Ice skating excuse

[wowmummy]

Hi all,

So trying to keep short but detailed.

Family of 5
Me,DH, son - 5, twin girls - 3

We bought our own ice skates for comfort as we wanted to learn to go to the family disco skates etc together

DD1 has lessons, I go on with her as she's 3. She gets upset if DH goes on with her and asks for me. I am not a confident skater at all, DH is better and faster and all that jazz.

Anyway yesterday... so the lesson is 9:15 but public skating isn't till 10:30 so I take DD1 and DH comes later with the other 2. After a bit the kids want a drink etc so I sat on the side whilst DH went round. He's going backwards and we are all clapping like bloody seals 😂 I said can I have a go and put my skates back on. Went to get on the ice and he got his phone out to film me - presumably to get a 'fall' video although he disputes this as he said he wanted to film me 'skating off'. Which he point blank knows I can't do. So going round trying to stay away from the sides I finally got back to him and said please don't film me. Im really trying I don't need it. But on reflection, sitting there when he was going round there are so many women that whizz round - thinner, prettier, younger and impressive skaters. Basically a lot more to look at and appeal. Then there's me in a bloody puffa coat going as slow as a snail and literally just good for a laugh. It's embarrassing and I said what happened to supporting each other. Just cba with it all.

So next week my plan was to 'forget my skates'. However I need them for DD1s lesson?? So what can my excuse be not to skate? Unless I said to DD1 that DH has to take her and I go later with the other 2 kiddies and 'forget' my skates but I don't want to upset DD1! But I couldn't do that every week. Help! Suggestions anyone??

My DC is now a young adult. iPad does a ‘your memories’ thing where pics/videos from the past scroll on. I’m in hardly any because it never occurred to DH to get his phone out. It makes me sad, it almost looks like I was never on any days out.

Get your skates on and enjoy it. I promise you nobody is looking at you or thinking about you. The only way to get better is to practice. How would you feel in a year or two when your whole family is whizzing around whilst you sit out because you never improved beyond this point?

You sound very uncomfortable with ice skating as a lot would be. Your DH needs to take over this activity all together, and you can either watch or have time to yourself (don’t pander to DD ‘getting upset and asking for you’).

Book yourself in for a lesson too!

Book yourself a lesson! I did them as a teenager, just 6 group ones and you don't forget

Don’t make up lies. Tell him not to film you and mean it.

Why don't you get lessons for yourself to improve your confidence? It sounds like this is going to be a family 'thing'. Why is only 1 DC having lessons?

Talk to him about not filming you until you have more confidence. But it sounds like you all want to improve to do this activity as a family, so if that’s the case you should keep going as that’s the only way to improve. Don’t worry about what others think, everyone is a beginner at some point.

I think ice skating is mostly about confidence. Basic ice skating anyway! I had lessons in 6th form and the confidence they gave lasted. I know I can skate so I don't have that wobbliness that comes with nervousness even though I'm not very good.

have a few lessons! Finding excuses and not doing it isn't going to help of this is something you hope to do as a family going forward.

If the rest of the family enjoy it book some lessons so you can join in with confidence. Don't sit out because of the way you think you look, that is miserable, you will look back and regret it.

In 20 years time would you rather see a video of you wobbling around on the ice laughing and having fun with your kids and your husband as a family or a video of your husband and kids having fun while you sit to the side on your own?

I guarantee that in 20 years time you won't look back and think you looked frumpy/fat/rubbish you will look back and wish you still looked so fabulous and regret not having more photos with you in!

Do you really want to be left out of a family activity as the DCs get better?
My DH used to take our DS to the swimming pool at weekends when DS was little. I stayed at home with disabled DD. One day DH came home and said "I can't take DS anymore as I can't teach him anything " (as DH had never learned to swim properly). The solution - I sent DH for adult swimming lessons. DS also had lessons.
Book yourself a lesson or two to get your confidence up. Then if DH films you again you'll be able to marvel at how far you've progressed.

Tell your arse of a husband that he is not respecting your wishes so he can do the skating from now on.
If he has a whinging child to deal with he can delete the video, stop undermining you, & listen to you as a supportive husband.

Ha! I have a video of me skating - well, pushing my kid on their penguin or whatever it was - that "D"P made. He added Flight of the Valkyries music onto it. Bastard.

Either you want to learn OP/attend, or you don't. Don't make excuses, be honest.
If you think it will be better for DD1 to be on the ice with a safer pair of hands then insist on that.
If you want to go round on your own for a lap, tell him not to film you.
It is either a family thing for all of you, him doing all three on the ice while you smile and wave or he does it all.

Yeah I did think about book an intensive course to get some confidence. He did put his phone away but when I said I didn't like the fact he was filming me he said it was for me pushing off. It wasn't he's just point blank lying and I know it.

My other dc don't do lessons as they aren't interested in it like DD1. She is like a natural figure skater. My son and DD2 learn with the frames etc in the public skating with the coaches skating round but they don't eat, sleep , breathe it like DD1. She walks around in her skates at home - with blade protectors on obviously - and wants to wear them to bed! DD2 does dancing and son does swimming and we go swimming as a family after as well so the girls can swim already.

DH likes to go round by himself like I say he is better and faster but there's a lot more people there better, thinner, more attractive than me to look at - like I say I'm the one to video for a laugh. I feel stupid just sitting there with the kids. Like out of place compared to other women. That's my insecurity coming out though that I'll never be that thin or have a perfect bum or something 😩

That might actually be the point really, he enjoys it more skating on his own, like he will put his headphones in and go fast. He's not stuck with me bumbling around and 3 kids learning as that's slow isn't it?

I think if your insecurity and unhappiness with yourself is making you make a mountain out of this non issue- I think you need to do something about it.

your husband might have been being mean and trying to film you falling over. Equally, your lack of confidence might be making you think everyone is laughing at you.

if you don’t like your bum- do some weight training
if you aren’t happy with your bigger body- weight loss
hate your puffa coat- get a new coat

Suprima I thought ice skating would help with weight loss, I am already loosing weight anyway. But how to be younger? 😂😂😂 they are 18 and I'm 34

This is spot on.

If it doesn’t work, skate over his phone.

Zooming around fast is not impressive, he just looks like a show off.

Get lessons and you'll soon best him.

I completely understand where you're coming from. It's natural to feel a bit self-conscious when you see others who seem more skilled or impressive on the ice. However, it's important to remember that skating is all about enjoying yourself and spending quality time with your family.

Here's a thought: instead of feeling discouraged, why not take this as an opportunity to improve your own skating skills? You mentioned that your husband is a better skater, so why not seek his guidance and support? Invest in a good pair of skating shoes that provide stability and comfort. Practice as much as you can during public skating sessions and gradually build your confidence on the ice. You might surprise yourself with your progress!

As for next week, rather than "forgetting" your skates, why not try a different approach? Perhaps you can explain to your daughter that you'd like to spend some one-on-one time with the other kids while she has her lesson with your husband. You can engage in fun activities with them at the rink or explore other parts of the facility together. This way, you're still involved in the skating experience without feeling pressured to skate yourself.

Remember, the most important thing is to have fun and create lasting memories with your family. Keep supporting each other, and don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great, and with practice, you'll become a more confident skater in no time!

Enjoy your time at the rink and embrace the joy of skating together!

This! It’s not right of him to film you when you don’t want him to.

Your husband sounds like a dick (and tell him to take the headphones off - it’s dangerous and particularly in a public session). You sound lacking in confidence. Do lessons on your own separately to your daughter and stick with it. You will be improving hugely every day.

ZOMBIE