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Original poster

Is it gauche to be friendly at exercise classes

40 replies

LadyWithLapdog · 19/08/2017 15:59

After a long gap I've started going again, various classes at various gyms. Why is everyone so unfriendly?! I don't expect a full welcome because I'm new but at least eye contact and smile back. Quite off putting :(

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 13:45

I'm not going there to make friends. Im going to exercise. But it doesn't have to be joyless. It makes me feel good, not grumpy. Eye contact and a smile costs nothing.

Is everyone using 'gauche'? I was here first! Replace with 'awkward'.

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MsMartini · 22/08/2017 15:02

OP, some people just don't at the gym - it would cost them. Don't take it personally, keep smiling yourself and you will get to know people - I have (but mainly by doing small classes where you often work in twos, no breath for talking but definitely bonding! and chatting in changing room and sauna etc).

Christmastree43 · 22/08/2017 15:05

It varies in my experience - used to go a vair expensive chain gym and they were all horrible snotty cows in the classes there and very cliquey with the instructors. Recently joined my cheap and cheerful local/ independent gym and the ladies are lovely there - lots of fun and friendly laughs but not crossing any lines of overfriendliness!

Christmastree43 · 22/08/2017 15:06

Agree OP I'm not 'there to make friends' but also don't see why people think they have to be so rude and exclusive at gyms

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 18:57

I'm intrigued about classes where you work in pairs. Ballroom dancing 💃🏼? I'd find that intimidating as I'm not a natural with my feet. Having said that, I have tried out Zumba (I'm convinced the moves and style of music have changed since I last went five years ago) and clubbercise (good fun and the lights are off so I can get my moves mixed up).

Xmas-tree - you get it! And in fairness a few others too :)

I'll be so busy once the kids start their own activities come September that I'll barely have time to worry about this. I'm trying out as many as I can before then so I can see which ones to stick with. I like the dumbells best so far.

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MsMartini · 22/08/2017 23:24

God no Lady. I would clear the room.😀 They are Grid and boot camp at virgin active - circuits often with two to a station, involves a bit of sorting out who will use which weight and once you get to recognise people you tend to team up. Small classes too. Not saying lots of chat but new people are welcomed and people do usually say hello at least.

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 22/08/2017 23:33

There's a circuit class at lunchtime that I was eyeing. They describe all sorts of equipment on the website (I mean, a ladder?!) and I'm tempted to try it if I get a chance. In fact there are so many new ones since I last went more regularly, no reason to get bored nowadays.

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MsMartini · 22/08/2017 23:36

I really like mine - learn new stuff all the time, loads of variety, evyone does it at their level, no need to be co-ordinated. And they last 30 mins!

tigercub50 · 22/08/2017 23:44

When I was doing karate, there was someone at the advanced class who used to talk all the way through & it was incredibly offputting. I was so glad when she got the next belt up & didn't have to stand next to me anymore! Gym is different as you're not trying to follow instructions but I imagine a lot of people just want to switch off & do their thing. I didn't last long at the gym but when I went, I would exchange pleasantries if someone was next to me then get on with it!

Ecclesiastes · 23/08/2017 06:31

Eye contact and s smile cost nothing

Do you want the men at the gym to do this too, OP? Or is it just the women who get the flak for being unfriendly?

Fuck that. I'm not making eye contact and smiling at randoms for no reason. You might latch on to me and want to talk!

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2017 06:41

Someone's got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning ^^

There are no men at the classes I went to. I'm capable of being polite without flirting or latching on to people. You might notice Ecclesiastes that this is in Exercise, not in AIBU and perhaps adjust your tone for a more considerate discussion.

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eurochick · 23/08/2017 06:54

I've never chatted to anyone at an exercise class, or seen anyone do it (unless they already knew one another).

dementedpixie · 23/08/2017 07:50

I have made so many friends from doing classes. How can you not say hello or smile? I meet up regularly with someone (female!) I first met at a body pump class about 7 years ago. I still go to that class although the instructor had changed now

Ecclesiastes · 23/08/2017 08:37

haha, that's me told! I'm still not being all chummy at the gym, though. it'll take more than a MN ticking off to change that.

Original poster
LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2017 14:18

That's you told, now go and do some squats and put on your smiley face :)

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