Weighing myself- yes or no? (May be triggering if ED)

[herewegoagainmymy]

I definitely skirted around an eating disorder in my 20s. Stopped periods for 6 months.

Size 8/10 now and a healthy weight. Exercise 5 times per week. Mixture of running, pilates, HIIT and weights . Also I have started mountain climbing which I love.

I used to weigh myself every day and it would effect my mood if I’d gained a pound or two. It did however mean I was always in control of my weight and didn’t gain too much as I could reign it in if I started gaining.

Anyway, the scales broke a few months ago and I thought I would try without as I am aware it’s not healthy how much I think about it.

But I definitely feel worse and I’m sure I’ve gained. I’ve had Covid so haven’t been exercising as much but I feel bigger. But with the mountain climbing I need to fuel my body and be functional so I’m accepting of that - my legs need to be stronger/bigger. I’m doing the mountain climbing every weekend/3 times a month at the moment and it’s a huge day burning around 2000 extra calories.

So anyone else ditched the scales and found peace? I thought I would but I’m struggling with the lack of control and feeling bigger but not being able to put a number on it.

(I wasn’t sure where to post but I hope the trigger warning will mean people with ED will avoid) Please be nice as I’m really wrestling with this and feel a bit down about it. I can get hyper focus in other areas of my life so there may be a connection.

Thanks.

I’m very similar to you OP, I can’t make peace without being able to track where I am, I’ve tried multiple times and it results in me carrying too much extra fat for me to be happy and not full of self loathing. I’ve made my peace in the opposite way now, which is I know what ‘number’ is too high for me and results in me feeling disgusting, I also however know where the boundary for ‘this is enough’ is and also warning signs that my behaviour is not healthy - for instance I know that if I lie to someone about what I’ve eaten to cover up a lower intake, or if I feel very anxious about a high calorie meal, that is a sign to me to get a grip of those unhealthy habits.

For me I know have absolute peace and I’m almost completely normal 95% of the time being able to eat anything without panic, and it’s because of regular weighing and knowing it’s fine to try and stay a size 8-10 because anything else (in either direction) makes me hate myself.

The massive caveat with this is I’ve never embarked on body transformation in the way you describe with the climbing. I suspect if I got larger with lean mass that would feel less bad and I might be ok with it. It’s things like a muffin top that make me feel like I need to throw myself off a cliff or cut it off with a knife.

Just before anyone else comments about me fat shaming, I don’t apply any of these judgements to anyone else - I dealt wish I could carry a bit of extra weight without it affecting my mental health so detrimentally.

Thanks so much @Hollyhead we sound very much alike!

I think I can allow myself an extra couple of kilos with all the hills I’m doing. It’s definitely making my legs and bum bigger. But I’m ok with that as I love doing it. Even my waist and cord have gained muscle! Some of the challenges are remote and require backpacking in and camping so I need to be strong.

I think I’m going to get the scales but just adjust my happy number in my head to one that is a bit bigger. I thought not weighing myself would be freeing but its actually making me obsess more! I’ve given it 2 or 3 months now.

Core not cord!

I think you might be ok if you have a minimum weight to avoid as well as a maximum. Be aware that your weight will be a range throughout the week/month and there will be fluctuations.

Another thing that might be useful is getting scales that give fat percentage/muscle mass/fluid levels. If you see patterns in these things it will help inform whether it is fat lost or gained, just fluid and hopefully not too much muscle. Yet just look out for trends because the actual measures are not accurate enough to put too much store in them.

Hopefully not too much muscle lost! Muscle gains are good!🙂

I don’t weigh myself, it isn’t something I’m interested in. My personal trainer said that some women get addicted to weighing themselves and that he advises people not to check their weight more than once a month, and instead he tells them to focus on appropriate exercise, healthy lifestyle, and good food. Also muscle is heavier than fat so 🤷‍♀️ the weight alone is pretty meaningless.

I used to have an ED and altho once recovered I wasn't obsessive about it I liked to be able to check. When I trained for my first marathon I lost weight and I liked being X stone something rather than X+1 stone. However since I have got fitter I've always stayed at X +1 and I prefer to be a faster but heavier (probably more muscular) runner. Both of our scales broke and we didn't get any more. I feel I have had enough years of weighing and measuring to have a good gage of where I am based on how I look/feel and how clothes fit. I see a chiropractor regularly and every few months they do a review including weight so I know I am very consistent. I eat well and exercise 4-6 times a week and I yes I am at peace without the scales. If I were to step on the scales I could probably tell you what it would say +/- 1.5kg.

Very interesting responses thank you. I wish I could zone it out but 40 years of stepping on the scales does that to you!

I am still in two minds about buying a new sets. I accept I’ll be a bit heavier than I was. I’m ok with that I think.

This is what I do. But right now I'm actually trying to recomp a bit - although I'm 'underweight' (obviously not underfat because I get periods regularly) I doubt my muscle/fat ratio is very good. I badly need a stronger core - to relieve back pain above all. Arms could do with strengthening too. So maybe I will gain. I'm not cutting calories at all but trying to eat healthier (more protein and wholefoods not processed items) and exercising. Its not easy.

I have had similar issues to you in the past. I gave up scales years ago and my weight actually went down because I was eating more intuitively. It has gone back up again (lockdown) but not so much I can’t fit in my clothes.

i prefer going by how my jeans fit. It stops me being a slave to the scale. And all of my years of practice means I know how much I weigh just by looking at myself. If I ever hop on someone else’s scales which I do, every 6 months or so, I am usually within a pound or so of my expectation when I climb aboard.

I doubt my muscle/fat ratio is very good. I badly need a stronger core - to relieve back pain above all. Arms could do with strengthening too. So maybe I will gain. I'm not cutting calories at all but trying to eat healthier (more protein and wholefoods not processed items) and exercising. Its not easy.

It's what I am doing. I'm at the lowest healthy BMI now after being overweight with a bad back. My back is much better now and obviously I'm no longer overweight. I've lost no lean mass and maybe even gained slightly since being in my thirties and I'm 50 this year. My body body analyser scales tell me this. I don't think I'm naturally muscly though - narrow frame. I run, walk and do strength and resistance exercises and use weights. I have some visible muscle definition now since starting my diet and exercise programme a few years ago.🙂

@hihellohihello That is encouraging. I'm not naturally muscular either and have a narrow frame. Lots of osteoperosis in this family.I'm only mid-thirties but have definitely lost strength since my twenties, largely through physical laziness/ other life business.

Don't worry I did the same.

You mention hyperfocus to other areas of your life in your OP and I wonder if there may be something underlying here? I've been doing a lot of reading up recently on ED and ASD. (My son has ASD and this has lead to me looking at my own behaviours). In short, studies seem to suggest there is a link between ASD and those with ED. The need for habits, ritual and control. It is also meant to be connected to binge eating disorder too (similar kind of thing, compulsive behaviour etc).

In my opinion only, I'm not sure much of the NT advice around weight is helpful anymore. For myself, I am actually happier now I've stopped trying to be intuitive and accepting that I enjoy structure and routine. I am actually overweight BTW.

I'm not sure what the answer is though. The issue is that if you weigh yourself as you are now, would you be able to accept that figure? Do you try to maintain a weight that is not healthy for your height? Would you adopt unhealthy habits to obtain/maintain the weight?

Thanks @Mrsteapot42 yes that is very interesting. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’m very noise sensitive too. Since stopping drinking some situations are intolerable for me (noisy/hectic places). I think regards to the weight I could accept a new weight based on a new set of scales. So add on an extra few kilos for muscle gain. Thanks very much for your post.

Can you not capitalise on the hyperfocus but make sure you get a fuller picture? Use analyser scales but accept they have some inaccuracy. Have a minimum acceptable weight as well as maximum? Acknowledging healthy weight will be a range due to natural fluid fluctuations etc rather than a singular weight? An appreciation of detail and greater information need not necessarily be bad. Just as routine can be useful as long as you acknowledge it is healthy to break it occasionally. No routine at all is not healthy either. The body naturally responds to rhythm and routines.

Your post really resonated with me OP.

I used to be overweight. At my heaviest I was 15 stone and I’m 5’7. I’ve now dropped to 9st 3 and it was literally through just eating one meal a day.

I weigh myself constantly, it’s awful. I reckon I must weigh myself about 15 times a day and the anxiety of not knowing my weight is ridiculous.

I joined a gym last week and I’ve been going every day since and I’ve found I’ve put on 2 pounds which I know rationally, is either water retention, where I am in my cycle or muscle but the anger I feel that although I’m now exercising and still limiting my food, I’ve still gained weight is crazy.

So I’m tempted to try and weigh myself once a week to see if that improves my mental health around it all! I’m also having my first session with a personal trainer tonight so looking forward to that!

@MischiefManagedAlways that sounds like torture you poor thing. Definitely limit yourself to once a day. Good luck.

I couldn't have scales in my home for > 20 years, OP.
Due to ED.
I recommend you don't have them & embrace the uncertainty.
Monitor your health by other means, but not scales.