Finding it hard not being able to exercise

[Mamabear04]

I'm feeling very shit about myself. I'm 9 months post partum with my second child (DC1 is 3.5yo). I'm still recovering from injuries from the birth to the extent I've gone private with a women's health physio. I used to run every week, not serious but usually 5k a couple of time a week before kids, very into hill walking and climbing. After DC1 I had a hard recovery from a c-section but DH was very supportive and I had time to focus oh myself, my recovery and got back to a decent fitness level (thank God for muscle memory!) Fast forward to now, I have no time to myself even with the strong support of DH (2 kids is exhausting!) I can't run still, I'm sleep deprived, feel very fat and just don't even have time in the day to go out much on account of DS will only really nap in his cot otherwise he is too distracted to fall asleep. I need to then feed DD lunch before taking her to nursery (afternoons) and then DS naps again when we get home. I feel so defeated and just feel myself getting so much more unfit and podgy and I can't even do anything about it. I've been trying to do 30 mins on the crosstrainer and 1km rowing at the gym but I'm lucky if I get there once a week and it just feels like DD brings home a new bug from nursery every week so I feel shit most of the time. I'm really sorry for being so negative and down but I just don't feel like myself and I am very much missing my endorphins from exercise. It feels like a fight to be able to do any exercise. I don't know how to stop this rut!!!!

Is it the injuries that are still stopping you from running? Could you manage some Japanese slow jogging? There's a YouTube video of it somewhere. I was wondering if you could drop your DD off at nursery, strap baby into one of those sporty buggies and give it a go. Or there may be a mother and baby class - yoga, walking, something like that.
I have to be honest and say that my fitness levels plummeted when I was at the same stage as you and I did not follow this advice. You will get through it, but I know it feels crap right now.

A lot of my exercise when I had 2 those ages was walking to & from toddler groups.

I follow a fab trainer on YouTube called Nourish Move Love and she does loads of HIIT style stuff but really focusses on post partum workouts. They're often pretty short too. You need dumbbells and a mat but you can do it from home so much less time than going to the gym.

Don't run too soon - you'll regret it in the future!!

@Crikeyisthatthetime yes, I had a 3rd degree tear and things are not back to normal yet. My physio said that I'm not even aloud to go climbing yet! I've found even running about with my toddler at the park can take its toll and be too much. We don't have a running buggy but we do have a baby backpack we use when we go hill walking so I guess I could take him for a long walk. The only trouble is I'm absolutely knackered by the afternoon and then it usually falls on me to have dinner ready when DD get home for nursery. It's nice to know you were the same, makes me feel a bit better. When did you start to get back to exercise after young kids?

@lljkk that's what it feels like at the moment! But because everyone is always sick at the moment I've been taking the car loads so it just feels like even walking hasn't been happening!

@FusionChefGeoff I'll look this up. I was doing YouTube pilates every afternoon and felt a real buzz from it but my physio said to stop for the time being as my pelvic floor is still not strong enough and she thinks I won't be doing the exercises right. Thanks for telling me not to run too soon...when I was typing this last night I was thinking "oh fuck it, just try running on the treadmill this week!" It just feels like it's taking foreeevvvvveeerrrrr!

Get a running buggy? One of baby's naps can be in the buggy while you gradually walk/run back to fitness.

Do not start running until you are fully recovered. Which by the sounds of it could easily be another year.

You need to find alternative ways to exercise without giving yourself more prolapse issues and a difficult future.
For now it's probably gentle stretches and gentle walks. Healthy food for recovery. Then maybe build into
Swimming? Rowing machine? Cycling? Yoga?

@Fatat40 I really hope it's not another year till I'm better! I think I might cry!!!!

You really, really have to be patient I'm afraid. Following your update, you need to follow your physio's advice. There are chair based Pilates exercises, and there are also wheelchair exercises which I did when I broke my ankle. But only if your physio says it's ok. I know a year seems like a long time, but it would be even worse if you did more damage by doing too much too soon.

It gets better , honest, much better

As preparation for when you can do more , you talk about being podgy - I'm guessing as a result of no exercise- work on that so when you can exercise you are in reasonable shape

With me that meant cutting all the treats that were cheering me up because I couldn't get any exercise

And do your physio recommended exercises as the most important thing in your life

Has your physio gone through 'the knack' with you about pulling up on pelvic floor and in on lower abs at the same time? That supports you whilst you do other exercise.

And yes you must wait otherwise you'll end up incontinent by the time you're 50 which isn't very good for running either

But here's one of the post partum workout series from Lindsay:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpa0d6IJAhbhcctb8FSSC-0EZzE-UVRRC

Do you know if you've got a diastasis or just pelvic floor issues?

Look at options you can do at home- YouTube classes or an online subscription for something that you’re able to do safely. I used to go to the gym, now I do Les mills online at home because I can fit it in when it suits me rather than having to go a specified times and I can pause it if I need to (or turn it off completely 😳). Also not
weather dependent! There are static cycling classes online if that would be something safe for you. Or yoga/Pilates/tai chi/low impact.

If you want a 60 day peloton app trial for free then there's loads on google or PM me

They have strength classes - post natal, and also barre lying down which would be fine as it's all working your bum and legs!
Also post natal and pregnancy yoga
Plus walks, bodyweight classes, lots of stuff and upper body only workouts

Please stop being so bloody hard on yourself. You’ve got years ahead of you to get your fitness back. Let your body heal properly first.
Check with your physio as to what they suggest for you to do at home for now.

I had a 3rd degree tear - 3c. I'm a cyclist, run, walk and generally enjoy being active. I was cycling right up until I went into labour. So it was a huge blow to me to have such a significant injury. It's utterly shit! I only have DS, so wasn't trying to juggle a baby and a toddler too - that in itself is bloody tough, without a horrid birth injury. Please don't be hatch on yourself. I do get how crap it feels though.

You've done absolutely right with the WH Physio. I was lucky as I got one on the NHS within a few weeks. I'm an absolute sod though and did waaaay too much too soon. I frequently pushed too hard and paid for it. I was super lucky as my WH Physio was a competitive cyclist herself - so understood my 'need' for exercise. I remember my GP being horrified when I said I was cycling 20 miles at 3 weeks post partum. The physio was able to make realistic suggestions, rather than saying don't. Just having someone involved in my care who understood helped!

In all honesty it took me maybe 4 years to fully recover. I did not rest and keep my feet up to the extent I should have done though. It would have been quicker otherwise. I ended up with a mild prolapse which resolved with time. I can run with no issues now and no issues after.

I remember having aqua jogging recommended to me... not sure how possible that is for you. There's a lot more commitment involved than just chucking running kit on. I ended up swimming quite a bit. I could thrash up and down and get my heart rate up, without impacting my knackered pelvic floor.

Is it possible for you to do something early doors before DH is up? Even if it's just a walk, by yourself. Could you find a gym that opens early? I always found getting my exercise in early was the only way. It was horrific getting up, but once I'd done the exercise I'd got up for, i was on top of the world. I guess it depends what your nights are like.

@FusionChefGeoff yes the physio has started me on 3x 5 pelvic floors a day. The first few weeks were breathing exercises to relax my pelvic floor. The problem is I had a 3c tear that has resulted in the muscle strength in my pelvic floor being unevenly balanced hence that needs to be fixed before climbing/pilates etc.

@AnxiousShep it's hard not to get frustrated at my body! I know I should be kinder to myself.

@stinkythefool how on earth could you even sit on a bike seat after that!!! I had a 3c tear too and could barely walk any distance at 3 weeks post birth! Thanks for sharing your story. 4 years is such a long time. I had a c-section with my first baby and did way too much too soon (climbing big hills by 3 months post partum) so wanted to take it slower this time but its taking much longer than I expected and I just feel so down about it. I also have a small prolapse and it feels worse when I have my period. Did you get that too? I think early mornings are too difficult as my toddler and baby tend to get up about6.30am and then it's non stop from there. I've started trying to go to the gym one evening a week which is nice but then I feel off for the next coupe of days. I generally only do 30 mins gentle cross trainer. It's so frustrating!!!