Really need motivation

[BeardyButton]

I do not know where to start…

I was always reasonably fit, healthy weight, energised etc. But about 5 yrs ago I had a trauma and since then I ve just basically become completely unbalanced.

everything has changed about me - I ve put on about 6 kg. I look exhausted. I feel exhausted. I feel ill A LOT. Some days it’s hard to get out of bed. I’ve tried counselling (hated it). I’ve had blood tests (all normal). I’m on SSRIs. Not sure they really help. Sometimes I think I need them. Sometimes I think they’ve anaesthesed me and made me less of who I am, if that makes sense.

I want to get back to ME! I don’t think it helps that I ve hit 40 and think I might be peri menopausal.

The only thing that helps is horse riding (no idea why). I can only do this once a week at the moment. I LOVE it. Being around horses. They fill me with calm and happiness.

Basically I need help! I have spurts of trying (Adrienne, bit of running etc). But then reach for the chocolate and find myself in bed again. Thankfully I can often work from bed…

Any advice? I need a life overhaul. But let’s start with exercise and diet. How do I go from where I am (a depressed exhausted unhealthy person) to where I want to be (get my thirst for life back).

I don’t want the man who traumatised me to win…. He’d love the idea that this is who I am now!

Can you spend more time with horses? Volunteering at a charity? Mucking out? Maybe look at horse centered therapy for trauma. It sounds like the more you are in the horsey zone, the better you will feel. Try YouTube for horse videos. Best of luck.

Great ideas in the previous post.

I did couch to 5k and that was great for getting back into exercise. Depending on where you live, getting out in the fresh air is so good for mood as well as the actual exercise.

Thanks! It’s my work which holds back the horsey time. I also feel guilty spending family time/money…. Although I still do it!

couch to five k is a great plan.

Don’t feel guilty-that time and money is helping you to be a better mum, and even if it wasn’t it’s really important to do things you enjoy. Modelling that to your kids is great. My mum used to go out to aerobics while I was growing up (back in the 90’s so full on leotards etc!) and I never thought badly of that.

I think you are right. I TRY to hide all this mental darkness from family but the mood is lighter and there are more smiles and laughter when I ve been horse riding. I used to be happy a lot… so much joy to share. I really jst want to get back to that.

if it helps motivating you, a strong core will make you a far better rider? Adriene has a yoga for core playlist which is gentle but quite effective I think!

@BeardyButton, I am sorry you are having such a tough time. I think it is great you have found something that brings you joy though - and hope you can build out from there.

I agree with pp about outdoor exercise. I'd suggest ether c25k or even "just" walking. Walk in trainers and maybe gym stuff, walk fast, hills, get sweaty, lose yourself in a good audiobook, music, or take a friend and talk stuff through if that's your bag - sometimes it is easier to talk like that when walking.

You've been through a lot - I would start with something you can definitely do regularly and enjoy, so whatever that means for you at your current fitness level - and build gradually - rather than something else that looms. If you could find time to volunteer with horses, that would be great too I think. Your family want you happy and healthy, I am sure.

Thanks everyone. It does motivate me. I m really trying to find fitness strength and balance - I want find happiness but also be a better rider.

walking - you ve reminded me that there is a beautiful brood mare in a field about twenty mins walk from here. I ll go see her today. Clearly she’s not mine, so I don’t bring treats but I do talk to her and she allows me to give her a scratch.

Hi op. No advice on your specific situation but all I can say is you need to get over needing to feel 'motivated'. You just have to do it. Like going to the dentist.

Commit to x times a week and don't make excuses.

I have an hour's exercise to do today - I have so many other things to do and could make excuses but I've just got to fit it in.

Being ready to do something is a decision not always a feeling

That is very very good advice!

I've been doing Noom since March and I really rate it.

The psychology bit has really helped me to change my motivation for eating better and exercising more.

Walking is great exercise. Perhaps set a target to walk each day. Start small like 1000 steps and go from there. Small increases each day

That's the kind of thing that motivates.
I'm on C25k at present due to injury, but from home/ short drive, I can get out to fields and greenery which is so much more motivating than pavement pounding.

My small suggestion for you is do simple workout, and do meditation regularly. This will surely boost your body energy and also improving your mind health. Early morning breathing exercise is also motivate you. So try this trick in your daily life.