feeling fat, wobbly, lazy, horrid, poor, unmotivated and hard done by :-(

[mothersmilk]

that about covers it.... i love exercise i love to be fit but having kids being self employed with sporadic work, working school hours having no money and feeling guilty if i have too much time for me means i just never seem to stick to any workout routine. I have jm dvds and i can run and it all starts off great but in the end its the same, i feel bad for taking so much time for myself when dh doesn't (his family me included is his life and he feels his priority is to be with us rather than have something for himself), or work picks up and i have no time, i need to look good for my job so turning up sweaty and un done to a client is a big no no, so i have to add another hour on to my workout just to be client ready. I love the gym and feel i get the bests results when im there but i just cant afford it or can i it would only be £10 more than i pay for my swim membership already is it just the time i feel guilty about? ahhh i realise this may seem like incoherent babble but i really needed to vent. I just dont feel like me anymore :-(

Have you said anything like this to DH ? Does he have any issue with you taking time/money for yourself?

No this is it he doesn't its all in my head maybe the money thing as he is the main earner. But he's so selfless it makes me feel selfish.

actually he does make little jokey comments if i do go for a run or work out etc like oh has it been a hard day going out for a jog, are you meeting your swimming boyfriend today, its looks bad written down but i always brush it maybe it sinks deeper than i realised

I know what you mean, but I honestly think exercise is a part of life and as important as food etc. Your mood obviously changes when you exercise so your family can only benefit.

Stating the obvious but do you run once the kids are in bed? Every family is different but me and DP 'change ends' a lot at the weekend, he plays golf then I get a few hours to myself.

Is there a reason you're both needed all the time?

Mothersmilk you sound like a nice person, but I suspect you'd be an even nicer person to be around if you exercised regularly! Your DH may be the rare exception but most of us need a bit of time and space to do what we enjoy. If your time and space makes you healthier, happier and more confident then your whole family will benefit, so in that respect you are being the opposite of selfish! I doubt DH begrudges the time or money (speak to him, ask him outright if he means the 'jokey' comments because they make you feel bad).

Spend the £10, join the gym,if you carry on feeling this way you have a good chance of ending up depressed, overweight and even more miserable - definitely not good for your marriage

we bothe work evenings one or the other iyswm? I guess it really comes down to my guilt perhaps I just need to grow some balls

I have no idea why you would feel guilt at spending a few hours a week exercising. Most adults, including those with kids, do have some time each week for themselves. I don't think it's at all healthy to feel that you mustn't spend any time without your kids.

It's up to you - do you want to exercise or not?

I feel guilty taking time for myself too. At the moment I go to the gym on Saturday mornings whilst dh takes dd swimming at the same gym, then we meet afterwards for breakfast so it feels like a treat for everyone. I also use the crèche at the gym so I can go during the week, or I go late in the evening when dd is in bed. Would anything like that work for you?

I think exercise make me a nicer person on the whole.

My DH likes being with the kids without me interfering. Mine doesn't do much for himself but that's his choice and not mine.

I find running is good as it doesn't take much time (but you know that anyway). I have also started WW to lose a bit of weight and make me feel better about myself.