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Original poster

My DH is going to drive me mad (running related)

21 replies

macnab · 01/04/2015 09:52

I started running first week of January. Did a couch to 5k 'class' in my local town and stuck at it, haven't missed a run since week 1 I now run 5k three times a week and am amazed at myself!

My DH has a stressful job and gets zero exercise, has a really awful diet and in general seems quite unhealthy. He recently gave up smoking, which I'm delighted about, and last week bought a weighing scales. He's 17 stone. So last night he announced he was 'going for a run'. I was really pleased that he is going to tackle his weight/lack of exercise but ended up being really worried when I heard his 'plan'.

I suggested he download one of the hundreds of C25K apps for his iphone and use that, but he looked at me like I was mad and said "that's just for ladies" He intended to just leave the front door and run, no warm up walk etc. Then was asking me about the routes that I do, but again when I explained that there's a lot of hills and a 5k route on his first outing might not be the best move, he poo-pooed it and said that he'd 'wing it'

So he went out at 9:50pm - after laughing at my suggestion to wear a high-vis vest (he was dressed head to foot in navy, not one reflective strip on him) and came back 45 mins later unable to breathe Said he'd ran most of the time "until he absolutely needed to walk". We had a heated discussion about the need to stretch afterwards, which he (of course) disagreed with, but reluctantly did actually do a few stretches in the end. Then announced that he plans to do this every night from now on. When I tried to explain about rest days in the early stages, he again dismissed it as not applicable to him

How can I get him to see that he could really do himself an injury if he tries to do too much too soon? Is there a website or app that is more 'manly' ?? The ones I've looked at are specifically aimed at women. By the way, he's not particularly sexist, I just think he's feeling his age lately (42) and for some reason thinks he can just instantly go back to how he was 20 years ago but knowing deep down that he can't, and is feeling a bit embarrassed about it.

OP posts:

ImBrian · 01/04/2015 09:57

What about encouraging him to join a beginners group at a running club? I did this as it suited me better then couch to 5k. Sometimes if it's someone else telling them our pig headed partners will listen!

MelanieCheeks · 01/04/2015 10:00

neutral advice

Lots of other things you might suggest, without lecturing, are Run Zombies Run, if that's his thing, or finding a local parkrun - brilliant if he's into statistics and figures.

suzannecallmestan · 01/04/2015 10:09

Lol @ the masculine bravado :o
My other half keeps talking about coming with me on a 10 miler ...?

Discounted · 01/04/2015 10:14

It's not really your job to make him understand.

If he managed 45 mins of almost all running, he's not as unfit as you think he is. If he gets injured, it will be self limiting and he'll have to rest.

It might not be a great idea but I don't think there's anything to be gained by nagging. Leave him to it. Being stupid as a beginner runner is a rite of passage and he'll learn.

NickiFury · 01/04/2015 10:19

People have been running for years without the C25k approach. I dare say many still will.

Let him just get on with it. You sound a bit doom and gloom to be honest, which would irritate the life out of me.

base9 · 01/04/2015 10:21

He sounds a bit of an idiot - uninformed, no reflective gear - but you can' t fix stupid. Leave him to it. Probably won' t last long unless he comes up with a plan and a clue. He hs shot down your sensible suggestions.

suzannecallmestan · 01/04/2015 10:27

Very true Niki and discounted but then again I think the incremental approach increases the chances of long-term success.

Is it possible he is deliberately self sabotaging? ?

Bigbadgeorge · 01/04/2015 10:31

Urgh my dh does this every now and then. He used to be a really good runner in his younger days so can't understand why his legs suddenly won't carry him 5 miles after months and months of no exercise. He ends up injured every time. I've had to pick him up in the car before now
I agree that you have to let him get on with it. Worst that will happen is that he might pull a muscle. Not worth the argument.

Original poster

macnab · 01/04/2015 11:19

sorry if I sound doom & gloom, I made a real effort not to when discussing all this last night with DH - hence the need for me to vent on here!

I am really chuffed that he's tackling this, its not something I've ever mentioned to him, certainly not nagged because I know what that could do to a person's confidence. I'd just like to see him be a bit more...sensible about it?

But those who have said to leave him off and let him do it his way, are right. I just wanted to let my frustration out. Thanks

OP posts:

IrianofWay · 01/04/2015 11:25

"If he managed 45 mins of almost all running, he's not as unfit as you think he is. If he gets injured, it will be self limiting and he'll have to rest. "

Quite! I would have congratulated him, been suitably impressed and when he aches like a bastard this morning, gently suggest he might perhaps try your suggestion of a gradual approach to running and some warm down work. BTW I used to stretch before and after - never stopped me getting injuries. I now find the best approach is to start and end the run with a 5 minutes walk.

KittyandTeal · 01/04/2015 11:28

Yeah I'd leave him to it. There no way at 17stone (an unfit 17stone) ran most of the way around 5k, I imagine he's keeping up appearances. (I say this as a moderately fit, size 12 woman who is struggling her way through the C25k)

He'll either be fine and find his own way or he'll go over board and injure himself.

Just make sure when he does realise he can't run 5k every day without a warm up or a stretch after without injuring himself you simply raise an eyebrow at him in a silent 'told you so'

Pootles2010 · 01/04/2015 11:28

I'd leave him to it. The only thing i'd be putting foot down over is hi-viz, if he's going out at night.

KanyesVest · 01/04/2015 11:29

The only thing I'd be suggesting most firmly is that he puts on something hi-vis it's as much for other people, drivers, etc, as for himself, and while straining a muscle will leave him and probably you-- pissed off for a while, being hit by a car because he can't be seen is a much, much bigger problem.

For what it's worth, I run (slowly) up to 8km at a time and never bother with a warm up or cool down walk and rarely stretch and in 2 years I've never had an injury .

KittyandTeal · 01/04/2015 11:29

I'm with pootles re the high viz. I don't have one but then I only run during the day (running in the dark scares me, zombies and all that)

He def needs one if he plans on running late at night or early morning.

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 01/04/2015 11:30

Yes, let him get on with it. He'll either injure himself or be lucky and get through it (in which case he'll be insuffably smug, but hey, he'll be fit at least).

I would point out that he looks like an amateur going out with no high vis though.

bonzo77 · 01/04/2015 11:31

My DH started running like this a year ago. He now does 10k 3 x a week. No stretches. No warm up or cool down. He's 41. No injuries apart from an ingrowing toenail caused by cutting them wrong. At my insistence he wears hi viz and properly fitted running shoes. He looks and feels good for it.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/04/2015 11:37

This is how my DH runs. I just leave him to it. As a PP said, people have managed without the c25k approach for years.

whatlifestylechoice · 01/04/2015 12:06

I'm another one that doesn't do stretches. I haven't had any running injuries in the last five years.
Also, I stopped for several months once and then started running 5k again easily enough. It's not that far.

it's definitely silly not to wear a hi-viz if he's running at night though, unless where he's running is very well-lit.

suzannecallmestan · 01/04/2015 13:08

some people have a naturally high V02 max and therefore even in an untrained state have the cardiovascular capacity to run a reasonable distance (they would still improve with training though)

Even so the musculo-skeletal system tends not to be able to withstand much running without building up to it gradually, then again some people have naturally good running form and economy

Original poster

macnab · 01/04/2015 13:13

He definitely didn't run the whole time, he even said so himself. I think the fact that he's only recently given up smoking means that his lung capacity is compromised, regardless of how willing his legs may be. That, and the fact that he's done absolutely no exercise of any sort for a good 15 years.

Yeah I'm just going to let him get on with it, and be supportive/encouraging. Might buy him a reflective arm band though, just to cover the safety aspect

OP posts:

fredfredgeorgejnr · 01/04/2015 17:01

There is no evidence from scientific studies that stretching is beneficial to running, either in terms of soreness, injury prevention, or in performance (and for performance the evidence is more for it being harmful). Given that, there is nothing wrong with him not bothering, and it would be far, far worse to discourage his exercising by making him do something he doesn't want to.

Stretching of course potentially has its own benefits even if it doesn't help running, but they're much, much less than increasing the activity of a 17 stone ex smoker! Let him wing it, talk about niggles / aches / pains and then maybe make a plan to address those if he gets them, but as others have said loads of us have gone from non-runners to runners without.

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