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Please help me to get back to a healthy weight

24 replies

Sweetvanilla · 10/04/2021 17:18

Hi all, I will list my details below and my issue, in hopes that someone can help me 😞🤦🏻‍♀️

Age 30
Height 5.5
Weight 86.kg

Going back to my teens I was around a size 10, slowly this went up to a size 12 in trousers and still a 10 on top. I then went up to a 12 in my 20’s and then a 12-14. Im now 30 and around 3-4 years ago out of nowhere I just blew up like a balloon , I suddenly got stretch marks in strange places as well. I’ve never been pregnant and my tummy is very big. My body has grown all over I’ve got fat everywhere but my tummy sticks out quite badly and it hurts if I wear anything other then leggings. Im now a size 16 and I can’t wear jeans as they give me a tummy ache.

I can’t diet as I have no will power and due to years of bad eating I suffer with vitamin deficiency and I’m always lightheaded so I can’t do much exercise. I average 7,000 steps a day at work but would like to increase this, the trouble is I’m so tired all the time it’s just impossible.

I don’t eat a large variety of foods and I don’t like meat much however I can happily eat takeaway food every day, so maybe my issue is actually preparing the food. I struggle for lunch at work as im so picky, I literally just eat chips, noodles or toast for lunch. I’ve always been a strange eater since I was a child and it’s really starting to upset me. But my question is, I have always eaten like this and managed to stay a size 12, so why now have I ballooned to a size 16? My double chin is there permanently and I don’t want to have sex with my husband and I can’t explain why, but basically because I feel like a hippo and nothing looks the same anymore. I was looking back at old photos and I thought I was fat then! I cried because I would love to be that size now. This morning I planned to have an omelette and that didn’t happen... I ended up having eggs on toast with brown sauce and literally half a block of cheese. I physically have never dieted in my life and I do try but it doesn’t last the day. Im scared that im addicted to junk food.

Could anyone help me?

OP posts:
Sweetvanilla · 10/04/2021 17:19

Tonight we’re having chicken kievs and french fries. After tonight I hope to start eating better but I don’t know how to stop my impulses. Im definitely addicted and it’s worrying.

OP posts:
HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 10/04/2021 17:31

@Sweetvanilla focus on small changes rather than going for a wholesale life makeover.

For example, instead of chips with your chicken Kiev you could have roasted greenbeans and tenderstem broccoli or caluliflower rice.

I've lost 4 stone over the last 9 months by creating a MyFitnessPal account and trying to stick to my calorie allowance. Sometimes I go over, most days I don't, it works for me.

In terms of exercise check out ourparks.org.uk/couch-to-fitness

It's completely free, 3 x 30 minute workouts a week you can do at home with no equipment. They start easier and get harder over the 9 weeks of the programme. They also show adaptations for all exercises so you can do an easier or harder version of it.

KitBiscuit · 10/04/2021 17:41

Hi OP, I recently started watching what I eat and exercising regularly. I am now a size 16 and would love to get back in my old clothes (pre baby, size 12) before the end of this year. I don't even care about how much I weigh, and have no desire to be "skinny" per say, I just want to be more energetic, healthy and lean. I totally relate to your struggles as I too would happily eat takeaway / crisps / chips / bread / cakes whenever I could, but I pile weight on sooooo easily and if I don't stop now, I'm afraid there will be no going back.

So my drastic change started with telling myself that "I eat to live and not live to eat" AND "I am what I eat" and to be healthy, I need to be mindful of what I consume and I must exercise regularly. Not just "until I get back in shape" but as a lifestyle. It's going well so far and although it's too early to see any meaningful results, I actually feel so much better and lighter just by not being full of food constantly and my skin has also brightened up a bit :) Bonus!

If you'd like me to share some meal ideas and light exercises that I do, feel free to let me know. I don't want to overwhelm you, just wanted you to know that you are not alone Thanks

RamsayBoltonsConscience · 10/04/2021 17:45

Ok, I don't want to come across as harsh but you need to stop making excuses. You are gaining weight because you are eating crap, consuming more calories than you are burning and you are doing no exercise.
I know what this feels like, I was like you. At the start of January 2020, I was a size 20 weighing over 17 stone, my diabetes was out of control and my doctor had put me on blood pressure tablets.
I made a decision to lose weight and I have been doing weightwatchers ever since. I'm now down to a size 14, I've lost 5 1/2 stone, I'm off all my meds . and can see my target weight approaching BUT it's not easy!
You have to make a decision to do something and do it. I know that if I have sweets/ chocolate in the house, I will eat them. That's how I self- sabotage, I've done it to myself twice in the last year so I don't buy them. That's not to say that I don't have a treat every now and then but I plan for those days.
At the very least, you need to cut out the crap. Egg on toast is not that bad but the cheese buggars it up. You need to start logging what you are eating My Fitness Pal is free and it will make you aware of how many calories you are consuming but you've got to be honest. There's no point lying to yourself.
You say that you can't diet - no, you don't want to.
You say that you can't exercise - no, you don't want to.
I didn't want to either, my health told me that I had to. I could have ignored it but, chances are, I'd be seriously ill or dead in 10 years.
Set yourself a small goal, the end target is too far away. What do you want to have achieved by the end of April? You could lose about 2 to 3 kilos by May (bearing in mind that the first few weeks' loss can be quite quick).
Try setting the target of 10,000 steps a day, upping your vegetable intake and cutting out the crap food.
You have to make decisions and stick to them, no one can do it for you.
I'm sorry this is hard but if you are that miserable, you have to do it for yourself. I cried at night and wished the fat would just disappear but it doesn't, there's no magic wand, you have want to do, make up your mind and stick to it.
YOUCAN DO THIS!

BagLadyy · 10/04/2021 19:54

Sorry to say that no exercise can work against a bad diet.

Food is 90% of weight loss.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 10/04/2021 20:10

Exercise alone won't make you lose weight, that is about reducing your food intake, I agree.

But what exercise does do is make you feel better. It gives you energy, builds muscle, makes you feel more confident in your body, gives you strength and stamina.

I say this as someone who last August was 16stone, had been obese or morbidly obese since I was 11 years old.

Now I'm overweight, I can jog 3km before I need to take a short walking break, I can run round the park with my 6 yr old and I have less than a stone to lose till I'm in the healthy BMI.

Yes you do need to take control of what you're eating, that does not mean only eating salad, you can still have cheese, just a moderate portion, you can still have chocolate just a smaller amount and not every day. Personally I have options hot chocolate in the house always and have one of those if I feel a craving.

You really can do this, just make the start now, not tomorrow or next week.

CatherineCawood · 10/04/2021 20:21

I imagine your issue is mostly down to poor diet. However, if your stomach is suddenly out of proportion and is tender perhaps you should see your GP? Could be fibriods? A friend at school when we were 15 suddenly got a huge stomach and eventually was diagnosed with fibriods. We all used to joke about that she must be pregnant which she strongly denied!

WhiskeryWoman · 11/04/2021 10:45

In addition to all the good advice which I would echo, what hasn’t been picked up on (I don’t think) is your food quality. You will feel exhausted if you eat poor quality food. By poor quality I don’t mean Cadbury’s dairy milk vs Green and blacks organic. I mean poor quality as in high refined sugar, high trans fat, low fibre, low nutrient density, high processed food. Even if you were to eat that kind of diet on the optimal calories your body needs in a day you would still feel exhausted.

I follow a plant based diet (vegan without the beige or processed food). I’m also a racing endurance cyclist, mum to a 4 year old and work part time in a very demanding job.

I train 10-17 hours a week on my bike. DS is very active and we have 2 full days a week together, we are out walking or he cycles and I run. Yet I’m literally bursting with energy. Why. I’d put it down to my diet. How do I know? 15 years ago. I. Was. You.

I would suggest ‘diets’ don’t work for you as you are focussing on the restrictive commercial ones. The providers don’t want them to work... that’d be a very poor business model! I accept Slimming World is slightly different as it does focus more on food quality. But as an experiment I tried doing it (just using my normal eating habits) and I was way over my daily ‘syns’ (which I used on stuff like nuts). There isn’t any facility to eat the additional calories you burn through exercise. That’s probably not important if you aren’t doing much exercise. But for someone who’s physically active (not necessarily at my level) that is bad news. Your body needs good quality food to fuel it, help it repair and recover and keep you well. Commercial diets tend to push you to thinking ‘diet’ foods are healthy as they are low calorie. They aren’t! I’m referring to stuff like diet drinks, weight watchers products etc. They are high in bad saturated fats and high in artificial flavourings and sweeteners.

I did actually ‘successfully’ complete WW many years ago. I was 4.5 stone heavier than now. I lost weight fairly quickly - 3 stone in 4 months. But looking back I shudder at my diet! I was eating low calories crisps, drinking diet drinks, eating ‘diet’ foods. I was constantly grumpy as I was operating on a calorie deficit too great for my needs. I was also tired. Hardly surprising given the poor nutrient quality food I was living on.

I piled most of the weight back on. I started cycling and gradually got more and more in to it. At the same time I gradually changed my diet. Just small regular swaps. So the crisps were replaced with nuts. Low calorie cereal for porridge. Etc. It took several years. But because I made small regular changes, they were sustainable. The weight fell off me! My energy levels kept increasing which fired me on.

Occasionally I’ll have a ‘beige’ day. My energy levels drop. My body retains water for several days. I get heart palpitations from the refined sugar. I feel sluggish and almost depressed for several days.

I now view food as ‘fuel’ so it needs to benefit me (be nutrient dense) in order for me to eat it. I couldn’t ever imagine returning to my old ways.

The important thing with a successful diet is that attitude change and sustainable habit change. It’s got to be sustainable and enjoyable. Early days I found food swaps I really enjoyed. I discovered a sheer love for nuts and dried fruit. I found them waaay more enjoyable than the walkers baked and mcvities digestives that I swapped from.

MyFitnessPal is ace! It’s not just about good diet quality but getting your macro nutrients (fibre, protein and carbs) in order. If the balance is too far skewed in favour of one it’ll likely cause low energy.

Good luck. You can do this. See it as a lifetime thing to help you maintain optimal health.

Sweetvanilla · 11/04/2021 15:41

@CatherineCawood I do have fibroids I’ve just been diagnosed last week. My GP has referred me to the Gynaecologist however he didn’t mention how big they were. I do have a big and sensitive tummy but I’ve grown in other places too, so unfortunately it’s probably down to eating too much. Fortunately that might mean that my fibroids aren’t that large, fingers crossed. I’m taking it as good news that the GP didn’t mention the size.

OP posts:
Sweetvanilla · 11/04/2021 15:53

Thanks everyone it’s nice to know that I am not alone. Today this is what I ate:

8am 2 cups of coffee (2 sugars each)

10.30am 2 eggs and 2 toast

2 glass water

1pm Sesame seed ryvita x 3 and some cucumber and some cheese

2pm Cup of tea (2 sugars)

3.39pm Snack a jacks and a small Satsuma and glass of water

This evening we are having Chinese flavour pork chops with broccoli and some rice

No chocolate or fizzy drinks which is a big change. I have planned my lunch for the week as well to help me maintain energy at work and to stop me from snacking. I’ve added all of it into my fitness pal and I do have a bit of a headache and I am hungry. I will have a handful of nuts soon. This isn’t even healthy eating but this is a big effort seeing as I usually just eat junk food.

OP posts:
zzizzer · 11/04/2021 15:55

Hi OP. This time last year I was where you are; a few stone overweight, eating a truly rubbish diet with all processed bland foods and chocolate and crap - almost no fruit or veg, no fish at all, no idea about calories or micronutrients, no exercise apart from some half hearted swimming. I was tired all the time and exhausted. I was also convinced I couldn't change as I'm autistic and I tend to be very set in my ways.

But then Covid happened and I was terrified. I decided I needed to lose the weight and I did it by basically reinventing my diet and starting exercise. I decided to be brutal and get it over with as quickly as possible - so I cut out sugar and salt and any processed foods including bread and pasta, and started eating eggs, fish, and any whole foods like vegetables and fruit.

The first two or three weeks were awful, really awful - like breaking addictions awful - and I had to physically force myself to eat the new foods and start trusting them. That was really hard so if you try it, expect it to take a few weeks. (Don't cut calories just eat better.)

I then bought a mini trampoline and some fitness games on the Nintendo Switch because for me exercise has to be fun or I'll forget it.

These days I am so slim, so strong, and so healthy - my life has been turned around and I am so much happier. My IBS and anxiety have pretty much vanished.

It took me doing it to believe in the power of a good diet, but I am still amazed at my body on a daily basis. Also, if I can do it, anyone can! I mean that - and I know you could turn it around for yourself too.

dancemom · 11/04/2021 15:57

Good start OP

Look at changing your sugars to sweetners and add some protein at lunch, maybe some tuna or chicken.

zzizzer · 11/04/2021 15:58

(Also, make sure you're logging calories and DON'T be tempted to cut down way too fast, too low - you will lose muscle as well as fat and it is not sustainable. Instead, work on improving the diet and amount of healthy food more than anything, along with some weights exercise!)

Chocolateteabag · 11/04/2021 16:17

I'd try to wean yourself off sugar in you tea/coffee altogether - go down by a teaspoon (or a half at least) and try to use less each week

Sweeteners will mess with your body as it thinks "sugar" but then doesn't get it

Dugee · 11/04/2021 16:21

OP, I'll come back with some more ideas later but if you are vitamin deficient, are you taking a good quality multi vitamin? This may help with your energy levels.

Passthecake30 · 11/04/2021 17:38

I recommend tracking in MFP. If you have a limited diet, then make sure it’s a limited diet that remains in a reasonable calorie allowance for starters. Once you see how high calorie that cheese is (for example) it might encourage you to switch.

BagLadyy · 11/04/2021 17:44

I really encourage anyone to watch 'Fat Fiction' and 'Fasting' on Prime.

Can free yourself from calories and the damage of low fat.

Finally turned my life around after years of yo-yo dieting and hunger.

Tallybo · 11/04/2021 17:49

I lost 7 stone 4 years ago and have kept it off since, after trying so many diets the thing that worked for me was counting calories. For most meals you enjoy there is probably a healthier recipe online, and no, I don't mean cauliflower pizza or quark!

I found finding quality dense, low calorie food helped regulate my hunger when I first started, like stir frys, and also built in calories for a chocolate bar after tea every day; I always found cutting them out completely made me obsess and I was more likely to binge. Also made sure to eat enough so I didn't get to the evening and eat the entirety of the cupboards before bed. Once I was down to my target weight, I started exercise and now love it (which me a few years ago would have thought was crazy). Slow and steady wins the race for me for it to be sustainable.

I would start cutting down on sugar, but wouldn't necessarily try and go cold turkey as more likely to fail, and then taper down. I did have horrific headaches etc for a few days but soon passed as did the cravings. I would also be really hungry if I had only eaten what you have today!

Do you like things like oats? Baked or overnight oats are really nice and keep me full until lunch for example.

Tallybo · 11/04/2021 17:51

Also try and eat foods that haven't been processed, pinch of nom has lots of quick meals that are reasonable calories and contain a good balance. Avoid low fat anything as that's going to be a chemical shitstorm.

Love51 · 11/04/2021 17:51

If you are addicted to junk food you may want to try Dr Jenkinson's approach. He wrote "why we eat (too much)". He explains why restrictive diets work and then stop working, and what you can do to avoid rebound pounds. There is a thread I can tag you into?

Sweetvanilla · 11/04/2021 19:15

@Love51yes please

OP posts:
Sweetvanilla · 11/04/2021 19:16

Thanks giys I had a nap this afternoon which stopped me from snacking any further

OP posts:
Love51 · 11/04/2021 22:03

@Sweetvanilla I think I've done it. But I've done 3 tecchie jobs well today so something is due to go wrong!

Dugee · 11/04/2021 23:37

@Sweetvanilla

I've tagged you in another thread too.

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