Motivation for the unmotivated

[rainbowduplo]

If you are someone who finds exercise easy or dare I say it...fun...I applaud and envy you. I am awful at committing to exercise. Were I exercise's life partner I would be described as flakey at best. We would have long arguments about my inability to commit, and my lacklustre efforts when I did eventually show up. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't put up with me for long, being the motivated sort, and I would soon find myself alone eating pot noodles wondering why I couldn't do better.

In my previous life I would park outside the gym in the morning, so that after work when I had spent a full day trying to find an excuse not to go, the guilt of walking all the way up to the door and then flaking would be too much and I'd go in. Once I'm in it's usually fine...ish...yet even that wouldn't convince me to go tomorrow without parking there.

Right now, I don't have a commute so there is no gym to park outside. In fact since covid, small children and primarily working from home I can't remember the last time I 'exercised'. I cycle almost everywhere on an electric cargo bike and I do try to keep it on the lowest setting unless I have both kids on the back. The kids and I are out every day doing something or another, but it's not really regularly getting my heart rate up. I take the stairs whenever possible, and go hiking on the very rare days of freedom but I am often out of breath. I'm a good 4st heavier than pre kids and covid, and I just don't like it. I'm in my mid 30's, and people say it all gets harder the older you get so I'd quite like to be putting down foundations now.

The last few weeks my youngest (3 in May) finally started sleeping so I thought I'd get up in the morning and go swimming as I used to do a lot in my 20's. When she wasn't sleeping through the night I woke naturally for the day at 6 regardless of what anyone else did, but weirdly when I started getting a full nights sleep I stopped waking at 6, and I haven't been able to bring myself to set an alarm after nearly 6 years of awful sleep and when it's so cold, wet and gross outside. I always tell myself 'tomorrow', but of course tomorrow never comes. First thing in the morning is usually better for me, as by the time the evenings come around I am knackered and the motivation is even lower. It feels like chicken and the egg at the moment, I'm probably knackered because I'm unfit, but in order to get fit I need energy and my reserves are low. Have tried taking iron but it's not offered much of a boost.

If you got this far, well done, you're a more determined soul than me!!

What tools can I use to get myself to workout? I don't mean apps, I mean ideas like when I used to park directly outside the gym and guilt myself into going inside...

I think you’ll find that you have retained and even gained a lot of your strength through your everyday activities- carrying children well past the age they should be able to walk themselves, too many heavy shopping bags to save a trip back to the car…that sort of thing.

The good news is that when you find what you like to do you’ll be starting from a strong place.
So maybe your cardio isn’t great because you haven’t been working your heart muscle.
You’ll pick that up really quickly.

They say the only exercise worth doing is that you can stick at…so you’re gonna have to try ALL the classes.

Or, if you can afford it, book a PT once a week to embarrass you into going. (And also make it fun).

@Bearintheredhat I had to check my post to see if I'd mentioned the fact that I'm always opting to carry the bags in one trip rather than go back and my 3 (size of a 5) year old still loves to be carried. Who knew they were such stereotypical scenarios...!

Thanks for the pep talk, that feels nice to think maybe I'm not quite the flab monster as far behind as I think I am.

ALL the classes. Sounds like a challenge. Maybe I'll make myself a star chart! I was thinking of trying something like bouldering, which could be fit and social. But it's not cardio, and that's the bit I get the impression I should be focussing on.

OP, I had stopped moving. I think I really thought I was fine and didn't need to anymore. Then in a short few months my cholesterol shot up, I developed acute gallbladder problems and learned I have heart disease, probably genetic. I would not have known about the heat disease were it not for the gallbladder ordeal, there are no symptoms for me, so I could easily have carried on with that way of living until I had a heart attack. So my motivation was simply to strengthen my heart. I didn't enjoy it, that was my only motivation.

I aimed for 3 or 4xs a week, 30 min each, and I just made myself do it in the way that I just do laundry, or my job or whatever, I don't wait to feel like doing the laundry or my job so i don't wait to feel like going to the gym. I make a note in my diary each time, so that's like a star chart! Also in the beginning i gave myself credit for just going, so if i only did 19 min, we'll that was 19 more than i would have done so it counted. Then I realised that I was feeling proud of myself for making this smart choice, like I had my own back, could trust myself, etc., I don't know how to explain it. I realised i never left the gym wishing i hadn't gone. That encouraged me further.

I was intending to do classes but i couldn't manage the set times and listening to someone else, i just wanted to get in and get out. So i do 4 machines(15 min each now) the bike, crosstrainer, treadmill and rowing machine. There are different bpm for either cardio or fat loss and I find naturally vary between the machines.

Now that I've gained some ground at the gym I'm feeling really proud. I've got up to 1 hr 4xs a week and I don't mind going. I've also bought my own style of gym clothes - I can't bear lycra.

So, what would be your best reason for font to the gym OP?

That's a great question. My brother died in 2022 from a heart attack, he was 43 and FIT. No symptoms or warning. So that's pretty motivating. Still doesn't seem to be getting me off the starting blocks though.

I think maybe I need to put some alarm reminders in my phone. The swimming thing for example, this morning I woke up at 545 but it didn't occur to me to grab stuff and go swimming (not that it's open today). If I had an alarm going off and a bag packed ready then it would be harder to talk myself out of it and forget.

Seriously well done to you for achieving what you have. It's impressive.

I follow Half of Carla on YouTube. She walks an hour a day. And she said she hated walking. She wasn't motivated to go out in all weathers. But she just made it an unbreakable rule (I think it's part of the BodySlims programme). So she didn't have to be motivated. It was a non negotiable part of her day. She has a kid now and so gets up at 5-6am to fit it in.
So stop waiting for motivation to hit. Just do it.

@mondaytosunday thanks I'll check her out.

I think I need to be more resilient. There have been times I've set my alarm early to go downstairs and work out and my kids beat the alarm by about 10minutes every.single.time. It's like a weird super power they have. They've also done it for holidays, when I leave early for work etc. Genuinely pretty much every time theres an early alarm. They're both very mumcentric and will throw a wobbler if my husband tries to get involved, so I end up trying to work out with them on the couch next to me or asking me questions or hanging off my leg. Or screaming the house down and waking the neighbours to stop me leaving. Not trying to make this sound like an excuse, but when you're already finding it hard to get going stuff like that is like a millstone.

U got it. Just take ur time!

If you WFH then you've got more time than most - what works for me is getting out first thing before I log on for work. Not sure how your childcare works and who drops the kids off etc but could your husband do it on your gym days?

😂 I thought that too but I actually work 2 hours more per week than I have childcare, so I work evenings to make it up. Husband does drop off on my working days so I start as early as possible. But I reckon I could work out before work on those days. That was the plan with swimming. Have the bare minimum childcare as it's so expensive.