How to quit calorie counting

[Prorespawner]

Hello Mumsnet. I am a long time reader and first time poster but I couldn't think of a better place to ask for help.

So I had my first (and only) child in the dread year of 2020. And like many of us, I put on weight in pregnancy and in the following lock down. In the last 12 months I have achieved and exceeded my fitness goals. I have lost 15kgs, and about 8-10% body fat. I have built a good amount of muscle. My BMI is nicely sat in healthy. As of yesterday I managed to do a chin up for the first time since my early twenties. Something that was about a decade ago. I am so proud of myself for all of this!

Now to get the point. A lot this was achieved mostly through calorie counting (and going to the gym 2-3 times a week) I have counted and weighed out pretty much everything I have eaten in the past year. Counting calories in my safety belt.
My son is now 3 and he notices the world around him. I don't want him to see me counting and weighing ever thing I eat. I don't want him to see my searching menus for something that fits my daily allowance. I want him to see me as someone who has a healthy relationship with food and someone who enjoys exercise .

Has anybody quit calorie counting and still successfully achieved their fitness goals? To be clear, weight loss is done. I want to build muscle and fitness and be able to fun faster for longer. I want to keep up with my crazy little boy at softplay and trampolining and hopefully live to a ripe old age and do the same with my grandkids but I want to do this without being a slave to numbers. I know what a healthy diet is and I have a great fitness routine. But how do I take off that safety belt?

Any advice for the next step on my fitness journey?

Im following for replies. I’ve always struggled when I’ve stopped calorie counting as I must just gradually slip in to over eating.

A group I'm in suggests 3 plates, 2 snacks.

Protein first, lots of veggies (don't have to at breakfast) then small helping of carb. That's a meal/plate

A snack fits in your hand and ideally is fruit or has protein

An alcoholic drink takes off one snack from what you have available.

Weighing some food at home might not be a problem going forward. I think most people weigh out pasta and rice with a cup or scales to make sure they've made the enough and no one would make a cake without scales. It doesn't have to be about calories counting, but about healthy eating, following recipes and saving money/electricity. I don't think any of those would give him a complex!

I've been doing Fast800 and am getting to the maintenance stage where we don't count.

Firstly congrats on achieving your goals. The Fast800 method is to eat normally but with the option of 1 fast day.

Normal eating is:

Healthy mediterranean diet, some of the principles are healthy fats like eggs, olive oil, full fat greek yoghurt, avocado, nuts etc., keep bread limited (I emphasise this as it is my weakness) , half fill the plate with veg, carbs are fine but wholegrain and portion controlled.
2 or 3 meals a day
If still hungry fruit AFTER a meal as otherwise blood sugar spikes
Snacks are veggies only
There are some treat recipes on the plan, like almond and orange cake etc, what they have in common is they don't get their sweetness from added sugar.
Have a non eating window of 14 hours ideally. After 12 hours the body has used up sugar from food and energy from muscles and liver so for 2 hours it will happily burn fat.

Obviously some days will be higher or lower, so there is the option of 1 fast day, which is 2 or 3 small meals of 300-400 calories each. That would see any extra pound being reset.

In a couple of weeks I will move to 6 normal days and 1 fast day. That will be 1900 calories for maintenance on a normal day. I'm looking at 130g protein as like you I want to build muscle, 70g fat which is the max recommendation anyway, and 190g carb.

How I move away from calorie counting...I guess once I feel secure in the knowledge of my meal plans, the right portion sizes to achieve maintenance calories, confident in intuitive eating.

I hadn't actually considered the fact that weighing food out for portions is actually pretty normal day to day.
Definitely got me thinking. Thank you for that

I think the main thing is what you say. You know, 'I've been bad and had some cake', 'Oh I mustn't eat that or I'll get fat', 'ugh my belly is disgustingly fat'. As long as he can't see what's in your head I don't think it matters too much.
If you've been dieting for a year then you must be able to guestimate calories pretty well. So maybe start there. Instead of weighing everything just approximate your calories. Maybe have a target a little below maintenance if you're worried about over estimating. See how it goes.

Yeah, I think you might be right there. I already try and keep that balance. Like if we go out for ice cream, we all have ice cream, I just make sure I have budgeted for it first. My son of course doesn't know I have budgeted for it
I never had a good fitness role model growing up so honestly i am really having to muddle through what that looks like. It's a scary thing, moulding a whole human life