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Original poster

Should I join David Lloyds really struggling to decide

22 replies

lisaAnne86 · 26/05/2024 23:39

Hi Mums, Im really torn with this decision and really could do with sounding this out ... I don't have many people to talk to... So I'm currently in the 2 week trial for David Lloyds and I must say I've been really enjoying it but I am really struggling to decide if to keep it or cancel before I am contracted into 12 months....
For me and my son it comes to an eye watering £156 per month.... Why would you pay that much I hear you ask?
For me it is because of the childcare options it includes... I can put my son in a fun group for him like scooter club or athletics and I can then go to a class myself or even just have some quiet time to myself.... Then I get him after and we go for a swim... He is so happy and thriving when we are there... The health club environment is so better and there is also nothing else that offers this service and facilities in my local area
I have actually waited for a long time to rejoin due to financial reasons... But I recently had a tax rebate so I felt I could finally rejoin... All was going well but this week I have found out my partner has significant credit card debt that I wasn't aware of.... So now I'm battling internally...

The reason for this is that I have actually really been struggling mentally with a lot of feelings... He is also hardly home from work I'm the evenings, so I am generally looking after little one on my own... I love him but have felt depleted and hopeless about gaining any 'me time' to just go Zumba or something... I've tried to manage these feelings and have improved, however nothing gives me back the feeling of independence and calmness as the health club membership... When I'm there I don't care if my partner is working late, at the weekend I can go even if he is sleeping in ... This means I don't get angry or resentful at him... It means I am better for my boy.... It means I can sort out my health and believe me I need to do that....

But now with the debts again... I feel it is to luxurious and I should quit while I can and use the money to clear the debts he has... I have such a feeling of dread of our mortgage renewal in 3 years.... And if we have this debt at that time we are a screwed.... (And yes it's that much!).... But is £156 per month really gonna make a difference versus what it could do for my own health and wellbeing....
Please offer kind advice I'm so torn about this....

OP posts:

mummyofhyperDD · 27/05/2024 00:04

It's not your responsibility to clear your partner's debt - doing so will just encourage him to keep running up more debt - I've been there and bought the t shirt
David Lloyd is great for the childcare for small children, your son will enjoy it and you will enjoy the time too. you can also invite guests and have play dates there which is great fun. Do this for you.

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 00:18

My fear is that ultimately it ends up impacting me when we come for mortgage renewal... I'm scared they wouldn't renew or we would get a really bad deal... And I guess feel I should self sacrifice to make sure this doesn't happen 😞

OP posts:

pizzaHeart · 27/05/2024 00:18

How old is your son?
And is he your partner’s son as well?

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 00:21

@pizzaHeart he is 4 years old and yes both our son...

OP posts:

Miley1967 · 27/05/2024 00:21

I think if it helps your mental health and gives you quality time with your son then it sounds like money well spent.

Ineffable23 · 27/05/2024 00:23

If you share a mortgage, while it's not your responsibility to clear his debt, it is your problem.

I am a DL member and I love it. But it's an extravagance.

Can you work out a good and sensible plan to get the debts down with your partner that also includes the £150 per month for DL? If you can then I would be tempted. If you can't, or he won't then unfortunately I'd either have to suck up not joining or leave him if he's not changing.

Stibble · 27/05/2024 00:27

I had a DL membership for a while and it was worth the money, although make sure you resist getting a coffee and snack habit there or you’ll spend loads more, but you can take your own food and thermos. However be prepared for getting out of the membership to require a military campaign, there is a lot of small print designed to make it as hard as possible and to keep sucking your money out while you try and extract yourself - for example I think you have to give 3 months notice so if you want to leave at 12 months you have to tell them at 9, or something. And they take people to court if you just stop paying. However I do think the childcare looks great, and there are so many classes and decent facilities, it can definitely be value for money even at the high price, so I’d go for it in your situation, just do plan your exit in advance.

LiveLove24 · 27/05/2024 00:28

Crap of your partner to run up credit card debt and take away good stuff from you.

what did he do and is he likely to do it again?

im a member and it keeps me sane.

i love it there. Your partner needs to find a way to make the debt back. It shouldn’t fall to you to bail him out.

did this debt appear just as your rebate did? Has he spent your money?

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 00:31

@Stibble this is why I'm questioning now strongly as I am in the 2 week trial... I have 1 week left then I am in contact

OP posts:

pizzaHeart · 27/05/2024 00:36

@lisaAnne86 I would think carefully about this time wise. If he is 4 , I guess he will start school in September and you might be not able to go to the gym so often. Also will he do any clubs/ groups at the school?
By the way I would worry about debt too however a lot can change in 3 years. Maybe you can do membership for one year and revisit how things are later.

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 00:37

@LiveLove24 I think it's mainly work expenses .. like putting customers materials on and then not paying it off for various reasons... Also some truck problems which have resulted in hired vans... I knew there was some money on credit cards, but I did not know the extent or that he was £5k into an overdraft... He was trying to keep it all to himself to 'be a strong man'... It wasn't malicious, just incredibly irresponsible and unorganized ..
I am realising he hasn't been earning as much as he was previously, so although he has been paying his half of the bills... Turns out everything else he spends has been in the cards...

OP posts:

CheeseyOnionPie · 27/05/2024 00:43

Go for it. Sounds like you would make a lot of use out of having the membership. The activities for kids means you get so much more than a normal gym

CircusLifeMadeMeMean · 27/05/2024 00:54

I was a member for a long time but my local club really went downhill. I could never get my children into any of the kids clubs, and on the rare occasions I could, I couldn’t get into the adult classes at the same time.

As the kids got older they complained about how boring the sessions were. They seemed to do a lot of colouring. They weren’t progressing in their swimming lessons at all and the club was very crowded or noisy. We would try and go at family swim time and it was chaotic and loud.

After we left I signed them up for different swimming lessons and they loved them, and also advanced rapidly.

You don’t have to remortgage for three years so if you want to join for a year do. Just make sure you can get space in the classes you want otherwise it becomes a very expensive cafe and soft play!

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 06:47

@CircusLifeMadeMeMean this was also one of my concerns, like I can put him in the class and have the time I need to work out, but it's he really learning any skills etc in the class.... I'm not sure.. he goes to school in September so how quick will he grow or mature and these aged 3 to 6 so become too young for him....
I'm in trial at the eastbourne club and worried that I haven't really seen what it's like as it's the school holiday... I've also noticed that this week there are no evening classes for the children and they said this is because it's the holidays... So is the case for the whole of the 6 weeks holidays as well? .... If yes then that's a problem for me as I certainly don't get to take 6 weeks of work and would have been wanting to use the facilities I am paying for ... But without the kids class, I won't be able to

OP posts:

Riverlee · 27/05/2024 06:57

Before you commit, you need to sit down with dp and work out your finances. Use the budget planner on Money saving expert for income/expenditure. Work out whether you can afford the classes.

Also, look at dp’s business and see what can be done to boost income. Why have the debts racked up? Is it worth getting a low interest loan or 0% balance transfer to reduce interest payments. Is the business making money, or is it time to call it quits, and maybe look around for something else?

Time for some grown-up conversations.

Travellingislife · 27/05/2024 07:10

I love my DL membership but it is expensive and you have to pay extra for kids swimming/ tennis etc. Also having to pay extra for the crèche. At least in my club. That adds up to a lot. While I think it sounds like money well spent you have to work out total spendings if you have to pay extra for lessons. When he starts school you’ll have time to go to the gym without using the crèche. I think you could get a 3 months membership, I found that you can negotiate quite a bit with DL

bows101 · 27/05/2024 07:24

Yes it is expensive, but it sounds like it is good for you and your son. By doing a class and your son doing something then a swim, you are definitely getting your moneys worth. Also, doesn't sound like you have too many treats, so this works as something that is a treat and essential to your wellbeing.
DL is the only gym in my area which offers childcare/child activities and for the people that use it they have no other options , ie partner or family to have the children whilst they work out. Do something for you OP 🙂

Copperoliverbear · 27/05/2024 07:34

Do this for yourself, your not your partners mum, let him grow up and bail himself out, you and your son enjoy your life, if your partner can't afford to enjoy life due to being irresponsible that's his own problem.
Maybe chat to him about it and tell him he needs to get out of it before your mortgage is due for renewal.
Is he really at work all the time or is he somewhere he's running up the debts.
Would you consider asking him to leave, you don't sound very happy and he seems to hold you back ?
X

CormorantStrikesBack · 27/05/2024 07:34

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 06:47

Ime loads of classes are cancelled in all holidays including the summer, adult classes as well as kids. Makes me really cross as we’re still paying the same amount. I complained to the manager and she didn’t get the problem. Told me proudly she’d managed to cancel a third of classes for six weeks. They’re under massive pressure from head office to do this to save the £22 they pay an instructor. You’ll find even in non holidays if classes aren’t full most of the time then they get cut, permanently.

Original poster

lisaAnne86 · 27/05/2024 10:00

@Copperoliverbear yes these thoughts have been going round in my head unfortunately for lat few years... Making me very depressed and damaging all hope and self esteem... There are many other things underneath the relationship side of thing that needs improving if it's to last... But for now I find the most practical solution is to take some self control and have this health club membership because then I don't need to rely on anyone else because I have full autonomy to just go to the club, with my lovely boy as well... It gives me freedom of choice and a space where I can remove myself from my home environment when I need to

OP posts:

countdowntonap · 27/05/2024 10:27

Can you get the rate cheaper if you pay up front? At my gym (Not DL but a health club) it’s £179 per month. However, if you pay the 12 months upfront you get an extra month for free and 10% off the fees. Have the sales team shown all the possible deals to you?

Mynewnameis · 27/05/2024 10:31

I joined and go loads. We spend a lot less on family entertainment now. I love it and won't be cancelling unless I'm bankrupt.

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