Abs are made in the kitchen

[Setthescenes]

How true is this? I think I want to pretend I can reach my goals without losing all my treats but...

So I lost a lot of weight years and years ago, and it's been a journey to find fitness.

I now run and do weights at home - I'm too shy to join the gym or do classes. My arms are toned-ish and legs not too bad, beginning to see slight quad definition. barely

I have excess skin on my tum so I'll never have a six pack but I do want to look more toned and generally get stronger. I think I still look 'soft', if not a bit chubby.

I'm reading more about diet being vital in looking toned and wonder how to focus on fat loss while still wanting to build muscle?

And do I need to eat 100% healthy?

I'd say I'm 75% healthy diet wise - wholefoods, homemade meals, lots of healthy protein and fats, keep an eye on carbs. 5 days out of 10 I have a myriad of veg and a treat would be an apple.

But, say, 2 days will be an emergency meal like beans on toast, with cheese, or a homemade pizza and I drink around 4-6 large gins a week. The gin is usually followed by crisps or popcorn.

I need to totally cut out booze and crappy snacks, don't I? or please tell me these treats don't make a difference and it's ALL about increasing my weights etc...

80/20. Nothing wrong with beans on toast, it's a relatively low cal meal!

Going at it 100% of the time will just push you in the wrong direction.

'80/20'

Agree. That's what I aim for. I have zero chance of having a six pack, but I know what would be involved in getting a six pack and, no thanks quite frankly. I'm fit and strong and toned, and that will do me. Would rather keep my wine and ale and chocolate as treats, and carry a few extra pounds

I look at Jillian Michaels and think 'I bet she's not drinking gin and eating crisps...' but then, the reality of ever looking remotely as amazing as her is beyond impossible!

It's like my head says that unless I look like that, I can't even enjoy the weight loss - and seriously considering a tummy tuck...

You're being way too hard on yourself Set, but it's obviously coming from somewhere. Would you consider counselling / therapy? I saw a therapist for years, best thing I ever did

Thanks Lotta - I could do with raising my self esteem; it's as though whatever I weigh/do exercise wise, it's not enough. I should be lighter/stronger/better. Would definitely benefit from help to feel happier in my skin.

I have exercised my whole life. I don't do weights right now but I do running cycling and swimming.
I have a flat stomach with slight definition but it is really really difficult to get a six pack. You've got to really push to get one.
Are you honestly going to feel better about yourself because you have a six pack.

Honestly you have lost weight. Your enjoying exercise. Stop being so hard on yourself.

My personal trainer said to me that 80% of weight loss is made in the kitchen, and 20% in the gym

And do I need to eat 100% healthy?

I certainly don’t. Life is too short to deny yourself all your little pleasures. Just don’t enjoy them to excess.

I’d never heard of Jillian Michaels before but I look similar.

You sound like you have quite unhealthy and unrealistic body goals. Ask yourself where does that come from? Do you spend lots of time on social media looking at people who's livestyles/bodies you are supposed to be trying to emulate? Are they trying to sell you something?(as they often are on SM)
Also don't underestimate how these very muscly types are often using steroids etc. and the use of filters and angles (for instance taking 100 photos before they get one they like).

I would step away from any outside influences like that you are looking at as you sound like it is getting to be a bit obsessive and it isnt making you happy.

Concentrate on healthy eating, with a few treats and doing the exercise you enjoy. Life is too short to be punishing yourself all the time.

I lost a load of weight, got down to a size 6-8 (which for my height was pretty slim), lifted lots of weights, ran marathons, and I never had any hint of a 6 pack! I think you've got to be eating a load of protein supplements and doing specific exercises to get to that sort of tone. And as someone mentioned above, i suspect there might steroids involved in some cases!

What weights and exercises are you doing at home?

Eating healthily is important, but cutting out treats and food groups isn't going to be sustainable long term.

You say a gym isn't going to work due to anxiety, but do you have a friend or family member you could go with? I was extremely anxious when I started at the gym but the hardest bit is going for the first time. Having access to a wider range of equipment and weights can be really beneficial. Most gyms have apps where you can check how busy it is, so you can go when it's quiet.

I find that booking training sessions at the gym works best for me, rather than turning up and doing my own thing…. or trying to.

You've lost weight and eat pretty healthily so dobe so hard on yourself. Gin apparently contains 149 calories for 50ml so will have an impact, but that doesn't mean you can't drink gin. Thinking of it in how many units you are having in a week 6 50ml gins is below the recommended amount as well. Rather than cutting out just pour a slightly smaller glass and look for low calorie snacks and crisps. You still have to enjoy life. What's the point of being skinny and healthy but being bored and having no fun. It's all about balance.

Having visible abs means having a low body fat, as well as some muscle definition. Some people's genetic makeup means they can achieve it easier than others. So basically you need to lose most of your body fat, which means consistent calorie restriction and consistent training. I have a little 2 pack, but I have been working out for years, and roughly monitor my calorie intake all the time ...

Genetics and body fat percentage.

If you are apple shaped you need a lower body fat percentage than a pear shaped person to see those abs.
I could get fat down low but would need a tummy tuck to ever see my abs, got so much excess skin there after huge pregnancies (big singletons and twins).

I’m a PT.

You sound like you’re really on the right track, so well done!

I would say that to achieve the results you want you may need to clean your diet up a little bit. Slightly less gin will result in less crisps and popcorn, which will help with a calorie deficit which will in turn help with fat loss.

With regards to building some muscle, you need to make sure that you’re eating enough protein 1.5g per kg of body weight per day is a good aim.

You also need to ensure that your training program is achieving progressive overload. If you aren’t making things progressively harder, your body will adapt to what it’s doing very quickly and you’ll stop seeing results. It can be very hard to achieve progressive overload continually at home with limited equipment to be honest.

Also, just to say absolutely don’t cut out the foods you love! That isn’t sustainable or healthy.