Never able to relax regarding exercise or food

[Skala123]

Posting here rather than anywhere else in the hope I find some like minded people who don't think I'm crazy.

I am in good shape, body fat of around 18%, good lean muscle mass, abs are showing etc. I know I don't need to lose any weight. Thighs and bum always need work but I think that's partly genetics. I work out 5 or 6 times a week doing strength/resistance training plus I run once a week. I also use my fitness pal to track my macros and stick to a high protein diet of around 1700cals a day.

All good right? However I just wish I could relax a bit and appreciate that I'm in good shape and a day off won't wreck it. I am knackered this week and had decided to have a rest day today but I got really anxious and ended up doing over an hour in the gym. Pretty much everything I eat or drink (at home) has to be weighed and logged. I think about food and exercise and my body all the time. I have two friends who are kind of similar and that's stopped me thinking I have any sort of issue, and maybe I don't! Is this it for me for the next forty years of my life? Every day I focus on food and exercise without let up?

Anyone in the same boat with some advice?

I don't know anything about this, sorry

How long have you been doing this?

I had a friend who felt like this but she knew it was displaced behaviour from when she'd been anorexic and she tried to ignore it.

What happens when you relax (evening out with friends, drinks and food etc)?

I can't help much, as I am the opposite. In a way. I do the exercise bit, and like to be fit, but also have a bit of belly fat/hip fat as I like to eat out and have a drink on a Friday.

Where did your ambition to become really fit and lean come from? Is it a reaction to something?

It can be comforting to people to feel in control of their body shape, and that is not a bad thing as such, but not being able to relax obviously isn't great!

1700/day, How do you that? I'm probably a lot older & burn thru 2500/day. I'd be a stick on your diet (sounds like). How many minutes of exercise do you get each week.

Do you enjoy this life, OP? Logging, tracking, these things on your mind a lot of the time?

I think I'm mildly obsessive about getting exercise... but some days I can't get hardly any exercise & that doesn't bother me. Right now my legs are nicely tired from a 6km run. I'm busy devouring everything in the house (none of it measured).

Sorry but I think you have an issue. Your life should not revolve around this. It sounds like a tiring and miserable existence; eating and exercise should be part of life, not the entirety of it.

Rest days are GOOD FOR YOU. They help you recover and then improve your progress. It's really hard to believe when you're feeling guilty (and I know how that feels), but they are.

I realise counselling may not work for you, but if you can try it, it might be useful to help you understand why you are so focussed...

When I go out with friends I do fully relax and eat and drink pretty much what I like so I know I can do it. Obviously I'm not out all that much so the rest of the time I'm in full obsession mode.

I've always exercised but I got very into it when I put on five stone with my first pregnancy. It was the first glimpse I had of what it was like to be fat and it horrified me. Not one photo exists of me from that time, which makes me really sad. I got into exercise and lost the weight quickly and I've always been fit since then. I am a qualified PT but don't use it, I just did it for my own enjoyment. I started tracking food after my second pregnancy and have done it off and on since.

This is the worst it's been though and it's on my mind the whole time. I talk about it a lot too which I know is incredibly boring! I want to be fit and healthy and nutrition is important to me but I also want to be able to have a slice of cake without stressing about it. I'm often hungry and wander round the kitchen putting various foods into my fitness pal and then rejecting them on the basis of too high carbs or calories or not enough protein etc

Aargh I just wish I could stop occasionally!

Being fit and healthy is important, so you are justified in caring about your nutrition and being fit and strong.

But...

It does sound like you have an issue and are taking it beyond what is healthy. I suspect MFP might be the central key to this.

You could test your compulsion with MFP by trying to have periods of time where you don't log.

Still eat healthy - after this long you should know, without thinking probably, the foods that are good for you and things that aren't. So start off with trying for a full day of eating well but not logging it. Over time try to build up the amount if time you spend not logging food.

In my view the point of MFP and food logging is education, not accountability.

So use it to teach yourself calories and macro content. But after weeks / m9nths of logging, you should by then already know the types of food that are low calorie, high protein, high carbs or whatever. So there is no need to log, just use your educated and knowledgeable mind to make informed decisions on nutrition without the need to log.

I suspect once the logging has stopped, so will the obsessive eating. Without that unhealthy level of accountability you can start eating mindfully - so eating what your body needs in order to not be hungry and also recognising that enjoying the off treat can form part of healthy nutrition.

FATE you make so much sense about mfp being there to educate. That's such a great point. I do know how to eat healthily, I know what the right portion sizes look like etc.

Maybe I will start by not tracking one day at the weekends

Would it help to realise that you MUST take at least one rest day a week to allow your muscles to recover and develop - if you like to keep your muscles toned and functional, you can't if they are constantly overworked. You're doing damage rather than toning.

For the rest of it - are you NOT doing ordinary things, or things you enjoy, because of your thinking about food & exercise?

If so, you really need to seek some sort of therapeutic intervention, if exercise & diet are getting in the way of your regular everyday life.

Hi skala I totally get it. I’m similar to you (although not in as good shape!). For me, the better shape I’m in the more I feel a compulsion/obsession to eat well/exercise. So, I found just dialling it down a little bit on the eating (not logging for a few days is a good idea) made me relax a lot as I didn’t feel the pressure to maintain the body I’d worked so hard to achieve.

Reading the above makes me sound like I have a bit of a problem and actually I think I’m the sort of personality who could easily develop an eating disorder but I’ve been careful to keep an eye on myself and not tip into it

Thanks purple, it's good to know there's others with a similar mindset to me.

I did actually manage to relax over the weekend. I did track but allowed myself to go slightly over my macros and I also didn't workout Saturday or Sunday.

Back to it Monday but if I can just do it five days a week and sort of switch off at the weekends I think that's ok. I've realised that when I'm not accountable to mfp I binge. Not seriously but I ate two chocolate bars in quick succession because I was 'allowing' myself a relaxed day. I guess I'm still working on finding a balance

I used to be the same with the gym. I was obsessed with going, even though I really didn't want to at times.

I used to go 5 times a week and eventually managed to set myself a new 'rule' of 4 times.

It changed when I got a new job that meant that some days I literally couldn't go. I became much more relaxed about it - if I only went 3 times in a week I accepted it was out of my control.

The food thing is worrying. I have a friend who does that- along with exercise. I went to the gym so that I could eat and drink more!

My friend is on a constant diet as well as exercising for an hour a day. Apparently Victoria Beckham is the same. I think it is disordered eating.

The gym is something that will always be a big part of me. I used to train hard as part of my job and now I don't work but working out is a significant part of my routine and that won't change, nor do I want it to.

I just can't shake the feeling that the minute I stop tracking my food I will put on weight. I literally can not tolerate that idea for a second

I'm the same as well. I recognise that my eating is now definitely disordered and I run pretty much most days, I find it very hard to skip more than a couple of days in a row, it is torture not being able to go for me. I have dropped a lot of weight recently, and am very toned, and every mouthful that I eat I think twice about. I don't have MFP though.

I am fairly petite (5ft 3, 7.7 stone) and don't eat much really, a small bowl of porridge for brunch and a light, healthy dinner, with fruit for snacks. I know if I am not eating enough I won't be able to run though, so I guess that is my judge. My BMI is not underweight though.

I also have a fear of too much food and putting on weight. Running is a massive part of my life, and I believe I need to be my current weight to run the best I can, as being heavier will make it harder.

just can't shake the feeling that the minute I stop tracking my food I will put on weight. I literally can not tolerate that idea for a second

That is not a healthy relationship to food; it’s quite disordered thinking.