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Original poster

How do you get used to e.g. walking alone in the forest?

41 replies

RequiresUpdating · 21/05/2023 11:26

We're lucky in that we live near a forest. I go walking with the DC there occasionally and DH goes running regularly. I, however, always feel on edge if I'm in the forest alone and can't get up the motivation to learn how to run mainly because I can't convince myself it's safe. I mean, it probably is. I've never heard of any issues around here and DH can't understand where I'm coming from so thinks I'm being pathetic and lazy. Which may be part of the issue!

How do I overcome this irrational feeling? I need to do some exercise, I can't keep up with the DC and I need to walk, I think, with the aim of eventually trying to run as recovery from an operation. Is it just a case of go often enough and eventually you won't jump at every rustle or crack?

OP posts:
pinkgown · 21/05/2023 11:45

Buy or borrow a dog to take with you? Join a walking/jogging group for company?

When we went to Canada I was really nervous on country walks - scared I was going to get eaten by a bear! I think I'd be a bit dubious in the UK if it was woodland with wild boar. It's not irrational to feel you are being watched - birds, deer, squirrels - eyes everywhere LOL.

We have a naked jogger around here that people sometimes encounter (he wears shoes and in the winter a woolly hat ). Evidently he just give a polite hello as he passes and is completely non-threatening. I think the main peril around here are the idiot cyclists that bomb along footpaths (where they have no business being) and don't even bother to warn of their presence by ringing their bells.

Personally I would join a group and if you become more confident later go out on your own.

Thelondonone · 21/05/2023 11:51

I live near a river and canal and run regularly with my mates but stick to roads on my own. It’s ridiculous I know but I’m too scared.

junebirthdaygirl · 21/05/2023 11:58

We live near a forest and l wouldn't run or walk there on my own. I think it's wise not to. When l am there with dh and we meet a woman on her own right out in the middle with no one else around l think: it wouldn't be me. Do what you are comfortable with only. Nothing else . It's supposed to be a relaxing fun activity not a scary prospect.

Twattergy · 21/05/2023 12:01

Maybe take the pressure off about running and just start doing walks for now. I don't agree with others that it isn't safe to walk as a lone woman in the woods. Maybe do some short walks to start with, perhaps on the phone to someone as a distraction? I reckon you'd relax once you get used to the setting the fear is likely worse than the reality.

tatteddear · 21/05/2023 12:02

I walk for hours through the country side near us on my one (or with dogs). Tbh the incidence of crime in the rural countryside is vanishingly low. I rarely see another person.

CindersAgain · 21/05/2023 12:02

Can you run anywhere else instead? Somewhere a bit more inhabited?

TheChosenTwo · 21/05/2023 12:02

I love walking/running through the woods/forest on my own, have my headphones on too! I don’t go when it’s dark because I’d not be able to see a thing, but I find it really liberating to be honest. Just a feeling of being totally alone with my thoughts and listening to music.
Maybe as a pp said, borrow a running dog if you think it would help having some company.

midgemadgemodge · 21/05/2023 12:06

Realistically your husband is at a much higher risk than you

But You have been taught from an early age to be scared , and all around you people will tell you it's dangerous whereas boys aren't taught to think like that

Small steps - plan a route that doesn't go far, let your dh know, you could even agree to message him at regular intervals ( for a sneaky walk ) until it starts to feel normal

Don't go at the same time
Learn who is normally about

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/05/2023 12:10

I grew up in the country so I’m happy to do this.

I think it’s incredibly sad that women don’t, especially as the reality is it’s pretty safe.

However, you feel how you feel, and you don’t want to tangle yourself up in this and not actually get exercising.

Can you join a running group or find an exercise partner and try some gentle baby routes as a PP says?

I guess beyond that the main thing is just not to pass the fear on to any daughters you have.

Dalekjastninerels · 21/05/2023 12:13

I wouldn't, better safe than sorry (or dead)

midgemadgemodge · 21/05/2023 12:14

I suspect you are at more risk of being in a serious car accident than being attacked when out for a run but you still get in a car

You are certainly more at risk in your home than outside it

Risk perception is barmy round here

Gettingbysomehow · 21/05/2023 12:16

I borrow my friends big dog. I don't feel safe in the woods alone.

Theysoughtitwiththimbles · 21/05/2023 12:17

I understand your anxiety, but objectively it is more an irrational anxiety than one based on statistics. I would start small and work from there, as advised above. Avoid walking when it’s dark and perhaps start somewhere a bit busier on a Saturday morning rather than midweek when places are empty.

for what it’s worth, I’ve walked alone almost daily for the past 30 years (roughly from age 10) pre dating mobile phones including through very empty rural woodland and the larger London wooded areas and I’ve never encountered any real threat (although I used to spook myself as a teenager thinking of ghost stories!)

User19844666884 · 21/05/2023 12:18

What specifically are you scared of? (Genuine question).

Are you scared of being attacked by a man. Scared of getting lost and risk of exposure? Scared of getting injured where you are not near people who could help? Scared of animals? Scared of “spooky/creepy” things?

If you can identify what it is you are scared of it will be easier to make a plan to tackle it.

2bazookas · 21/05/2023 12:19

Consider the outfit. Wear sensible footwear for walking on rough/wet terrain without slipping stumbling; (not sandals) don't wear earpods or a hood that covers your ears, don't wear a scarf round your neck. Carry your keys and phone zipped in an inside pocket.

If you are really, really anxious, carry a personal alarm in your pocket. Now you know you can always instantly attract attention/summon help, no need to worry.

Consider your behaviour. Don't walk listening to music or staring at a phone. Don't walk with hands in your pockets. If you meet people just nod and say goodmorning (a calm greeting signals normal social confidence).

Consider how you move. Walk at a steady, comfortable unhurried pace in the middle of the track. Head up. Feel your breathing and enjoy it. Take in scents. Listen to the birds. look around with pleasure; observe the plants and trees. By being aware of nature your sight and hearing is also alert to loose dogs , bikes, the footsteps of runners, distant voices, people ahead and behind. You'll soon start to recognise regular walkers, dogs, joggers.

Set yourself an easy achievable target; walk for 20 minutes then head for home. As you get fitter you can walk for longer and further ; walk more briskly, swing your arms.

ScribblingPixie · 21/05/2023 12:19

Realistically your husband is at a much higher risk than you

Why do you say that?

Anewuser · 21/05/2023 12:20

I’d see if you could borrow a neighbour/friends dog. I love walking my dog by myself through the forest and even do it in winter during the night, wearing my head torch. Definitely more confidence the more you do it.

pennycoins · 21/05/2023 12:20

I understand your anxiety. I live in the new forest. I regularly talk the kids out for walks, with and without partner. I don't think I'd be able to do it solo though!

Yes, slim chance of anything happening but I don't want to risk that. It's shit!!

NBLarsen · 21/05/2023 12:21

If it's the rustles and cracks - forest noises - that are scaring you, a way to overcome that would be to go into the forest, find a nice place to sit still, then just watch. Take a flask of tea and snacks! The longer you are there, the more you will see, birds, insects, plants, forests are amazing and bursting with life! You'll find that the rustles are bird's searching for food, etc.
It takes time to adjust your mind because we are all conditioned these days to live in fear of someone jumping out out us, but that so rarely happens. Learn to love the forest, you are so lucky to have it on your doorstep, I am jealous!

Plottingspringescape · 21/05/2023 12:24

It doesn't sound like a rational fear, as you are clearly no safer with DC than on your own, and it sounds like you feel OK when they are with you? That said, you feel how you feel, and it is hard enough to motivate yourself to exercise, without battling fear as well, so is there some other sort of exercise you can start with, running on a treadmill or similar?

midgemadgemodge · 21/05/2023 12:24

ScribblingPixie · 21/05/2023 12:19

Realistically your husband is at a much higher risk than you

Why do you say that?

Because that's what all the data shows?

Something like
9 in 10 assaults on women are by someone they know and half by their immediate partner
And men are ? 3 times more likely to suffer a violent attack

(UK)

littleburn · 21/05/2023 12:40

midgemadgemodge · 21/05/2023 12:06

Realistically your husband is at a much higher risk than you

But You have been taught from an early age to be scared , and all around you people will tell you it's dangerous whereas boys aren't taught to think like that

Small steps - plan a route that doesn't go far, let your dh know, you could even agree to message him at regular intervals ( for a sneaky walk ) until it starts to feel normal

Don't go at the same time
Learn who is normally about

The 'men are at higher risk' stats relate to being killed and are greatly influenced my crime in cities, such as knife attacks. Women are much, much more likely than men to be victims of rape, sexual assault and crimes such as flashing, and these crimes are much more prevalent than murder. Also we are physically more vulnerable than men, who at least have a chance of fighting of a male attacker. I completely agree about keeping things in proportion and not letting it stop you from doing what you want to do, just that it's not unreasonable to be concerned about the risks men pose to lone women.

midgemadgemodge · 21/05/2023 12:54

Go to the ons

Read the data

Live your life in fear if you must but at least try to understand the risks

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 21/05/2023 12:55

I grew up in a place where I was far more at risk in my home than if I was in a forest, woods, fields, moors, mountains, beach.

I am very happy to be out in any environment on my own, feel very safe and very comfortable. But especially in rural places, isolated areas, miles from anywhere, I’m very often the only person for miles, there’s nothing to be concerned about. I enjoy wild camping and long distance hiking and being alone with my thoughts. It not that I’ve never been assaulted or intimidated in public places, I have. Just nowhere near as many times as I have in my own home.

DumboLives · 21/05/2023 13:01

I am much happier in a forest by myself than a high street to be honest. It is very rare for attacks to occur in the countryside. You are more likely to break something tripping over a root.

But maybe build up to it. Try a short run but have tracking on your phone. There is a SOS alarm you can get which will go off if it detects a fall. Or do a circular run with your DH but in opposite directions so you meet him at some point of the route. Alternatively get a 10 minute head start on a run and see when he catches up with you.