How to improve self discipline

[PandaDad]

Hi, I'm struggling with eating less. I'm eating 4 meals a day which is making me go above my calorie limit and so I'm gaining weight rather than losing it. My self discipline is apparently low, and I'm embarrassed by it. What things can I do to improve on my self discipline?

It's not about self discipline though, you need to find movement that you enjoy and then make that a habit.

Self discipline doesn't last, and it's a negative way to approach it ie 'I must make myself exercise even if I don't want to'.

If you enjoy walking, then do that. If you like to dance then find some dance based movement. Do what makes you happy.

The same applies to food, find nourishing food that you enjoy eating. Don't treat it as a punishment but as a way to fuel and energise your body.

You can't punish yourself thin, because even if you manage it you will be miserable. Think about what you can add, not what you should take away or deny yourself.

Totally agree with these comments. If I think about losing weight, I eat more! So annoying but how I’ve always been. I’m trying to fill my mind with other thoughts instead and slowing I’m getting fitter and losing some of the excess weight.

I’ve just discovered CrossFit. I never thought it would be for me as an unfit, tad overweight middle aged women but I love it. The classes has loads of adaptations for beginners and every other level. Every one is so friendly and the hour just flies. I feel exhilarated afterwards. I don’t always feel like going but I know if I get to the door of the class then I enjoy it when I’m there.
It’s highly likely there will be an exercise that you love. Worth trying stuff and finding what you like to do not just something you feel you should do.

My DH is a keen ultra runner. He didn’t get much running done over winter as work busy. He still kept the dogs walking going and was surprised when he started training for his next run in the spring that he hadn’t lost much fitness at all. Walking is a very underestimated exercise for some reason but it’s very good for you and if you do an hour or two a day then you will get a baseline of fitness go work from. But try whatever you fancy: swimming, paddle boarding, wild swimming, dancing, yoga. Anything that gets you moving.

Same with food. Plan delicious meals with food you love and enjoy them. If you’ve time to prep and make your own meals from raw ingredients then that’s great too. The one thing I do do is make sure I drink lots of water. Even the driest biscuit is made up of mostly water so being very hydrated (2 litres +) means that your appetite naturally balances out more.

And most of all, be the kindest you possibly can be to yourself.

I echo the comments above.

In fact I've just been on a run (using the Peloton digital app for guidance and motivation), and a comment that they make frequently (when you want to give up) is (a) you GET to do this. You GET to exercise your body, you GET to eat nutritious food. We are REALLY lucky to be able to do that. And (b) yes you can.

Life isn't a series of punishments, in fact, it's tough enough already. You deserve to eat well and keep healthy.

I agree partly with your comments and thank you for taking the time to reply! I disagree with some things though.. I think self discipine is a very important part of a healthy life style, without it, I would allow myself to eat take aways constantly and just lay around all day. I enjoy exercise, running and eating well, in the past I lost 2.5stone, but gained it again during lockdown. Also, while it is true that if I add more things such as running and exercise, it's not practical when I would have to run 10km every day. I'm tired as it is and only really get time to work out when the kids are in bed/during my lunch break and sometimes I just cba.

Again, thanks for your comments, but wondered if anybody had anything that helped them improve their self discipline.

You could try diarising your exercise, or doing it with a friend so you don't let anyone down (I used to go to a circuits class pre Covid, and set up a What's App group with anyone who mentioned a passing interest, then every week would offer a lift. Meant I couldn't then get out of it as there would always be someone to pick up).

I have an Apple Watch that nudges me to move, and private medical cover that rewards exercise (Vitality), so that's a help.

Joining some kind of challenge (Strava, or a particular workout programme, or working to achieve a certain move in yoga, whatever)?

And the more I exercise, the less time there is to eat 😂

Long term it's not really "self discipline" it's more of a series of judgements of the long term reward outweighing a short term inconvenience.

I head out for the run because I know I always feel better for having done it. I've usually got some target towards a race which gives a focus.
I say "no thank you" or "not now" about the cake because I'll feel better if I decline on this occasion... or sometimes I will say "yes" because it's a special occasion or particularly delicious.
With diet, until I had permanently ravenous children, I used to focus on the supermarket and swerve certain aisles so would come home with nutritious food. Not so easy these days!

Better to say "not now" than never.

What are your triggers? Identify those and then you can look to break them

IMO self-discipline is a mixture of internal belief system and habits. The easiest aspect of this to adapt and change is definitely habits. There is lots of research into techniques that work available on internet.

Go on YouTube and find a guy called Greg Doucette. He changed my whole outlook to health and nutrition the guy is totally mental but says exactly what everyone needs to hear.

Self-discipline is about establishing habits, and just doing them without thinking about it. Diarise time for exercise every day. Write out your eating plan/menu everyday.

Turning everything into a habit. My exercise is non-negotiable. I log all my calorie intake because that is the best way I have found for me to keep a check on it and ensure I am getting the right nutrients to fuel my exercise, which I love.

Thanks for all your replies! Greg Douchette is definitely not my cup of tea lol. Anyone selling a cookbook for that much is greedy, but someone who he has collabed with a lot Will Tennyson is amazing. Youtubers help me a lot!

Agreeing with everything coming down to habit. I've been crap on diet this bank holiday (celebrating ol' Liz) but getting into the habit of going on a walk every lunch break, and I can't imagine spending my lunchbreak just sat down anymore so feel it's already a habit. Started yesterday doing h ome workouts again too, so if I keep on it and get my eating under control I'll be grand.

For anyone stumbling on this post, get a book called habits for success. It's really great and inspiring and applies to the individual as well as in a business.

Keep thinking of why you are doing it.

Is it for health? To look better?

I find I’m more disciplined when I keep in mind the reason.

So for me, the last couple of times I’ve had my blood pressure taken it’s been raised, then the nurse wanted to do a diabetes test so booked me back in for a blood test and bp rechecked and I thought sod this, bp tablets in my 30’s because I’m fat. I’m not having that.

It starts off as self discipline, but once it becomes a habit it's harder to break. For example, if you're planning on going for a run in the morning before the kids are up, then put everything in place for you to be able to do it - lay your kit out the night before, put your running shoes by the door, and set your alarm. In the morning you're a lot less likely to think "oh I can't be arsed" when everything is laid out and ready.
Also, the other one that used to work for me is promising myself I could stop after 10 minutes if I wanted to. You never do, because the hardest bit is getting out of the front door.
After a while, the habit becomes ingrained - and the buzz that you get from knowing you've run 10 miles before anyone else is even awake is a bit addictive 😄

The motivation I found to turn me from a thirty something heavy drinking, heavy eating party animal, was to realise that if I truly love myself and my body, and my family, I should do the best I can to take care of it. I completely switched my mindset from exercising because I hated my body, to exercising because I love my body.

when we do things for a positive reason it becomes much easier.

Would you sign up for something like a run or a holiday or some event that you can countdown to? Are you more likely to work out if others will notice if you don't turn up? If so a bootcamp?
If there is something you really want to get but it's too expensive maybe have that as a reward if you work out for x amount for x long.