Westminstenders: PreGrades (Minority Report comes to the UK)

[RedToothBrush]

In Aug 2020, London, DC's prototype 'PreGrades' launched from the education department stops plebs before they go to university, reducing the social mobility rate to zero percent. Social mobility is predicted using specialized mutated humans, called "Teachers", who "predict" grades by marking shit lots of course work and exams over a period of years. Would-be social climbers are knocked down in a computer algorithm which distorts reality and hits the disadvantaged hardest. Central government is on the verge of adopting the controversial program nationwide by applying it in all departments from the DWP, the Home Office, the Department of Health and the Department of Justice to predict benefit fraud, getting sick asylum seeking and crime before it occurs.

DC's vision of the future is based on excellence being genetically ingrained into the elite but he must sell this vision to the unsuspecting public in a series of public votes which rely on the idea of the 'undeserving'. Little do they know that they too will be the victims of this plan until a mysterious bug appears and only the wealthy and well connected are able to get hold of adequate PPE and they are no longer able to buy bog roll nor retire to Spain as they had previously and endless queues for pizza form near Kent.

I think it would be a fitting end to the tale of the blond gentleman and his bid to become King of the World (or whatever) if the last chapter were about his flight from the chaos he caused on the luxury yacht of a Russian oil billionaire, leaving nearly-wife, child and dog waving and whining disconsolately looking out over the sea to Skye. You couldn’t make it up, just like you couldn’t make up most things that have happened over the last four years.

borntobequiet my thoughts ran on similar lines but you have framed it all so much better than I ever could. I thought the name of the yacht was particularly apt Latest news though says they're back at nr10 because of security fears. O well...

Apparently "having" to cut the holiday short is the SNP's fault

No, back at No 10 because he wants to play the martyr. Poor man, how many holidays has he had this year?

prettybird if he had gone aboard Le Grand Bleu for a spot of self exile, I believe there's now a vacant hospital bed in Omsk where he could hide out. Better than a fridge and with ventilator included.

^ self-imposed exile!

@Peregrina

No, back at No 10 because he wants to play the martyr. Poor man, how many holidays has he had this year?

This. Haven't the press always reported on where the PM holidays? I recall seeing pics of DCameron in shorts and sandals. What's the big deal now?

@prettybird

Apparently "having" to cut the holiday short is the SNP's fault

Not cos Carrie was fucked off with the rain, a tent or a 4 month baby in a tent?

I really don't know what story is funnier tbh.

....quite apart from the fact that it was the Mail - that well known pro-independence paper - wot broke the story

In contrast, Nicola was asked yesterday during the daily press briefing if/where she would be going on holiday and answered that while she was recommending that people stay within the UK for holidays (because of the risk of new quarantine requirements being implemented), much as she would love to have a holiday there was no way, with so much going on, that she's able to take one at the moment

I suppose that that will be turned around into "Control Freak Sturgeon refuses to delegate"

The Tweeter DGR referred to about a super injunction has posted an interesting photo.

twitter.com/JohnPaynter1970/status/1297095566816677888?s=20

This account is also tweeting on the rumours.
twitter.com/skwawkbox/status/1296896818643636226?s=20

@prettybird

Apparently "having" to cut the holiday short is the SNP's fault

Or possibly the Daily Fail being tipped off to provide a neat excuse.

I’ve also found this Tweet from last year, musing that the row between Johnson and Symonds in her flat that was reported by neighbours was something to do with a 28 yr old violinist ... as reported by Private Eye at the time.

Popbitch had some much more salacious snippets

Cameron is safely in Cornwall with his family - friends of mine bumped into him on Wednesday while he was playing golf.
He may have been a wazzock but his private life was not a news story.

On another “note”, if anyone is planning a private event, then there is apparently a rather splendid violinist whose agent’s website describes her as a fully self-contained high impact musician perfect for corporate product launches and private events of any type

Now where is Terry-Thomas when you need him ...

For your amusement and edification

https://www.politicalite.com/media/hes-back-murdoch-teams-up-with-farage-neil-to-launch-british-news-channel-in-2021/

Sky has been in decline for many years and the UK market has a huge appetite for a right-wing outlet to take on the left-wing rhetoric in the broadcast media

It's what we've all been needing: Farage, Murdoch and Neil working together

Johnson has the precedent of [Cecil] Parkinson - another Tory who couldn't keep his cock in his pants for the length of time it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" - who gagged his mistress with an order "for the childs" sake. Still in place now even though he is long in hell.

(The Mary Bell case does raise the possibility of an injunction that is effectively permanent unto Doomsday, for legal eagles ...)

@Choux

The Tweeter DGR referred to about a super injunction has posted an interesting photo.

twitter.com/JohnPaynter1970/status/1297095566816677888?s=20

This account is also tweeting on the rumours.
twitter.com/skwawkbox/status/1296896818643636226?s=20

So two things of no substance that picture. The violin and our Prime Minister.

So from her name the violinist would appear to be Russian

She tours the world playing for the rich and famous and played at events Johnson attended when he was foreign secretary and again last summer.

@Choux

So from her name the violinist would appear to be Russian

She tours the world playing for the rich and famous and played at events Johnson attended when he was foreign secretary and again last summer.

Presumably she has to pop back every so often so he can see his child by her too ?

Unlikely
He's shown as much paternal instinct as a fish

She has a LinkedIn profile too - graduate of the Kiev conservatoire.

@BigChocFrenzy

Unlikely He's shown as much paternal instinct as a fish

Provides a good motive to the official squeeze as to why he needs to visit Olga though.

@BigChocFrenzy

Unlikely He's shown as much paternal instinct as a fish

Until it becomes very useful to gag the press.

UK courts are very very very strict about news cases where minors can be identified. Very strict indeed. Just start writing a bit too much about Mary Bells granddaughter (born 2009 - nearly half a century after her grandmothers crimes). Because she is covered by the same protection granted to Mary Bell in 1968.

Of course the foreign media don't have to bother about UK injunctions

If BJ really is at it, I expect at least some foreign tabloids will leap on this as British comic relief from months of COVID stories

Of course the foreign media don't have to bother about UK injunctions

Unless they have a UK presence. And even then we all know that very few people in the UK bother with proper news these days.

Was amused that Scientists for the EU queried the Express headline today which appears to run counter to 4 years of bullshit actively begging for a no deal. Seems now it's a Bad Thing. And not only is it a Bad Thing, but it's a Badly Bad Thing that is the EUs fault.

As was discreetly noted recently by Barnier ... even Japan signed up to EU standards, so there really is fuck all for the UK to think it's got going for it.