I want to feel fit and strong

[BeefyWellington]

Hi - hoping for some advice on where to start.

I'm not bothered about weight loss/number on the scale. I'm happy in my body/how it looks (I mean I'd not mind being a bit more toned either, but that's really not my main motivation).

However I don't feel strong, I lack core strength, my posture isn't great, and I want to be fitter.

I have two small children and I want to feel good running around after them. Not out of breath!

I am also alarmed at how weak I have become. I'd like to feel stronger and more capable.

A bit more flexibility wouldn't go amiss either, but fitness and strength are more important to me at the moment.

I'm almost 40 (if that makes any difference).

But where do I start? Should I book a few sessions with a PT to get me going on the right path (I couldn't afford this long term) or are there apps I could use at home? I can't afford (and don't really like) the gym. Is there any equipment I could use at home? I'd love to lift weights, but seems like it would be expensive to get set up to do this properly. I do have a set of kettle bells and a couple of dumbbells in the garage, but that's all at the moment.

I'm also quite time poor, so I can't spend hours working out every day. There are 2 or 3 days a week when I could do a longer workout, but most days I'd probably only have about 30 minutes.

I'm a bit baffled but all the info I see out there about fitness, I don't know where to start or what advice to follow. I was hoping Mumsnetters might have some wisdom to get me set on the wrong path.

I recommend starting with yoga and core conditioning. I like Yoga with Adrienne on youtube. After a few weeks of that, maybe give couch to 5k a go

Thank you. I'll check out that Yoga recommendation.

I should have said in my Op. I hate running. I don't think it's good for my knees/ankles at all. I did Couch to 5k a few years ago (pre-kids) and I could only run on grass as anything else had my knees in bits.

I have a bike, could cycle perhaps for cardio. I love swimming but it's a bit time consuming.

I do walk with my dog daily, so I'm not totally inactive now, and I have a moderately active job.

Ok so you have plenty of options for cardio. You could also consider HIIT. Joes wicks has vids on youtube. But yeah when i started really using and strengthening my core i felt such a huge difference in how i move its now my #1 focus.

I would start with yoga x1 and cardio x1 each week. Then see if you can work in 10 mins of yoga every day, and a third workout as time goes on. I always think building up is better than setting big goals and feeling like a failure.

Kettlebells are great to get fitter and stronger. There are plenty of free youtube videos, start from there.

oh and if your main goal is strenght you definitely want to concentrate on weights not cardio.

Apologies if this is not your thing, but I’m finding this really helpful

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Strength-Training-Over-40-Program/dp/1646116127/ref=asc_df_1646116127/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=430885974441&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14153828843052200869&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045094&hvtargid=pla-926067844252&psc=1&th=1&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=97419295142&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=430885974441&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14153828843052200869&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045094&hvtargid=pla-926067844252

I always think building up is better than setting big goals and feeling like a failure.

Thanks - that is actually really good advice. I have a tendency to be a bit all or nothing so I'll have a think about how to generally introduce something gradually and not go all in and then give up in a week.

I really didn't do enough with my core after babies, and I think I'm suffering now as a result.

Anything worth a try honestly! It's cheap on Kindle so I might give it a look. Thank you.

Thanks - I'll have a look.

I think I'll need a bit more variety in a long run but a good place to start as you say.

If you like weights, lift weighs. I love lifting weights and love going to the gym to do that. I hate going to a gym to do cardio though. You say you don't like the gym but have you tried going to the gym to do a lifting programme rather than cardio? I'd give that a go. PT to help would be a good idea.

A year or so ago I wanted to feel stronger, started lifting and it's changed my life. I never stuck to exercise before and now it's my favourite thing. And I'm strong.

It sounds like you have everything you need to get fitter, stronger and more flexible.

Brisk walking with the dog and regular cycling at a pace where you can still at a push talk in full sentences will build a base of fitness to keep up with the kids whilst keeping it enjoyable. Focus on frequency, then the duration and only when you’ve nailed the first two, then start adding intensity (e.g. 30s hard cycling, 30 seconds easy x10) with warm up and cool down.

To get stronger, the kettlebells are perfect. Starting with bodyweight squats, you can make the progression to goblet squats (good trainers get you proficient at doing goblet squats before moving onto barbells). Goblet squats, with a manageable weight, will help strengthen the core and posterior chain whilst you gain flexibility in the ankles. You can also do kettlebell deadlifts, swings, shoulder presses etc. I think Strongfirst is well regarded in kettlebell circles.

A PT is a good idea, but the quality is variable. If you want to get good training in proper form, a PT from an Olympic weightlifting gym might be a better bet than a local leisure centre.

I’d avoid HIT workouts in the early days and focus on building the base and basics of strength. HIT should be a less frequent cherry on top rather than a focus. Typically, they’re less enjoyable sessions, and long-term retention is low.

Good luck!

The NHS website have some core workout videos which I found really useful.

I find variety the best way to keep the motivation and interest up. Easier in a gym than at home I find.

For weights check out your local charity shop... I bought a set for £3

Strength training and working with a PT has changed my life. Within a few months I was stronger than ever before. I don't do any cardio, have previously disliked the gym and I am 42 this year.
It's very beneficial for women, especially as we approach menopause.

Youtube trainers are your friend op! Stick your requirements in as the search terms, eg 'low impact core workout no equipment' and see what you get.

I like Heather Robertson, who often does impact hiit training, as short as 10 mins, plus lots of no equipment strength training. I think she also has kettlebell stuff too?

Yoga with Adrienne is good, but very very very gentle - a few notches up in intensity is Yoga with Cassandra, but there are loads of yt yoga teachers so have a look around.

Move with Nicole is pilates based, great for your core.

Another one (a bit strong for me but, goals!) Is Joanna Soh.

Also have a look on mn for old threads on yt trainers, as these will give more suggestions too.

Thank you so, so much for such helpful replies, I really appreciate every one. And will come back and have a proper look once the kids at off to school/preschool.

I've just started going to a weights class at 6.15 am! I'm awake anyway, and it's so good getting in a hour later having already worked out. And I feel really strong.

Obvs early morning class depends on your dc sleep etc. mine are secondary age, and fast asleep, with dh in the house too.

I know you don’t like the gym but I would recommend joining one and having a few PT sessions to get you started and confident in the weights area. I lift. I’m strong. I’m toned and I’m very fit.
I didn’t used to like the gym either but once you know what you’re doing it becomes easier and more enjoyable. If you want to feel strong you definitely should do weights and it’s pretty hard to do at home without a lot of expense.
I would also fit in some yoga and core which you can easily do at home off YouTube

The fact that you mention flexibility and core strength makes me think Pilates would be great for you. I started doing Reformer Pilates classes a few months ago (the scary looking machines) and I absolutely love it. I haven't really lost weight, like you that's not my aim. But my core is stronger, my legs are stronger, I have lost an inch or two from my waist and hips. But mostly I just enjoy it.
It is expensive, but for me it has been really worth it, for those 2 or 3 hours a week I get out of my own head, and push myself more than I would just working out at home.

However it's a relatively expensive option, and requires you living near a class.

So if that doesn't work for you, then there are other things - also I suppose it depends also on how well you motivate yourself - if you are good at pushing yourself and don't have time to go to a class, maybe try and online mat pilates class at home, or get some hand weights and do youtube workouts at home instead.

Pilates all the way. Get a couple of 1-2-1 sessions with a proper teacher and off you go..
Really important to get the basics right then you have endless sessions on youtube at your fingertips.
Dont need a lot of fancy equipment.. a mat if you dont have a carpet or rug.. buy a band.. fold up a towel instead of blocks.
You can fit in a few exercises when you have a few minutes or half an hour...
You can get wrist and ankle weights if you want to challenge yourself.. but again the basics are the most important thing.

As others have said, I would focus on lifting heavy weights. I’d book a few sessions with a PT and let them know that you aren’t interested in doing cardio but that you want to get stronger. They will help you develop a routine using weights which you can then do independently without the PT. Weights work is so good for women- empowering and great for improving bone density (loss of which can be a real problem for women as we get older).