's a good suggestion. We could afford it I think and might be worth the investment. I feel like I need someone to tell me what to do, maybe that would take the pressure off my own shoulders if that makes sense, I can outsource the worry and just focus on the exercise.
I feel like what is holding me back is about 30% due to reduction in physical fitness and about 70% fear/anxiety.

Thank you for posting, I am in exactly the same position regarding getting back to exercise. I was also previously fairly fit, I enjoyed exercising but since I was diagnosed with a rare cancer and spent five weeks in hospital after major surgery I jyst can't get back to it. I have other autoimmune issues too which never held me back before but the recovery from surgery and the trauma involved is massive. I'm having trauma counselling after being diagnosed with PTSD in hospital and have tried twice to get back to it since surgery but like you I think I give up too easily. I'm almost just grateful to be alive I think and have accepted that as good enough for now. I'm 52 and I really relate to the use it or lose it attitude about approaching old age inactive. You've motivated me to give it another go.

I'm so sorry @MissSmiley it sounds like you've had a really rough time of it.
Yes let's both give it another go. I feel like it's 'use it or lose it' once you're over about 45 so we have everything to gain and nothing to lose by keeping active.

Can you start with something that is not strenuous? Tai Chi or Qi Gong or a very gentle yoga or Feldenkreis or Pilates class ( not reformer).

Oh I’m glad that posting has made you feel brighter @Shudacudawuda

i definitely agree that a large part of exercise is between the ears. If you can crack that, you are half way there.

Good luck! Finding my lovely PT has been a game changer for me.

You poor thing. I've no experience of autoimmune disease but am recovering from breast cancer treatment and surgery which has knocked me for six and changed my life, I'll never be the same person I was before (not just the surgery but the hormone treatment)

I've had to adjust my expectations and dial it down a notch (several notches actually) and I hate it, I get frustrated not being able to exercise like I used to. BUT I'm still grateful I can go to the gym, run and lift weights. Swimming is another challenge and hopefully I'll be able to start again in a few months after my final surgery (reconstruction) Same with pilates 🤞