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Original poster

Please HELP me to get started with exercise again. Feeling glum.

29 replies

whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:11

I've got three small children. One is at school, two at home. DH works very long hours. I'm a SAHM.

Youngest is still breastfed and there's no one I can leave her with.

We live rurally so I don't want to go out in the pitch black.

I just want to be able to go for a run once a day, but I can't! Oh how I wish I could just get up early and go running. However, DH refuses to wake up early to keep an eye on the children while I go. Is my best bet to buy a treadmill so that I can go during the day.

OP posts:
SNUG2022 · 08/03/2022 17:16

I found a second hand treadmill brilliant for thar very reason. Also don't underestimate walking with a buggy. And also your husband is an arse. Just get up and go, then he has no choice. It wouldn't have to be every day would it.

PartyPlan · 08/03/2022 17:17

Our local gyms offer parent and baby classes so you can take them with you. There’s quite a few yoga classes and another gym aimed at mums nearby too. I find the group environment really helps me get in to exercise.

Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:22

@SNUG2022 thanks for replying. The issue is that he is not a morning person at all, and I won't trust that the children are safe with him (he'll just go back to bed)

@PartyPlan thank you, yes I used to do that with one child, but I can't do it with a very active toddler and a baby.

Feeling fed up, frankly.

OP posts:
IBelieveInAThingCalledScience · 08/03/2022 17:23

I bit the bullet and bought a treadmill (and a Peloton) and quite frankly they were some of the best decisions I've ever made.

devildeepbluesea · 08/03/2022 17:26

See if any of the gyms have a crèche service.

Look into Les Mills On Demand (I think it’s Les Mills + now). They offer a really good free trial and absolutely loads of workouts. Some require equipment but loads don’t. You can gradually add equipment if you want to broaden your range - bearing in mind that you don’t usually need to buy the branded Les Mills equipment.

If you don’t want to pay, there’s loads of free workouts on YouTube but personally I don’t think they’re as good as LM and there’s something about having paid for the service that makes you use it. (This is a proven psychological phenomenon, I understand).

florianfortescue · 08/03/2022 17:30

Childcare is the best option with two of them. Have you got anyone near you who could babysit for an hour three times a week? A local au pair or student? Appreciate you live rurally.

Alternatively you could put your gym gear on every morning and hope that you can get them both asleep at the same time at some point so you can do a quick home workout!

Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:31

You see, I really like your thinking @IBelieveInAThingCalledScience

I've already discussed it with DH who said it's a waste of money, etc etc but I would pay for it anyway and if he won't support me to exercise, then I'll have to take matters in my own hands.

Also, I can't really think of anything more important to spend money on that your own health.

I used to really really enjoy running pre children. Now I'm just angry that I can't exercise, and my mental health is suffering (not to mention my waistline).

Can I ask what do you use the most treadmill or the bike? Have you got a peloton tread and if so is it worth it?

OP posts:
bookish83 · 08/03/2022 17:33

Get your husband to pay the creche fee if your gym has one.

I feel for you as you are not asking for the world... i'd just get up and go honestly. Or let him do the morning routines and go at a convenient time for his lazy morning behaviour!

ShineTogether · 08/03/2022 17:35

If there's a big hill near you walk it at pace while pushing the pram. Worked well for me as there was a baby and toddler group I liked at the top of the hill about a 30-49 min walk away. I was always late so rushing it but never sliced and took the bus (and no parking up there) and this kept me pretty fit

Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:37

@bookish83 he's incredibly tight. He would never pay for the creche fee.

He makes unpleasant comments about larger women on TV, but won't give his own wife the support I need to exercise.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:39

@ShineTogether

it's a nice idea with the baby, but what do I do with the 3 year old whilst I'm running up this hill? He can't keep up!

OP posts:
bookish83 · 08/03/2022 17:39

Is there a eider SAHM issue? Money issue?
I don't want to make rude comments as I don't know your set up but I'd be really upset being the main parent for 3 kids and not even getting a run a few times a week Thanks

bookish83 · 08/03/2022 17:40

*wider

Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 17:44

@bookish83 I think this is the issue.

If I worked full time and my DH was at home, I know I'd do what I can to help him exercise. He just doesn't value my time.

Not sure where to go from here. Perhaps a serious conversation this evening.

OP posts:
IBelieveInAThingCalledScience · 08/03/2022 17:57

@whatatanker

You see, I really like your thinking *@IBelieveInAThingCalledScience*

I've already discussed it with DH who said it's a waste of money, etc etc but I would pay for it anyway and if he won't support me to exercise, then I'll have to take matters in my own hands.

Also, I can't really think of anything more important to spend money on that your own health.

I used to really really enjoy running pre children. Now I'm just angry that I can't exercise, and my mental health is suffering (not to mention my waistline).

Can I ask what do you use the most treadmill or the bike? Have you got a peloton tread and if so is it worth it?

I was primarily a runner, but the Peloton classes really converted me.

Now I use both very effectively for cross training and the bike has saved me many times when running niggles hit.

I wanted the peloton tread, but they weren't delivering it during lockdown so I got a Nordic track instead and just do the classes on that

Also, Peloton comes with strength work classes, pilates, yoga, mediation, outdoor classes, hiking, running and even foam rolling. It also has proper programs to follow if you like structure.

It also has Family classes and the DC join me for Disney yoga classes and some dance cardio.

The online communities are super varied and motivating too.

I also found that I can do a lot of the classes with children around, which really helps.

I know I sound evangelical about it but it changed my life.

Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 18:30

@IBelieveInAThingCalledScience thank you. I think this could change my life too. Will look into it really seriously tonight. I think there's a free trial going on too right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatatanker · 08/03/2022 18:31

@IBelieveInAThingCalledScience

Also, I'm really glad it changed your life. That's fantastic.

OP posts:
pawpaws2022 · 08/03/2022 18:32

I've just got a peloton bike and love it
I have a 60 day free app trial if you want the code (it asks for card details but you can cancel before paying!)

bookish83 · 08/03/2022 18:55

I'm derailing the original question now but are you accessing the free preschool hours at least? Exercising with a baby is doable... like you said its harder with a 3 year old too!

If you love running I'd get the tread, but if you don't mind either way the bike might be more versatile as variety.

I hope you get the set up you want to, and I think 3 kids is harder than full time work... I admire you as I could not do it!

IBelieveInAThingCalledScience · 08/03/2022 18:55

Good luck!

If you have a Vitality Health life or health insurance you can get up to 40% cashback on a bike or tread and if you want a referral code for 100 pounds off let me know 👍

RiverSkater · 08/03/2022 19:22

Get a kettlebell ! You can do strength and cardio, which can be as beneficial as a run - loads of videos online.

You can do a full body workout but you must study the proper form or you injure yourself.

RiverSkater · 08/03/2022 19:35

You could also do some virtual skipping, where you skip without the rope!

I think fitting things in with your lifestyle helps too, so walking lunges around the dining table, keep a resistance band over the door and do some arm exercises while the kettle is boiling.

Buy yourself a cheap fitness watch and track your progress too.

Tronkmanton · 08/03/2022 19:40

Courtney Black is the answer! She is on insta and has a brilliant app with loads of workouts you can do at home. Life changing.

Disfordragon · 08/03/2022 19:46

Def get a running machine- it’s a game changer. We also live rurally. I go out in the dark. And you DH needs to step up.

GreekGod · 08/03/2022 19:54

buy the treadmill OP - go for it ! don't get into heated discussions with DH - just buy a bike or treadmill and go for it and i would put them in front of an iPad - while you exercise for an hour . it won't kill them and i did it with 3 DC under the age of 4 who are now healthy teenagers and great students