Still look pregnant after 3 years - what can I do?

[Paperowls]

I am so over looking pregnant but I'm not making any progress. I've been working out with a personal trainer for 8 months but I'm not any fitter or more toned. I've got three kids, the youngest is 3. I look awful, like an egg on legs. My self esteem is at rock bottom, husband has cheated on me and every time I see my reflection I'm reminded of a pantomime dame. Pre kids I was never a super fit person, but I had a waist and didn't look like Humpty Dumpty. Why isn't working out changing my shape?

Might sounds stupid but have you changed your diet?

Are you a healthy weight? Because if you're overweight and an 'apple' shape then you're going to carry that weight around your middle. The answer in that case is to lose weight.

With respect, would you consider ditching the husband? A cheater will never be good for your self esteem and without that stress in your life it may be easier to feel good about yourself.

WRT exercise, cardio to bring your weight down combined with lots of crunches and core strengthening moves maybe? There are loads of videos on youtube and I knowing difficult to fit in around kids etc but even 10 mins daily will make a big difference if you can get into the habit.

This is often due to a distasis recti that hasn't corrected.

The usual advice is to stop doing any exercises that use your outer abdominal muscles, like crunches and sit ups. And try to lock your core before picking anything heavy up or pushing a buggy.

Do a lot of deep core exercises instead - e.g. pelvic floor exercises, mutu system, some Pilates exercises (head on the floor if lying down). This type of thing.

Mine slowly went away after about a year of being very very careful and doing Pilates every week with a teacher who is a physio and understood that I had a muscle separation.

Ditch the Husband for a start. That's 10 stone of deadweight easily lost.

I use My Fitness Pal to track my eating and I consume around 1800 calories per day on average (some days are worse though). I don't eat meat or anything fried. Mainly carbs and fruit and veg.
My training routine is mix of cardio (things like spin bike or rowing) and strength stuff with kettle bells and medicine balls. I did Pilates for a year after my last baby was born but gave it up as it was hurting my pelvic bones. I've never heard of distasis recti. How would I know if I have this? I can't do the plank, would that be a symptom of it?

This has an explanation of how you check if you have diastasis recti.
www.befitmom.com/diastasis-recti.php

and the marriage is a mess, but I kind of can understand why he's done what he's done, when I look like I do. Not many men could get the hots for a sack of potatoes!

What's your BMI? I'm an apple shape since having kids but I look a heck of a lot worse now (BMI 29) than after I lost first lot of baby weight (BMI 22).

Don't make excuses for your husband though - he is married to you and meant to be in love with you, he shouldn't care if you have gained a bit of weight!!

Sorry, but there is NO excuse for your husband's behaviour. If he has issues in your relationship that are deal breakers for him then the adult thing to do is discuss a separation with you. There is NEVER an excuse for cheating.

My BMI is 25. Just at the top end of the ok bit. Could be better but my main focus is reducing my waistline so that I can wear trousers again. I've said this to my trainer - is she not giving me the right kind of work to do?

Sorry your husband is your problem. I look like shit, my husband still loves me, wants me and more importantly doesn't stick his dick in someone else. Your husband is a knob.

That is true. And his actions have knocked a good chunk out of my self esteem. That aside, I am mightily fed up of looking 6 months pregnant and paying money on working out and looking no different. There must be some exercises I can do to reduce my roly-poly middle and look less like I've given up on myself.

Stop making excuses for your cheating bastard husband. He married you in sickness and in health etc etc. There is never an excuse that makes it ok.

Speak to your trainer about your lack of progress? Find a new trainer with experience working with post pregnancy bodies?

Look up the mu tu system as well. Specifically designed for diastasis recti

How often are you exercising and do you walk daily?

Currently I work out with my trainer once a week, I always walk 10,000 steps a day (inc commuting) and twice a week I cycle about with my child on the back of my bike doing chores.

Are you loosing weight?

No idea tbh. I don't weigh myself regularly. I started the training to try and improve my muscle tone and core stability rather than lose weight.

I've just tried to do the diastasis recti test and I'm non the wiser! I don't appear to have any muscle on the left hand side of my abdomen or below my belly button. Just lots of crepy skin! Nice!

If your BMI is 25, you are not fat.

Your body will have changed shape though after having children.

how tall are you and how much do you weigh?

I think your trainer is deficient if she hasn't mentioned diastasis recti or tested you. And she should have also properly assessed you to begin with so you would know if you had lost weight/inches/body fat. It sounds like you're quite active but maybe you need more protein. And it's a definite possibility that you have muscle separation and should try to incorporate exercises to heal that. If you're working out with a trainer regularly i would expect you to be able to do the plank to be honest, so not being able to could be a possible sign of separation of muscles.

If you're pressing in those areas and not feeling bumpy hardness of muscle then it sounds like you have got diastasis- basically split tummy muscles. Try this: lie down and place the flat of your palm over your belly button pointing downwards. Now do a small sit up and see if you can feel any ridges or edges of your muscle wall. It may take 3 or 4 fingers width before you get to the edges from what you're describing. I'm 3 yrs post partum and still 1-2 fingers width split. It never completely closes for some women but Pilates or similar will help.

Jillian Michaels 6 week 6pack and Ripped in 30 - 6 days a week. Do Week 1 from Ripped in 30 everyday alternating with 6week6pack Workouts 1 & 2. eg Monday Ri30 Week 1 + 6w6p Workout 1, Tuesday Ri30 Week 1+ 6w6p Workout 2. Then Week 2 etc. Once you've finished Ripped in 30, invest in Body Revolution and then Body Shred.

Ditch husband
Ditch carbs and fruit
Ditch cardio
Ditch pt

Start lifting.