Formerly passionate runner but I just can’t get going.

[dangermouseisace]

Disclosure: I have MH problems and an eating disorder, and running was a massive part of me staying well. But it’s all fallen to pieces.

I’m a single mum and work full time, largely from home. I have 3 kids- one with a serious health condition that needs careful management, and a dog. The dog likes running, fortunately.

Successive lockdowns, full time employment and school holidays have meant my running has ground to a halt. I was doing 25 miles per week and was a fairly ok club runner. I’m now drinking too much alcohol and definitely not eating enough. I’m underweight, but not dangerously. I’m stuck in a rut. I know I need to get running and sort my head/diet/drinking out, but I can’t get going. I cannot seem to find the time, or I go once during the week and aim for more but am too tired. I can’t go to my club during the week because I’ve got the children more now. No-one from club has asked where I am, and I know it’s because everyone is busy with their own lives, but in my head I’m convinced it because I’m insufferable and annoying. I’m worried what they’d think anyway as in Lycra my weight loss is obvious and it don’t look healthy.

I’ve tried putting things in the calendar, following a plan, deciding I’ll go every day, but I cannot get into a routine. I end up feeling defeated, depressed and feeling there isn’t a point to it anyway. The Weekends when the kids are away (every other), I decide I’ll go running, but end up too tired and hiding in bed just to get through the weekend.

Any tips? I only have a 30 min lunch break so lunch runs are out.

Just make yourself go once. Just once. Could be tomorrow, could be next week. Just that once.

The best thing for me has been running with a friend super early in the morning. We leave at 6.45am and run 5 miles. I’m committed because she’s committed. So could you find a running buddy?

How does your club keep in touch? Does it have a Facebook group? Maybe at the next one, put a comment saying you’re finding it hard to get out and how’s everyone getting on? You may not be the only one struggling (I run with a club too but it’s fallen off a cliff).

Do you work from home? Could you start the day in your running kit and run for twenty minutes during lunch?

@dangermouseisace I'm so close in my story to you! Just can't bring myself to put one foot in front of the other at the moment x I'll keep an eye on this thread for some tips

Have 2 weeks off from trying to run and stressing yourself over it. After that start a more gentle training plan like couch to 5k - to get used to the routine of getting changed into running gear and leaving the house again. Download some good podcasts or audio books. Remind yourself that running isn’t a chore, it’s a privilege, it’s fun and makes you feel good - no matter how short the route or how slow you go.

Maybe try parkrun if there is one close to you. That’s at a fixed time every Saturday and will set you up for the day or how about finding some runs to enter. Most are held on Sundays. I know how hard it is to find your running mojo again. I did it by joining a club.

Take the pressure off. Go for a 5 minute walk. No more, That’s all. See how it goes.

Book yourself in for a 10k event in November/December and just do it. You shouldn't need to do much training for it if you're used to running 25 miles a week. It'll make you feel alive again and remind you of why you run.

Find an accountability buddy. Someone from your club or a friend who is reliable and who you'd never let down.

Also can I suggest trying a month of the Peloton app. You can get a free 30day trial. They have audio only tracks for outdoor runs and thousands of video tracks for a treadmill that you can also do outside. Some of the running coaches are just so kind and positive its a double mental health boost listening to them while you run. There are walking and jog/walk options too.

The runs are all different lengths from 10mins upwards, you can do 20mins at lunchtime and still feel like you've had a good workout.

No advice but me too. Just coming out the other side of 2 failed embryo transfer cycles, before which I stopped running to get my BMI a bit higher, and just feel hazy with grief and inertia.

I know regular running will help (it got me out of a deathwishy not-eating mess in my twenties) but can’t get myself out the door, and have lost so much fitness it’s discouraging.

Following along for tips, and sending solidarity. Xx

What works for me is booking a race date then writing out my training plan. I find it much harder to ignore then.

But if that's not what motivates you, I agree to trying the opposite! Just say you will go for a 15 minute walk today. Then do that.

Then say the same again tomorrow.

A running buddy really helps but if that's not an option I really like the Nike run club app, it's free and there's loads of challenges and guided runs. It gets me out the door

Try not to worry about the running club, they've all imploded over the last 18 months and will take time to reform. You're not annoying, they've just all splintered and will take time to get them going again.

Agree, just go for a small walk, wear your trainers and just try running a few steps at a time. Absolutely no pressure on yourself to do any more xx

Agree with the others - stop putting pressure on yourself, just put your trainers on and aim for 10 minutes whether it's walking or running.

If you can't face leaving the house, try some of the walking workouts online (free on you tube) - Leslie Sansone or Get Fit with Rick are good to just get you moving in your living room. You do work up a sweat and feel better for doing something.

Good luck as it's tough when you're feeling the way you do, however please know you're not alone. for you.

Try a different sport/exercise for now. I'm a swimmer essentially, my whole life has been swimming, I have found I just can't be bothered and I find it boring. I have taken up going to the gym and I'm loving it, I used to go to the gym several times a week but it was always focussed on my swimming and what I needed to do for that, but now I just go for me and hang the swimming. I know I'll go back to swimming at some point, it's in my blood, but for now I'm not going to force myself.

I was the same earlier this year. I've still not quite got my mojo back but what worked for me was a complete break from thinking about running and feeling bad for not doing it. I gave myself a month off and did walks instead after work, drive somewhere nice at the weekend. Just enjoying being outside. You've got a dog so that will definitely help.

Then I joined a gym, one of those £20/month ones and did some classes. I got up early in the morning to go instead of going after work when I would usually run. Just a total change in routine. A half an hour abs class twice a week that was it. And a few weeks later I thought oh I'll go to Parkrun.

You've just got to take the pressure off somehow. I feel you, I struggled for months and in the end realised it wasn't getting me anywhere. I thought maybe I'm just not a runner any more and I was surprisingly ok with that. Be kind to yourself.

Try a 1 mile run during your lunch break - should take you what 10-12 mins if you’ve not run for a while ?

Just aim for once this week. Put your kit on in the morning so you’re ready. And remember the hardest thing about going for a run is actually going out the front door and starting, and you never have a bad run.

Bet you’ll feel a major sense of achievement just doing that.

Then aim for another mile next week. 2 the week after and so on. Build your habit gradually and make it realistically achievable. Good luck

OP, could you be depressed? I know you mention an eating disorder, and they are commonly comorbid. Only lying in bed for a weekend, and failing to find joy in things you loved.... Beating yourself up for not doing the things you set out to achieve.... Could all be depression. Might it be worth approaching your MH first, and see if motivation follows, rather than the other way round?

I am similarly unable to motivate myself. Injuries and chd with sen have rendered me immobile. Need to get off my fat, lazy bum and book a race for charity. That's usually how I get motivated, I need a goal to work towards.

You should create a playlist of all your favourite songs and choose a route that has a lovely view. Don’t put pressure on yourself and from the start run deliberately slowly- find a pace you’re comfortable with and then run just that bit slower. Enjoy the music and enjoy the view- if I’m having a poor mental health day running past and watching the swans cruise about the canal helps me. I also put in some songs that make me laugh like ‘I’m too sexy’ randomly in the playlist.

What about canicross?
Running with your dog can be a great motivator - a companion, someone to work on a fitness plan for, new kit to buy (!), new commands to teach.
Quite a few parkruns are canicross friendly x

Oh wow- thank you for all your replies. And AllySmelly verbena and whatsitbeen solidarity! verbena I cannot imagine how hard your experience has been, I hope your haze starts to clear soon x

Iggly I think the starting the day in the running kit is a good suggestion. I did that today, but didn't manage to get out due to work being crazy. Maybe Mondays aren't the day. I might go to sleep in my kit though ready for tomorrow 😂 At least I’ve located a functioning bra. I've been avoiding FB but I occasionally squint at the club page. I might try and get brave and post.

arranmumma it definitely is a privilege to run.

fusionchefgeoff you reminded me there is a race I like that's on in the bit between Christmas and new year. That could be an aim.

truerefuge I do get recurrent (severe) depression, but I'm on medication, maybe just a “bit down” rather than depressed though. Unless I stop being able to function on a day to day level I'm “fine”

ihaventgottimeforthis we have done canicross but it has only just started back up. Its one if those things that fell apart in the pandemic. It's been too hot for my dog to run recently but as it gets cooler it's definitely a possibility. All the mud though...

Thank you everyone else for your suggestions about walking- I have to walk the dog but I never see that as being enough, as I forget it is exercise too. Also the suggestions of short runs/music/ books and other activities. You’ve given me lots of ideas, thank you all