Not motivated any more
GreenFairyHouse · 03/05/2021 20:57
Last March of 2020, the virus was emerging and in a matter of weeks it was reported that people with a high bmi can be affected badly. I am 5 ft 4 and I carry all my weight in my belly. I was nearly 17 stone. My bmi was 38.
I had a busy schedule for a long time and that contributed to where I was. There were weeks I was working anything between 50 and 90 hours. Not all the time but there were weeks like that. There were days when I missed a lunch and even a toilet break. The lockdown provided me with more free time. I continued to work throughout lockdown but I was allowed to finish early every evening for about 6 instead of being forced into unpaid overtime. With the extra time in the evenings, I focused on getting out walking most evenings. I had my diet fine tuned at that point. The weight fell off me. I lost 2 and half stone and then I stalled. Then winter time came in and I stalled and stopped. Work was going backwards into the old habits too. I found it hard to get out walking every evening and weekends. I stopped. I became demotivated.
I have been going through so much stress for the spring time and I am hating life and I was never able to get back into exercising this spring. It was something I loved last year. I definitely found a bad tone in some people around me when I was trying to do my best too. Almost as if indirectly some people felt threatened by me trying to lose weight and do well for myself. It was one of these individuals that caused a lot of stress and pressure for me.
I weighed myself today and I am back to where I was when I started last year. I was shocked. My diet went to hell over the winter with alcoholic drinks like wine or cocktails most evenings. I am usually good around chocolates and chrisps and sweets and other bad foods. I generally eat low carb and avoid pizzas and take aways. So I don't know where I went wrong with the weight that crept back on.
Either way, it's exercise that I badly need to do but I am so deflated. In my mind I am thinking - what's the point when there will be someone there behind the scenes ready to literally tear strips out of me out of jealousy or work will dump a heavy and intense schedule on me. I'm dreading life going back to the way it was pre lockdown.
BeachSunsets · 04/05/2021 08:55
The lockdowns have been terribly hard on everyone both physically and mentally. And as you said, pre covid conditions were also difficult especially when trying to balance work, family and our personal well-being.
Don’t give up, even though you’re feeling this way right now, it will pass. Take small steps in making changes, and most importantly take care of yourself.
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