I’m going to stand as an MEP in the next election

[GoFiguire]

What do you want me to put in my manifesto?

So far I have:

1. Bring back the Nit Nurse

2. to make it illegal for lorries to overtake other lorries on the A1

3. to say no, I have no experience, but I cannot be any worse than this current shit show

4. to fine local councils for leaving their council office lights on after 8pm and over the weekends

5. to REALLY hold Facebook/ instagram/ twitter accountable for their users. If they can’t ban the hate speech them I’m banning them. Did the taxable income.

There is more.

crowd funding

I’ll happily add May and Corbyn to the House Arrest but not sure I can stretch to Cameron as he is no longer an MP. I could have him arrested for crimes against the state though..?

Cameron:

Crimes against Charcuterie

I work for local government and our lights are on after 8pm because there’s always someone still at work at that time.

In light of that (pun not intended) can you add “employ enough local government staff so that the ones we do have don’t have to work until 1am to try and do the work of 3 people whilst having the general population constantly moaning at them for having a cushy number and being jobsworth pen pushers who do naff all”

If you could I would vote for you

Can you add fines for councils who leave traffic cones up for more than 24hrs off no actual roadwork activities going on.

All added to the list. I take your point about working late, but surely that’s one office and not the whole building? Beverley Town Council I’m looking at you 👀

So, I approached The Independent Group / Change UK and they want to know my social media history.

Do I have to declare myself (as in this NN) to them?

They want to know if you've posted any "Kill All The Gingers!" type posts on FB or Twat.

If your MN presence is anonymous, you may or may not wish to tell them about it and they would never know.

Is Honesty and Transparency part of your political platform?

Yes mockers, it is.

(I could be lying)

Could you add that all tupperware boxes must come with spare lids?

Your Transparency policy must be in line with your Tupperware policy, or people may accuse you of double standards.

You could try the Renew party - they don't ask for social media information (not at the first stage anyway).

www.renewparty.org.uk/become-a-candidate

I don’t think that Tupperware(™️) is made anymore chocolate, but I could always insist that it’s brought back in non soluble corn starch form.

Renew party? Is that the Boots face cream party?

The Tupperware Party sounds better.

People will be needing something to keep their stockpiles in.

They don't make Tupperware any more?

The sound of shattering is from your plates as Tupperware doesn’t make a noise when you drop it from a height out of your top cupboard.

Tupperware is still made/sold worldwide; just not in the UK (and Ireland?) because we don't trust the way it's sold anymore apparently (Too many dodgy MLMs? )

Is it a metaphor for Brexit?

Personally I love my Tupperware (over 20 years old and still going strong ) and wish I could buy some more Nothing else is anywhere near as good.

Well, that’s another item for my manifesto

6. BRING BACK TUPPERWARE!

Renew party? Is that the Boots face cream party?

Yes, run by men who din't quite realise that the brand is rather well kniwn

I’ll go one further - JRM under house arrest with no internet, phone, writing paper nor parchment nor quill.

My vote is yours, OP.

Please can you add to your list -

• Ban cyclists from using A roads.
• Make it illegal to use palm oil on chocolate
• Ban fireworks, except on 5 Nov and New Years Eve.

If you do, you have my vote

Could you reintroduce the stocks for Farage, Johnson, Rees-Mogg, Francois, Davis and Gove? Rotten tomatoes only to be thrown at them, I'm not cruel, but I would like something unpleasant and soft to be thrown at them repeatedly and publicly.

Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes

Fine shops who leave their doors open all day, when it’s winter time.

And shops that leave their lights on all night!

Ho yes!!